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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

You can lead a horse to Theraflu, but you cannot make him drink.

 (Or make her drink, as is the case with my horse.) 

(Or, if I'm being completely precise, as is the case with my daughter.)

My daughter hates Theraflu with as much passion as I hate cleaning bathrooms. She won't even let the vile substance enter her holy temple of a body, even if she's coughing like a maniac. 

But no matter, Theraflu only works on that sissy flu bug anyway. If your lungs start flirting with those nasty pneumonia viruses or infectious bronchial bacteria, it's pointless, even hypocritical, to drink Theraflu. And don't bother rubbing Vicks on your feet either (no matter how emphatically I bear my testimony of it's truthfulness). Cough drops, hot baths, humidifiers and inhalers don't have a chance against those bad boys either. And forget about drinking Q-tussin, or herbal tea or saimin soup or home-made banana smoothies laced with orange honey.

Even if you pull out the big guns, Promethazine with Codeine, and threaten to blow your daughter's hacker assailant into the next century, it will do you little good.

(Unless you have a Zpac to back it up.) 

It's just so much better not to let your lungs hang out with the wrong crowd in the first place.

That's what I always say.

I told my daughter, "If your lungs had just remembered who they are and what they stand for none of this ever would have happened!"

That being said, I'm a tad bit melancholy now that her lungs have gone through the repentance process and she's back in school. 

Is it bad that I enjoyed pretending we were the Gilmore girls--just the two of us watching the America's Next Top Model cycle 12 marathon and 27 Dresses and making magic soup and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream by the fire? 

I hope you don't get the wrong idea. It wasn't all fun and games. I did accomplish a few things while my daughter's lungs were receiving redemption. I took down the Christmas tree. 

Which means Christmas is officially over

In other words, the long and dreary winter has officially begun. 

In other words, the winter of my discontent starts NOW.

Bring on the discontent and depression, Mr. Universe! 

I double dog dare you!

(Probly shouldn't be tempting fate like that, huh?)

Anyways, I can't believe I never showed you my Hawaiian Christmas tree before I took it down!!! 

But I really can't think about that today.  I'll think about that tomorrow.  

After all, tomorrow is another day . . .

13 comments:

LiafromLaie said...

Awww... the thought of bringing down a Christmas tree always makes me sad in side.

Glad to hear your daughter is doing better. My sister has a firm belief that cold/flu/cough medicines somehow make you feel even worse than the regular cold.

OldBoatGuy said...

Hmmmm, my cold remidy is elder berry and de-bad-breathed-garlic. Haven't had a cold for 4 or 5 years.

The Garden of Egan said...

You should listen to OldBoatGuy, sounds like a surefire winner to the sinning lungs.

April said...

What if you poured the Theraflu down her throat while she was sleeping? Sure she would choke for a little bit, but I'm sure she would forgive you once the trauma wore off.

IWA (e - va) said...

LOL @ april! hahahaha!

So through out this which character did you treat your husband like? Luke?... Christopher? ....Michel? I bet Michel would have been fun, if he played a long with the accent!

Im laughing inside.. Not at you of course!... just at the fact that you're really trying to tempt the universe again!

PS... BYUH is having a Julie and Julia night-Cooking Contest.. eerytime I see a sign on campus, i think of you!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Iwa, I can't believe I am not there for the Julie and Julia cook off!! You know I would have won. ;)

Ha ha, I treated my husband like Luke of course. Although he didn't treat me like Lorelai because he CAN'T stand her and thinks she talks way too much and says the while show is totally scripted.

hee hee

Old Boat Guy, elderberry and garlic, eh? LOL. Maybe you weren't paying attention, but she was past the pansy cold stage. She was into the hard core pneumonia stage. Zpac is kicking it though.

Although I think Garden has a point, any sinner should be subject to garlic, for the bad-breath alone.

Lia, true that, about the Christmas tree part. sigh. I'll write about that today.

April, I didn't do that, but I did force her at gunpoint a few times. She practically threw up, though, the big baby. ;)

Sandi said...

haha I love how you just called out the old boat guy! what is up with hub's not liking Loralai/Gilmore Girls? I think I'm going to treat my hub like Kirk today. Yep. Just for fun.

Homer and Queen said...

You know if you drink enough Nyquil you won't even remember you are sick!!!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I feel like Kirk with how many different jobs I keep doing. 8 more days til my probation from 10 hour work days. Wahoo! Miss all of you terribly.

OldBoatGuy said...

Does LOL stand for "laughing out loud", or "lots of luck"?

I idea is to PREVENT the cold.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Nutty, you look like Kirk juggling all those different jobs in that profile pic o' yours. ;)

You're not working shifts at the furniture store are you? I thought you got bounced for that job for coming out of the closet with you feelings about coming out of the closet!

OBG, prevention/shmevention. Prevention doesn't make for good blog posts.

OldBoatGuy said...

Since when when were you appointed blog post marshal?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I was bounced from one job there, but I found another one, which is so much better, other than the long hours we are putting in this week. I will be lots of mula when it is done. One of those times when a door closed and a window opens, ya know. So now I get to make more money for nicer people who do not want to question me about my closet issues. win win. But I have had a difficult time dealing with the change, as I am a creature of habit.