Tuesday, January 12, 2010


So I couldn't sleep last night. I think it's because American Idol starts today and I can hardly wait!

Or maybe it's because yesterday was national Adopt-An-Old-Boat-Guy-For-A-Day day.

Can you guess who I adopted? Huh? Huh? Huh?

You give up?

Okay, I'll tell you. But first you have to sit down.

And close your eyes.

Now stand up.

Now sit down again.

Now open your eyes.

I'll give you three clues:

1. He's from back in the day when this blog was just a twinkle in your eye.

2. I can't think of him without thinking of Miss Heidi and Swirl and Anjeny and Shelle Belle and the Nutty Hamster Chick and my cousin Emily at Art-in-Sewl and all of the other oldies but goodies who used to toilet paper his blog with me. But mostly I think of his daughter, my BBFF, who discovered my blog and propelled me into super stardom, (but refused to toilet paper her dad's blog)--the one and only, Funny Farmer.

3. He has a thing for boring old boats and while he was restoring his 1947 Gar Wood I had to scold him often for posting so many naked photos of his boat. However, with a little help from a loving friend, the naked boat repented, cleaned up her act and went on to win 3rd place in a boring old boat beauty contest.

You could say she went from geek to chic (which rhymes much better when spoken.)

Since I was the one who peer pressured her into getting dressed, I suggested she be named after moi.

Of course I was out voted by Murphy and his team of lawyers, who said they wouldn't touch that potential liability suit from the universe with a 10-foot pole.

So have you guessed it yet? Huh? Huh? Huh?

That's right! I adopted The Old Boat Guy.

You heard me right. And guess what! He's not as boring as his boat. He's kind and witty and wise. He's a perfect gentleman. He took me out to lunch. Along with my hub and my thirteen-year-old son and my sister and my mom. He took ALL of us out to lunch for all-you-can-eat soup and salad at my favorite all-you-can-eat soup and salad place in the whole wide world, The Olive Garden.

It was delightful.

Although when I asked if we could sit by the garden, I think the hostess thought I was prank calling her because she was like "what garden?" And I was like "you know, the garden where you grow the olives." And she was like "we don't have a garden." But I catch on quick, after I think for a minute, so I fired back, "well, we don't have a horse!"

Get it? Horse? Garden? Your horse is in my garden?

(I don't get it either.)

But anyway, if I had known the old boat guy was treating I would have invited more people, (my MIL in particular). As it stood, it was just the six of us.

It looks like there are only four of us, but my sis is snapping the photographic evidence and my son is hiding behind my hub because he doesn't want to show up on my blog.

Apparently he has no idea how many times he's shown up on my blog over the past 18 months.

For those of you who want to live vicariously through me, let me say that the old boat guy is as adorable in person as he is in print. I never doubted it, of course, except for a few minutes when he told me he'd be driving a gold Buick and wearing brown trousers.

In my language gold Buick translate like this:

Thank goodness the old boat guy is color blind. His gold Buick wasn't gold at all, it was more the color of hazy satin dawn or a sleek sunrise promise.

And that silly goose old boat guy wasn't wearing brown trousers either. He was wearing pants.

Anyways, Mahalo old boat guy for a wonderful adopted lunch.

And also for the bag of I-dee-ho spuds the size of vermont.


Sandi said...

sweetest thing ever.

Sandi said...

First! and I even read it before I commented. I'm seriously reconsidering this blog thing. If it's going to get me taken out for lunch, I just might have to do it.
How come FF wasn't there too?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Maybe the old boat guy couldn't afford to take me and all my family plus his family too. ;)

Or maybe Funny Farmer was painting her new addition. Those paint fumes can play tricks on your brain.

Sandi said...

was there some match making going on at this here lunch?

Jami said...

AW! You got to have lunch with the Old Boat Guy! That's so fun!

Martha said...

So cute, the old boy guy. Yeah, this blog thing gets you taken out to lunch so Sandi should get one.

Wait, I think when I visited Crash they ended up taking my kids to Avatar which cost them a pretty penny.

The Garden of Egan said...

Well, that is awesome that you went to lunch with the old boat guy and got some awesome Idaho spuds. Just don't turn into an Idaho-spud-butt.
Next I want to see you in the boat named after you!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, what are insinuating?? MOI, a matchmaker? HA! ;)

OldBoatGuy said...

WOW! You gave me way tooooo much credit. But thanks, it was a fun lunch hour. I'm glad I met part of your family, and hope to meet the rest in the summer, on the lake.

PS. I'm in Flagstaff now. 44 degrees.

OldBoatGuy said...

It IS a gold Buick, and I am not color blind!

IWA (e - va) said...

Hah! Sandi, thats exactly what i was thinking... (matchmaking).. I didnt know if there was stil a FIL in the picture, and maybe something might have worked out!

I think that having blog friends is so neat- weird... in a weird-neat kind of way! Lucky you for a free olive garden dinner! (did you really call and ask those garden ?'s... haha!)

Amanda said...

I thought the same thing, Sandi. I started singing, "Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. Find me a find, catch me a catch!"

I love the Old Boat Guy! I'm so glad you had a chance to meet him and give us some pictures :)

Anonymous said...


The Crash Test Dummy said...

Fast, what the WHAT?

Amanda and Iwa, WHO ME????

OBG, that is NOT a gold Buick, and you know it. And it was 46 degrees here today so NANI NANI!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

So did you really eat this time? Or were you too busy talking and perhaps playing the part of Yenta? Just a thought. FF missed out big time.

April said...

Awwww Old Boat Guy is so cute. I hope he doesn't hold grudges from the TP'ing incident..... :)
Sandi, get your butt up here and we will Crash in on Crash for a lunch date!

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Ohhhh I Love this post. How fun you got to do that. I love him. I am so glad he remembered me ;-)

P.s.- some pics of Ben's wedding on my blog now ;-)

Funny Farmer said...

"How come FF wasn't there too?"

That's an eggsellent question sandi. I found out about this here all-you-can-eat soup and salad lunch thingy AFTER the fact. That's right, I wasn't even INVITED!


I think maybe the Old Boat Guy didn't want me telling stories on him.

Sandi said...

oh wow. that's awkward!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

oh wow! That IS awkward!

I'm going to go email Funny Farmer.

Thought you were painting, girlfriend. Did you really not know?

OldBoatGuy said...

She really didn't know. How thoughtless I was. (She told me to just come on in when I got there that day, because she would be painting.) I'm in CA now, no web acsess in Death Valley.