Thursday, September 3, 2009

If I knew you were coming I'd a baked a pie!

OMGOSH!!!  Guess what I did today!  Guess! Guess! Guess! 

I baked a pie.  From scratch.  


And it was dee-licious and dee-lightful.

Lookie! That's me with my pie (and my stay-at-home-mom hair).

Isn't it bee-U-tiful?

I made the whole thing by myself.  Even the delicate, flakey crust.

I did it because my mom is a tree snob. She discriminates against trees. 

See my sister has two apple trees in her yard--a green apple and a red apple.  Me, I am not a tree racist--I have a dream that one day all apples will be treated equally, but my mom doesn't agree.  She says my sister's red apples are awful and no good.  They're too tart.  

I wanted to prove to her that with a little sugar and spice, even a tart apple will be nice.  

Who's  scrunching up their nose now, Mama mia?  

No one, that's who! 

Unfortunately I had an epiphany while I was baking.  Kinda disillusioning, actually.  You know all those cooking blogs?  They're big fat liars.  Cooking is a dirty dirty job. 

But I guess someone's got to do it. 

Besides baking pies and going to Maceys every day to see if there are any dumb guys giving stuff away, I've been watching Family Feud and eating popsicles with my sick kids.  Three of them have strep throat and I think I'll just start the other one on an antibiotic too.  An ounce of prevention is like a stitch in time, right?  

My poor thirteen year old has something else too.  I can't remember what it's called.  I think it's like hog flu or this-little-piggy flu or wild boar flu. Whatever it is, it looks like this: 

When I asked my son if I could use this photo on my blog, he shrugged and said, "If you think it's necessary." 

K, I'm off to eat some pie, but I just wanted to say mahalo to all ya'll for jumping in to help me poke that rude dude in the eye after insulting my darling daughter.  I haven't been that pet-peeved since my son got scolded in primary for praying that the Steelers would win the Superbowl. 


wesley's mom (sue) said...

It's funny that your son stuffs tissues up his nose. A few of our kids do that when their noses run. I'm always afraid they're going to lose a chunk in their nasal cavity and then having a runny nose will be the least of their problems.

Kristina P. said...

Making a pie makes you a true Utahn now. There's no escaping it.

I am LoW said...

Your children are so supportive of your blog. How do you do that? My son is totally taking a stand and I DON'T LIKE IT. He and his sister got in another fight and I started recording it and he started giving out my full name, address and phone number so I wouldn't post it.

He's a party pooper!

Barbaloot said...

I hope your kids all get better soon. It's too nice outside for anyone to be sick!

And I have the same apple corer/slicer/peeler (but you pronounce it piller in Utah) as you! My brother got it for me for my birthday... Yeah, when I turned 20, I got something to bake pies with. Isn't he a sweetheart...?

The Wixom Zoo said...

mmmm...the pie looks delish! I'm going to make apple sauce from all of the apples I can bribe people to give me. (cause I'm cheap)

I hope your kids feel better soon and that pigs don't fly because it would suck for you to have to shove toilet paper up your nose, don't you think?

Kelly said...

funny you should mention that rude guy; i was going to say that if the pie wasn't so pretty you should slap it in his face....but don't want to ruin a perfectly delicious looking pie, though....

Annette Lyon said...

My kitchen looks like a cocoa factory blew up in it and will for the next month. I've given up trying to escape it.

And my 14-yr-old woke up this morning looking suspiciously like your son. He's staying home. Maybe I should snap a picture for my blog. He'd appreciate it too, I'm sure.

WV: "medish" -- appropriate for your pie, methinks!

April said...

I lost my last comment....darn it! Those nasty piggies must have run off with it! They are out of control!

And ganging up on your boy! How irrits. Maybe we should get the mean guy from the soccer game and get him to deal with the piggy problem. He can send the piggies wee, wee, wee all the way home.

wv says trinew.....try new...bless her heart! Your mom needs to try your new pie! Sugar is good!

