Friday, January 8, 2010

You know what's weird . . .

All the prozac commercials during David Letterman.

Isn't that like promoting your competition? I mean, where is his faith in himself? He IS the prozac.

And you know what else is weird? My twins are reading a book. The other night I couldn't get twin #1 to go to bed because he was glued to this book. The next day twin #2 stayed home from school sick, picked up the same book and read all day. And then this morning I had to yell "GET TO SCHOOL!" because he was standing at the front door with his backpack slung across his shoulders, READING. Now they're bickering about who gets more time with the book.

Mahalo Rick Riordan and Percy Jackson!

And another weird thing--my bathrooms are clean. The rest of my house is a mess, but my bathrooms are clean, which means my 2010 Bucket List is accomplished.

Now what am I going to do with the rest of my year?

But you wanna know the weirdest thing of all?

In order for me to tell you I'll have to do something I've never done before. I'll have to poke fun at something. And that something would be the beet diggers.

(Bless my heart, and theirs.)

Is it just me or as a school mascot do beet diggers fail to make your heart pound and your pulse race? I've never seen a beet digger yet with the eye of the tiger.

Luckily their school is bee-U-tiful and is located in a hip area--I would move there myself if I wasn't allergic to beets.

Luckily their school is clever too. They try to make lemonade out of lemons by creating t-shirts that say things like, "Just Beet It," and "I'm a dead-beet" and my personal favorite, "please don't beet me."

But still, I think they are having an identity crisis. Are they beets or are they beet diggers? It's hard to tell sometimes.

Don't you think a better logo would be: Champions Aren't Born . . . They're Grown.

Or hows about: Champions Aren't Born . . . They're Picked.

Get it? Beets are grown . . . and picked? (ba dum bum)

(Did I just underestimate your intelligence?)

I don't know why this beet-head is Disco dancing, but at least he looks mean. I'll give him that.

I was sitting in the Beet Digger gym not two days ago, watching my daughter play basketball and thinking to myself, "aw, look at that sweet old man painted on the gym wall, bent over with his pickaxe, pulling up those beets. He looks like the kinda guy I could sit on my front porch and talk story with until the cows come home."

But that's now what I'm s'pose to be thinking during an athletic competition. I need that sweet old man to rise up and raise his pickaxe over his head with a crazed look in his eye. Better yet, he should swap his pickaxe for a sickle so we can all tremble as we wonder whether or not he's going to thrust in his sickle with all his heart, might, mind and strength.

Even if they keep the pickaxe, the beet diggers desperately need a mascot makeover.

Something like this:

Ya get me?

Or do you think I'm weird?


Jami said...

Uh, yeah. Wimpy mascot. They don't need a makeover, they need the wimpy mascot protection program.

robin said...

When I first heard of the Beet Diggers I thought "what the what?" actually I didn't because I hadn't heard that expression yet but you get the idea.

I was confused why someone would chose such a mascot so I'm in agreement that a coolness upgrade is in order.

The Garden of Egan said...

They seriously are beet diggers? Really?
I thought that the Horned Toads playing the Boise State Broncos were laughable. But they were proud with their scary pointy fingers like a horn. So I guess your beet diggers can be something to be scared of. I do like your intepretation.
Yes I get you
Yes I think you are weird....

in the sweetest way possible.

Sandi said...

Yes we think you are weird!
what a crappy mascot, I can't imagine how they ever got that to pass the school-board or whoever chooses such things. Seriously WEIRD! Here in AZ, the Scottsdale Community College mascot is the Artichokes. what the what???
p.s. whats the name of this very exciting book?

robin said...

You know, this got me thinking about other school names... really to distract me from the kids arguing about their toys... so I googled weird school mascots and came up with some fun ones like..

Santa Cruz Banana Slugs
Wabash Little Giants (make up your minds people... are you little... or big???)
Whittier Poets (not very intimidating)
and my favorite...

Delta State Fighting Okra

Okra doesn't seem very intimidating but if you add the word fighting... watch out world!!! That there's some nasty okra!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

LOL! Artichokes and Okras! But the best is banana slugs. hahahahaha

That takes the cake. That makes beet diggers look cool.

