Dear Braden Bell,

I wish you hadn't cried in my comment box yesterday because now I feel guilty that, as a new author of The Road Show, you were stuck in Tennessee judging field day during the LDS Storymakers conference.  

If it makes you feel any better, you didn't miss much.  Seriously! 

It was kind of a yawner. 

The best part was the Cheetos and Mountain Dew. 

Normally I would just grab a bottle of water, but it gave me a little thrill to think of drinking a Mountain Dew at an LDS venue.  So I took it. 

And then I giggled. 

When Melanie J. saw me drinking my Dew she was reminded of a story about someone close to her who used to drink twelve Mountain Dew's a day until his teeth finally fell out.

I didn't giggle after that. 

Braden Bell, do you feel better now that all you missed was Melanie J killing my Mountain Dew joy?

Oh, and you also missed me sneaking DeNae's Circus Animal Cookies during the Description workshop. 

The way it went down was like this: I slipped into the seat next to DeNae before the Description workshop to find her commenting on my last post. I grabbed me a handful of cookies, popped them in me mouth, and said "whatcha doin?" She turned the computer screen my direction so I could see that she was looking at the photographic evidence of us I posted on my blog, then she poked my eyes out. But not before I was able to make out her words in my comment box: 

"Holy Frick and Frack Mister. Bigglesworth! How many chins does one me need?" 

Without warning, the half-chewed cookie spewed forth from my mouth in projectile motion and the girl in front of me moved seats.

So Braden Bell, you missed the Mountain Dew and the Circus cookie shower, but that's it.

Besides the high heels.  There were many way cute high heels at the conference.  Mine were way cute. And DeNae's were way cute. But Melanie J's were WAY cutest! 

See what I mean? Even her French toes were way cute.  

Her baby was way cute too!

Don't you think she could be MY baby? (Sometimes I wish I could steal me a baby. Does anyone else ever get that urge?)

Oh, and Braden Bell, you also missed meeting Annette Lyon. 

I have no earthy idea why I cubed this photo.  Maybe to prove that it's hip to be square.  

(pssst, Annette, don't tell Braden Bell, but you're workshop was da bombdiggity.)

Hey, if you look closely you can see my Peace necklace. Thank goodness no one tried to beat me up.

So Braden Bell, I'm sorry I made the conference look like so much fun, but don't feel bad, the most intellectually stimulating conversation I had was when me and DeNae found ourselves some comfy chairs and kicked our high heels off and talked about Davide Sedaris like a couple of love sick school girls.  

The conversation went something like this:

Me: LOL, remember the time he was learning French . . . LOL

DeNae: ha ha ha ha ha and remember the chocolate bell . . . hee hee ho ho ha

Me: And how he was trying to quit smoking . . . (tears streaming my face)

DeNae: And the bouquet of flowers on the table . . . (doubled over).

And on and on and on and on it went.

Btw, peeps, Kazzy posted photos of that sparkly ring that nearly hypnotized me.  Check it out here. But beware because her whole blog is hypnotic. Even her profile pic. Don't say I didn't warn you. 

And hey, let's all give Braden Bell some support.  Check out his new book cover. As my favorite student, Wolfgang from Austria, would say, It's TREMENDOUS!  And if you want to read more about Braden Bell's new book, click here.