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Monday, January 4, 2010

To Someday! (and FOR FRODO!)

I thought yesterday was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day because when I woke up there was a little draft in my heart. I think my x-door neighbor, Martha left a door open when she snatched up her kids and flew back to Hawaii. Were you born in a barn, Martha!? Shut the door behind you, for goodness sakes.

Besides the draft in my heart, it was Sunday. Sunday = meetings and responsibilities and pressures. Sunday = no rest for the weary.

To top it all off, our new church time is @ two freakin' o'clock. Hello! Who in their right mind goes to church at two freakin' o'clock?

It didn't help my spirits that the 2008 Duggar Family Christmas episode of 17 and Counting was on.

The one where the whole famdamily recreates a live nativity for a local parade on a float they built themselves, complete with stable, manger, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS signs, costumes, camels, donkeys, goats and over 2,000 Christmas lights. All with 35-week-pregnant Mom Duggar pleasantly orchestrating the entire project.

And I can't even get my bathrooms cleaned!!

Bottom line, yesterday I was draaaaaaagging my feet back into reality.

But then something happened. Something magical. My Young Women's board and I got kicked out of the kitchen while we were planning our New Beginnings night. And then we got kicked out of the cultural hall. So we snuck into a secret empty room behind the stage, which had a sign on the door reading: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Luckily, I don't heed signs (unless they're from the universe) so we let ourselves in and pulled up a seat on the floor. The room must have had a magic spell on it because an hour and forty five minutes later we were still there on the floor, spilling our guts to each other as if we were at a slumber party. It couldn't have been any more amazing if there had been a wardrobe in the corner full of fur coats and a lamp post. There we sat in a CHURCH, of all places, being REAL and HONEST about our ISSUES!

That definitely put a spring in my step.

And then church @ two freakin' o'clock wasn't half bad. In fact it was really gooooood. But then living in my ward is like living in an episode of Sponge Bob. Even the boy who tried to choke my son during Sunday School is endearing once you realize he's just playing his role on the set of an underwater cartoon world. The fact that's he's never been allowed to trick-or-treat and his mom hangs a sign on the door during Christmas that says Santa, please don't stop here just gives his character more depth and dimension.

Church just got better and better, and by the time Young Women's was over I no longer felt guilty that my bathrooms are dirty and that I have no interest in having a baby every year and home schooling my 17 children while recreating a live nativity on wheels.

I just felt so sorry for all of you who are not the YW Prez in the Sponge Bob ward. Best gig ever!

Not trying to rub it in that I am seriously more blessed than you.

Just saying.

As the cherry on top of a very sweet day, Lord of the Rings was finishing their weekend marathon so me and the hub and the kids all snuggled on the couch and watched it until our necks were stiff and our backs ached.

I LUB LUB LUB Lord of the Rings. It's one of the greatest stories ever told. Who doesn't want to give Samwise Gamgee a huge shaka brah? And Gandolf too, and Strider and Sting and Merry and Pippen and of course, Frodo. Dear, dear Frodo.

These characters are like old, dear friends to me because my mom and dad read the entire series to my siblings and I when we were children. One of the only fond memories I have of my dad is him filling my childhood with these brave, magical creatures who faced unimaginable obstacles with courage and heart and sacrificed everything for the cause.

Mahalo, Daddy!

I got the same charge I always get when Strider raises his sword before leading the troops into battle against the orcs and cries FOR FRODO!

And when Sam carries Frodo up the mountain to destroy the ring.


And when the dead show up to help the living fight their battles.


I lub it when the dead show up to help the living fight their battles.

It was fitting that I ended the holiday season and began the new year in Middle Earth because it turned my mind to the stuff that life (and death) are made of.

And to a letter I recently found that my dad wrote to me on December 25th, 1981, three months before he died.

My Dear Daughter,

I love yo so much. . . . your mom and I felt very close to you while you were in the pre-existence--and now we are together again on the earth. But even tho' we are together our memory of our former life and love together has been erased. For some reason you and I have not been as close as I would have had it be--but the day will come when our father will give us our memory back and we'll know and love each other again so much. . . . I will love you always and if I can ever help you someday I will try to do it.

