Booyah!!!

Okay, wipe that smile off your face and finish your Coke because my neck is all better. No more aches and pains. 

In fact, I feel great. As long as I don't look down. Or up. Or left or right.

Since I haven't been blogging much this week I've been filling all the empty hours by doing some very important research. 

In other words, I've been reading books.  Books, books, books. And a few books-on-tape. 

My creative writer teacher always said that if you want to be a GREAT writer, you must write, write, write, but you must also read, read, read.

AMEN, Mr. CWT! 

The public library is my research center.  

It's also my sanctuary, especially since I've also been filling all my empty hours with some very important fretting.  

In other words I've been worrying. Worrying, worrying, worrying, about my little nephew who's been at Primary Children's Hospital for the past nine days and nobody knows why, except that some of his major veins are blocked up with a ginormous blood clot. 

Remember my rockstar brother and his crazy wife who came to Hawaii last year to visit?  It's their boy. 

Ain't it just amazing how protective you can feel of your own boy sometimes?

And your own cousin too. 

If a photo could capture what it's like to fret over your cousin, I imagine this is what it would look like.

Sigh! 

So anyways,  I just finished reading, reading, reading the CUTEST book. It took me three weeks because I savored every single page as if it were a medium rare prime rib smothered in au jus and served with garlic mashed potatoes at Haliewa Joes. I hid the book in my purse and nibbled on it bit by bit just like I nibbled on that Creme Brulee from that little Bakery in Seoul, Korea across from that big underground Mall.

If you're ever in Seoul, Korea, make sure you stop at that little bakery across from that big underground mall. BEST CREME BRULEE EVER!

So this book. I don't know why, but my purse felt exceedingly empty after I turned the last page, not unlike that sense you get when your remember that your nephew is trapped in the hospital, or that all your best friends are trapped on an island far far away.

The book had no point or plot. No climax or resolution. No action, adventure, or romance. And no vampires, magic tree houses or demi-gods.

So why do I miss it?

And why do I miss my nephew, and my best friends? None of them had any vampires or magic tree houses or demi-gods either.

Because! 

That's why.

Because they forced me at gunpoint to care about them, just like Haven Kimmel, bless her heart, forced me at gunpoint to care about Zippy.


I miss Zippy. 

Ooooh, ooooh, oooh, I just noticed the bottom line of the photo. Read by the author. Did you see that?

I must acquire that book-on-tape since I have a strange fascination with finding out what my favorite authors sound like outside of my own head.

Do you guys ever wonder that? Raise your hand if you've ever wondered what Shakespeare's voice sounded like? I'm guessing Mel Gibson. And what about Charles Dickens? Clive Owen, maybe? Or Joseph Fiennes?

Usually I'm kinda disappointed when I match words and voices. Probably in the same way that Twilight fans were disappointed when they saw Rob Pattinson playing Edward Cullen in the movie.

I was a little freaked the first time I heard Tim O' Brien's voice outside my head because he's from Minnesota.


I was A LOT freaked out the first time I heard David Sedaris' voice outside my head (which just so happened to be last week).

He's a cutie patootie, but he sounds just like Truman Capote. 

I had to start over and over and over, but I'm NO voicist so I pushed through and after four or five chances I'm happy to report that listening to him turn a phrase is like chicken soup for the writer's soul. 

Seriously! Mr. Sedaris is my research project. 

If anyone decided to follow me around and make a made-for-tv-movie out of my exciting life pushing brooms and mops and driving kids around, David Sedaris would be my made-for-tv-movie soundtrack.  He's my background noise, and if there is any chance of becoming a brilliant writer through osmosis then all this research is going to pay off, big time.

(I hope all the fretting pays off big time too.)

Not to speak too soon, but I gotta feeling that my boys are going to be brilliant writers too. Don't say anything, but I've been slipping Shakepeare CD's into their stereo at night while they're sleeping.

Hee hee hee

I think it's working because yesterday one of my twins came up for breakfast saying, "Wherefore art my cereal, mother?"


BOOYAH!