My daughter got into a fist fight with her English teacher yesterday.
Apparently it wasn't a bad fight. It was a good fight, as she put it--one that made him think deeply about literary devices and their uselessness.
Of course he, having English teacher eyeballs, is under the impression that good books show the story rather than tell the story by employing such devices as similes and metaphors. They may make allusions and foreshadow or they may conote or denote. They may use paradox or oxymorons or dramatic irony or personification.
My daughter, in her infinite wisdom, raised her hand (I hope) and declared that this was nonsense.
"Do authors really even think ahead like that or is it just accidental? I mean do they really say 'hey, this sentence needs some onomatopoeia?'"
"What a good question!" said the good English teacher. And then he went on to explain that all the best books are full of excellently executed literary devices.
"What about Twlight then?" She said. "Everyone is obsessed with Twilight and it doesn't use any literary devices."
"I'm talking about books that last forever," said the good English teacher. "Books that people remember." He used Ernest Hemingway as an example, explaining how painstakingly Mr. Hemingway revised every sentence to make sure every word and image was casting spells and creating magic.
That's when my daughter put on her best imma brat face and said, "But nobody reads Ernest Hemingway."
And that's when her English teacher poked her eyes out.
I think I would marry that English teacher if he asked me.