With all my love,

Daddy


Shucks.
I've always felt kinda cheated that he never did help me someday.

But maybe it's not too late. Maybe someday is now!

Or maybe it's been someday all along, and I was just too dumb to get it.


Anyways, cheers to Someday!


35 comments:

Heidi Ashworth said...

This was pure poetry. (Sorry I haven't been around much (i.e. at all)--it's absolutely nothing personal--I have been neglecting everyone pretty much equally--cuz I'm all about fairness in all things.) My new years resolution is to get back in touch with my wonderful blog friends. Love you!

ellen said...

I go to church at 2pm. It's way better than 3:30pm (Midnight Mass). The best part is that I have ward council (etc.) at 8:30am. Go figure.

Jillybean said...

Our church time just changed to 9:00.
In the a.m.
I guess it's better than when we were at 3:00 and we were nursery leaders.

At least you now have a secret room at church. Maybe you could meet there with your friends instead of going to Sunday School ;0)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

We are @ 11:00 am now like all good church go'ers should be!

I have only watched LOTR once and couldn't do it again. But for the time I watched them I kinda enjoyed them???

I'm sorry Martha left a draft in your heart... I was living vicariously through your fun fun fun days!

Lubs you guys!

Anjeny said...

Our ward starts at eight and my daughter Jen has been bragging about it on facebook about how we were early to church...as if all the other times we've been early didn't count. She forgot that three years ago, we had sacrament meeting at eight in the morning and since I was the chorister, I had to drag them to church thirty minutes early, a couple of the boys would show up with half of their church ensemble missing...LOL.

Dang, if I have to go to church at two in the afternoon, I'll go inactive...LOL..kidding but seriously, two in the afternoon is way too late in the church to attend any meetings, don't you think?

I'm sorry Martha left and left a draft in your heart and that letter from your dad totally brought tears to my eyes. Happy New Year, Deb.

Sandi said...

I have never sat through or read the LOTR. Can we still be bosom friends? I'm glad your dad gave you something really good to remember! that counts for something, for sure.
I can't believe Martha left a draft in your heart- did she also get mad at you for not returning something? haha. Looks like you guys had a blast, that is SO cool that she got to come and visit. I'm going to send KK over there to meet her PRONTO. I'm thinking that having Martha in your corner is probably a good thing!
the secret room sounds pretty cool- I really am curious to know what kind of issues were shared in there! We get to go to church at 11:30 and we once again have peace in my house on Sunday mornings..hooray!

DeNae said...

Oh, my goodness, where to start? Maybe in reverse order:

1) You break my heart a little every time you talk about your dad. I'm sorry you didn't get the fairy tale. If it's any consolation, neither did I.

2) And I am a LOTR junkie!! I love those battle scenes; they make the Jaredite and Nephite/Lamanite battles just that much easier to imagine.

3) I think you don't qualify for the balcony seats in the Celestial Kingdom unless you've lived in at least one SpongeBob ward. The "no santas allowed" mother should be flogged.

4) With a family the size of the Duggars I imagine they had to invent some nativity extras ("and the Christmas Avon Lady did arrive with Saint Pillsbury Dough Boy...")

5) And finally, isn't it wonderful to have friends you love so much, they leave a little 'them-shaped' hole whenever they're away?

The Garden of Egan said...

I am so glad you were able to watch LOTR all together. It is the truest show on earth.
I'm sorry your church is at 2:00. We started at 9:00 yesterday and I just think the church is truer at 9:00!
Hope the hole in your drafty heart closes soon.
HUGS!

sarahlynn said...

OOOOWWWWWW!!! Talk about tugging on a cold heart...that was a beautiful post. Actually, they all are, even the light hearted ones. I seem to always learn to look at life differerently after reading your writing. The details of life suddenly matter a bit more and make life a little sweeter.