Chief said...

K...I couldn't get passed the first picture where I am sure you are shedding on to the pie.

I'm not stable...sorry

DeNae said...

I'm coming! Be there Tuesday. Or maybe Wednesday. Save me some pie? Acknowledge my existence? I'll take anything, Crash.

lori said...

I am sorry about your sick kids. Too bad you don't live closer, I would come and take some apples off your hands and make you some applesauce to go with your apple pie. :)

Jillybean said...

So, did the Steelers win the Superbowl after your son prayed for them?

I should probably know this, but I don't really like baseball.

Sandi said...

hahahahha Jillybean is funny :)

Bloggin Betty said...

I made a pie too...once.

April said...

ooooohhhh....I like Blogging Betty!

Jami said...

Next thing you know you'll be eating pie with a fark and staring your own Cooking with and for Dummies show. I'm so proud of you!

I'm sorry your kids are oinking. Hope they feel better soon and that you don't catch it.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

That looks yummy. If I bring the vanilla bean ice cream (or French vanilla - you can pick) will you save me a slice? I can never make pies, the crust always gets me.

Love the red cabinets btw. Very Daisy Homemaker/Martha Stewart in Utah. I love barn red.

WV - You won't believe it but it is: nosizen
Perfect for that picture!

Sandi said...

"If you feel it's necessary"
I love that!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Your son's comment makes him sound very sick.

Love the pie. Some one is bringing me peaches from Utah in two weeks. I can't wait to get them in tummy tum tum. Yummo!

Mariko said...

None of this ever would have happened if you were still here.
Here you would be a Work at Work Mom with awesome hair, a pie-less kitchen, and kids who don't want their pictures on your blog.

I guess it's a toss up.

I can't BELIEVE Macey's. Especially because they have an E in their name. Who pays people money to take milk off their hands?
Did you have someone test it for chemicals?

Did you punch the dude in the nose?
Seriously. Or use that sign that people in Utah use?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey, I thought I commented in here yesterday. Where did my comment go? I guess I'm going to have to push the handicap button next to the verifier.

Try it you guys, it's seriously creepy.

LoW, ha ha ha The thought of you pulling out your video camera to capture your kids fighting cracks me up. And how funny that your son thought to start shouting out your REAL name and address. This is a point of contention in my family too
sometimes. Sticky!

Oh Barb, you are way way too young/old to get an apple peeler for your birthday. My kids love it at 11 years old, but at 20 it just says "Can you poke me in the eye now?"

Amen Annette, I think I am already giving up baking with apples.

DeNAE, YAY! I will be here. I will make you a pie. I will acknowledge your existence. If it's Tuesday I can do an earlyish time. My sis has set up a lunch date to meet her friends. If it's Wednesday I'm free whenever. Our stuff has not arrived, but we could eat outside in my yard. It's lovely. Can't wait to meet you. Let's email deets.

Lori, you sweetie, I tried to make some applesauce yesterday after all the applesauce talk. I didn't quite get it right, but then alls I have is a wire whisk to work with.

Ha ha Jillybean. YOU are funny! Depending on how much of what you said you are aware of. hee hee

April, I like bloggin' Betty too. hee hee

Hi Jami!!!! Hi!!! So happy to see you. Thanks for dropping by.

And hi Andrea. I'm so happy to see you too. I'm missing all my friends today so it warms my heart to see my old blog buddies. I hope I don't get too clingy. Moving is the pits that way.

Mariko, you are right. You are always right. Except my hair wasn't cute in Hawaii. You got that part wrong.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Wesley's mom. I never thought of that, but now you've got me paranoid. Thanks, girlfriend. :) said...

That pie looks Deeeelicious. This is a great blog btw, I found your blog on the BloggersChoiceAwards and think it is great. I voted for you.
If you get time please vote for us in the Best Educational Blog category;

CaJoh said...

This is a perfect addition to my Friday's Feast today:

Let me know if you want to be linked up.