Those poor poor banana slugs.

Ha ha Jami about the wimpy mascot protection program.

Okay Sandi, the book is the Percy Jackson series. The Lightening Thief. I think the movie comes out next month. It will be a first that my twins have actually read a book before the movie. My mom blew through the whole series in a few days. All five books. She loved it. That's why I thought I'd give it a try.

Barbaloot said...

First off--I LOVE the Percy Jackson books so much! My nephew introduced them to me a couples years ago...maybe I re-read the entire series last week. Maybe I introduced my 28 year-old male friend to them and he likes them more than me!

Second---Jordan had the option to change their mascot, and guess what? They kept it!! I think they had a momentary nostalgic lapse in judgement. It was sweet for a minute, and then they remember, we're STILL the beet diggers. Too late now---it's their own fault.

LiafromLaie said...

Happy New Year! I figured it was time to start commenting on your blog since I keep lurking here :)

I <3 Percy Jackson! My sister got me reading them and now, just like Harry Potter and Fablehaven, I tell everyone they HAVE TO READ THEM!

As for the mascot, to each his own I guess. I don't think I could ever proudly say, "I'm a Beet Digger". Possibly out of fear that people would actually think that were my occupation.

Martha said...

Swirl is doing bookclub on those books next month, so we better get with the program and start reading. But, Jim read your blog the other night for reading homework, so I don't know which he should read, Lightning Thief or CTD. Huhmmmm.

Hope twin W feels better. He was chatting with me on facebook. See he's learning how to type by being on facebook so it's a good thing.

Annette Lyon said...

My girls adore Percy Jackson.

I've laughed at the beet diggers since high school. I mean really, who came up with THAT? Even the Lehi Pioneers, sad at THAT is, aren't as bad.

And yes, you are weird. But not because of the Pick Ax thing. "Weird" is a compliment.

Sandi said...

I am so out of touch on this Percy Jackson thing. I better get my butt to the library! a whole series in a week sounds like something I could handle. Of course I could never be as good as your MIL so I wont set my goals so lofty.
Martha, you just have no idea how much I love the fact that your kid gets school credit for reading this blog- that is the best thing ever!
wv= exampl. HMMMM.

Amber Lynae said...

I can't make much stink about wimpy mascots. My high school mascot was a........ bee. Yeah those annoying things that fly around and make honey. IT wasn't even the Killer bees. Just bees. Our band was the Busy Bee band and the dancers were the Honey Bees.

Oh well.

Jami said...

My sister was actually at UCSC when they voted for their banana slugs, totally sliming the competition. You gotta admit--they are kinda scary in a freaky kind of way.

Jami said...

On Percy Jackson, avoid the audio version. The narrator made all that cool stuff sound stupid. And his girl voices suck.

DeNae said...

Utah is the master of crappy mascots. The Delta Rabbits. The Lehi Pioneers. I myself was a Granger Lancer, and was dang happy to be one.

Tiffany said...

Hey, I am reading all of the "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" books. I just finished the first. Love them.

Rebecca said...

Yes, the father in law was their basketball coach up until 3 years ago when their ridiculous athletic director decided to give him the boot. Anyway, it is a BEE-U-TI-FUL school alright, but it still doesn't make up for dumb athletic directors doing dumb things (and believe me this isn't the first thing...) Now, my father in law coaches at Cottonwood, which has a much better mascot for his liking anyway! He is a 6'6" basketball loving COWBOY! Thankfully, Cottonwood's mascot is the COLTS. Hopefully, the athletic director here will like him, and hopefully he won't get too many technicals and get kicked out of the games :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Rebecca, I hate AD's with attitude. Here's hoping your dad will be a better colt!

Jami, sliming the competition. LOL. Can't believe those banana slugs made that choice! HONESTLY! Were they stoned?


ha ha Amber, you were a busy bee and a honey bee. Did you know my real name actually mean honey bee!

Annette, I love your new profile pic. You look so pretty.

Thanks everyone for saying I'm weird. That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me.

Jami said...

Of course they were stoned. Santa. Cruz.

(Not my sis of course. She's anti-drug, even tho she's a pagan.)