Thanks for helping me open my eyes every few days when it's so much easier to keep them shut up tight. It's such a fun, delicious treat to sit down and get caught up with you when I see a new post from you.

So, don't stop writing. You have such talent and you are my Samwise (with less hairy feet..oh, and taller..but just barely :p) for fifteen sweet minutes while I read your blog.

Thanks for that.

Sarah

Stephen said...

Definitely one of my favorite family memories, is the time we spent reading The Hobbit and the Triology. Thanks for the reminder.

Kelly said...

awesome! i looooovvvve lord of the rings too! my mother worked in the public school system and so on teacher workdays we'd go to the school with her; i usually ended up in the library and that's how i discovered tolkien. i spent most of the day sprawled out on the floor on a back row of stacks with my head propped on the bottom shelf completely immersed in this fantastic parallel world of an england before written history. it's funny how things work out-i read the chronicles of narnia in 2nd grade and then the lord of the rings in the 3rd, so those two series just seem to be inextricably intertwined in my mind for some reason. fast forward a dozen years or so and i have this continuing obsession with c.s. lewis and i find out that he dedicated the screwtape letters to j.r.r. tolkien! how awesome is that?! apparently they were very good friends and their long, late night conversations on the metaphysical were some of the things which led to lewis' conversion to christianity. so, yes! i want to have a flashback! those were the good days, right?

IWA (e - va) said...

I loved this post, have i ever told you that your writing is brilliant!

Hah! Our's starts at 2pm also. I was pretty bitter until i slept in yesterday til after 10am, slowly made breakfast, then slowly got dressed and then made it to most of church! and even though church is at 2pm, i still got there late ...during sacrament song... everyone was giving me weird looks as i walked in and I thought they were judging me, but then i turned around and my 10 yr old had on dark glasses and a skirt im sure she found in the freebie bin! haha!

Sandi said...

you guys are getting pretty deep....we are NOT in the secret room at the church you know!! haha jk

T said...

church is at 1:30 here... kinda sucks rocks if you ask me - but nobody did :(

when I lived in Provo as a newlywed our ward was at 3:00 - with sacrament meeting LAST on the bill... SO glad I didn't have any kids back then!!!

Like Heidi my resolution is to show up more often - look how good I'm doing already!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I'm so happy to hear everyone's church schedule. Thanks guys. ;)

Actually I'm kinda surprised how many people go to church late in the day. I thought it was shocking, but it's actually commonplace. (is that one word?)

Thank you kindly everyone who called me brilliant or wise or poetic. I needed that today. Seriously.

It's so good to see so many old friends and new friends in here tonight.

ANNOUNCEMENT: PLEASE DO NOT MAKE RESOLUTIONS TO DROP BY MORE OFTEN. I hate those kinds of resolutions. It's like dieting. I don't like the thought of people disciplining themselves to come read my blog. ha ha

But I do love seeing you here so instead of resolving to come, come because you need a delightful break. Like Sarahlynn said. THANK YOU Sarah Lynn. Lub you!

Me and Sarah Lynn go back and back. We're real life friends and we're trying to arrange a marriage between our oldest children so we can be related someday.

Ha ha Sandi, maybe we are in the secret room at chruch. What happens in the secret room STAYS in the secret room. hee hee

But seriously if you want to know what the issues were I'll tell you. They ranged from personal progress to Old YW leaders to plural marriage.

ha ha IWA. I am always late no matter what time church starts either. And my kids are usually looking scraggly too.

OMGOSH KELLY, Ditto! Except third grade? WHOA girl. Your intellect beats my intellect by a few years. I was in third grade in this photo with my dad. But I too loved both Tolkien and Lewis and am still fascinated by C.S. Lewis and everything he writes. I love that he and Tolkien were good friends. High FIVE girlfriend. A new soulmate.

Ha ha about Garden bearing her testimony of LOTR. And DeNae is so right about it bringing the BOM to life. LUB YOU!

LUB YOU SHELLE AN ANJENY AND JILLY BEAN AND MISS HEIDI. It feels like old times today.

