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Happy April Fools Day everyone!

I'm not very good with jokes, but this year I really wanted to come up with some outlandish story to fake you guys out--something completely unbelievable, maybe involving the loss of blood and guts, like sewing the Big Dipper into my thumb with a '67 Bernina while making trek paraphernalia.

But then last night I was at the church sewing trek paraphernalia on a '67 Bernina and I literally sewed the Big Dipper into my thumb.

Weird, huh?

Then I was going to open my post by declaring something absurd like "It's April and it's all a blizzard outside!" Then I would pause for dramatic effect before shouting "APRIL FOOLS! ba dum bum"

But when I woke up this morning it really was all a blizzard outside.

Then I was going to come up with some ridiculous story about how I looked out my window and what did I see? Two ducks waddling through the snow towards me.

But then I looked out my window and . . . well, you do the math.

I guess I'll just tell true stories this year.

Last week I bought my daughter this necklace at my Laurel Adviser's jewelry party because I thought it looked young. And fresh. And hip.

But here I am wearing it, because my daughter thought it was the ugliest necklace she ever did lay eyes on.

"It looks like an old lady," she said. "Or a little girl."

Anyways, I had to get my money's worth out of it so I wore it to the library and the cute little librarian lady said, "what a CUTE necklace."

I told my daughter this in my best nani nani voice and guess what she said?

"Was she old?"

I don't want to give the wrong impression of my daughter because she really is practically perfect. She makes her bed every morning and writes in her journal every night. She draws parallels between the laws of God and the laws of physics that will have you patting your head and rubbing your belly at the same time. She speaks her mind about politics and religion with equal parts tenacity and absurdity, and she can laugh like a drunken seal. The only thing she doesn't do well, that I can think of off the top of my head, is attend firesides with a positive attitude.

All that being said, she's a brat. Especially when it comes to green jewelry. Or when I pop a book-on-tape into the car CD player, a habit I have recently acquired because I'm bored. And I'm busy. And that's a deadly combination.

My daughter thinks I'm into books-on-tape because I'm old, but I think being old is just a phase because really there's something about books-on-tape that creeps me out.

And yet I can't deny the appeal of freeing up my eyeballs and my fingers to drive my kids around and scrub my toilets and exercise my booty while still culturizing my brain.

I'm just a two-birds-one-stone kinda gal.

But then I'm also a sew-the-Big-Dipper-into-your-thumb kinda gal, so . . .

Hmmm . . .

P.S. April Fools! My daughter's not really a brat.


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