I didn't go to the BYU football game, but I did go to a BYU baseball game.
Why? Because my super studmo nephew plays on the team.
Picture this: My hub and I are sitting next to my daughter. Behind us and to the right are sitting my three sons. In front of us and to the right is sitting a Polynesian.
That leaves an entire empty row between my three sons and the Polynesian.
Good, because this post relies on physical comedy.
Since I've been living in Utah I get a little goofy when I see Polynesians.
Goofy, as in I have an uncontrollable urge to smile and shaka and wrap my skinny white arms around them.
For some odd reason, they don't seem to feel that same urge when they see me.
I think it's a case of mistaken identity. I think they think I'm a Utard.
At the baseball game I kept smiling and doing the shaka at this Polynesian, and just as I was beginning to think he didn't speak shaka, he stood up.
Guess what he was wearing? A Laie Boyz shirt.
In Laie if I had seen a Polynesian wearing a Laie Boyz shirt I would duck and cover so he couldn't pull a boyz-in-the-hood on me. But in Utah I poked my daughter and said, "LOOKIE! A Laie boy! Let's go say ALOHA and tell him we're Laie girlz! Maybe we could do da kine hula for him!"
My daughter was like "MOM! ARE YOU INSANE? We are afeared of the Laie Boyz!!!!"
Then she leaned in close and raised her voice to a hoarse whisper, "So help me GAD if you do something stupid . . . "
I am more afeared of my daughter than I am of the Laie boyz so I held my tongue.
A few minutes later my three sons, who, if you remember correctly, were sitting behind us and to the right asked my daughter to toss him a bottle of soda.
My daughter picked up the bottle of soda and gracefully flung it through the air. The next part happened in slow motion.
T h e s o d a s a i l e d s l o w l y t h r o u g h t h e a i r t o w a r d m y s o n s. T h e y r e a c h e d o u t . . .
but it just kinda smacked the back of the chair in front of them and ricochetted off in the general direction of the Laie boy'z head.
Which is to say it bounced. Twice. Once off the back of the chair in front of my three sons, and once off the back of the head of the Laie boy.
Picture this: My daughter on her hands and knees begging forgiveness from the Laie boy for pelting him in the head with a bottle of soda, (and me in the background doing da kine hula).
Hee hee hee
I think Murphy was an English major because, not only is he a great lawyer, but he also has a fantastic sense of irony.