And hey Ellen, you've got the worst of both worlds. Ward council at 8:30 a.m.? Is your bishop insane?

Kritta22 said...

Wow! That's a pretty powerful letter from your dad.

Have you ever thought that maybe he is one of the guys running behind you, fighting with you??

Just a thought.

Kritta22 said...

You know like that picture up there with that one guy.

I thought I was the only chick that liked LOTR's.

Kritta22 said...

my church time is at 9am...I'm not a fan.

BUT we only have two wards in our building SOOOO 51 more weeks until 11am again.

Kritta22 said...

They have a playground in our nursery...Connor has already bonked his head.

Kritta22 said...

i got called to play the piano in primary! So I get to use the hymn book and the other fun book! Best of both worlds!

Kritta22 said...

Okay I gotta go play adult, and pay bills online! i heart you bunches.

Sandi said...

hahaha about knowing everybody's church time. funny that we all made sure you knew. I hope you can keep track of that now. I'm sure you will need that information at some point.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha Yes, Sandi, I'm quite sure I will need that information at some point. Like if I don't get rich and famous and need to break into their houses to pay my bills.

Ah Kritta, I'm so happy to see you again. How is your health and your pregnancy going? That image you planted in my brain made my eyes sweat just a tiny bit. Mahalo!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow it really is like a reunion here with Kritta being all Krittalike, huh? Lubs to everyone. And lubs to you and your secret room, and the fact that you are pretty and witty and wise and poetic and more even still. I love it here. I love that I found you all and you have added to my life.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ah Nutty, HUGS! I LUB that you found me here too. I'll never forget how I thought you were my first stalker and I didn't know if you were male or female. It was all so exciting. LUB YOU MUCH! You have added to my life.

Kritta22 said...

LOL being all Krittalike...love it!

Kritta22 said...

My pregnancy is wonderful! Baby is growing happy and healthy...that's the important part!

My health is a different story. I have to have IVIG every two weeks, about. When my platelets get low, I get more nausea and alot slower.

Kritta22 said...

I mahalo you too, Crash!

The Mom said...

You are my favorite writer.

Randy bought me the David Archuleta Christmas CD on your recommendation. I don't want to marry him, but that is one sweet voice.

Happy New Year!

Martha said...

If you guys would just move back here then we won't have to shut the door anymore, and there's no drafts. I'm warm again. My kids didn't want to come back and wanted to stay with you guys forever.

The new neighbor boy started playing that song Hey, Soul Sister that your kids were playing and I yelled out, "Hey, dude, that's our song. We found it first from our old x door neighbors".

I ought to be paying bills too after all the money I spent in Utah. Sorry Perry. Good thing I worked 11 hours yesterday.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I love church, no matter the time. I mean, since that's what the day is all about. :-)

(says the girl that lives in GA and doesn't share the building so it's always 10AM)

Nah, I lived in Utah, I remember. But oddly enough, I never minded. Unless it was at 8 AM. :-)

Every time you write about your dad.... ohmeohmy.

And I got a letter to my 16 year old self for Christmas. One I didn't remember writing. OHMYHeavens!!! That's all I can say. I am not as smart as you, I can't make something good out of it and surely can't write something clever about it. :-/

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

(wait, the letter my 16 year old self wrote was not to me, to my kids)


Woops.

April said...

I'm just catching up on posts...and it sounds like both Martha and your dad left the door open on their way out. I'm glad you have good memories of both. Now if you are in the Sponge Bob ward, I am curious as to whom is playing the role of Patrick. I know who plays the role of Patrick in our family and we mock him terribly. He is 4. hahahaha!!!

LiafromLaie said...

Well if your single and in Laie... like I am... church at 2pm is reality. I can't imagine the singles ward being put into the rotation with the other wards in the Stake Center. I think the other wards would revolt! But I gotta say as a single adult the ability to sleep in on a Sunday is glorious. LOL!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Lia, heaven forbid the singles take precedence over the doubles!