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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Not Kissing (and Telling)

I really wish American Idol hadn't ended with that pants on the ground song. That's the kind of song pre-teen boys take literally. Especially MY pre-teen boys.

That's the kinda song that gets stuck on replay. (Or as Sean Kingston would say, gets stuck on your plate.) (wink wink).

I gotta feeling it's gonna to be an embarrassing family reunion this summer. Almost as embarrassing as when my kids performed Check the Poo for talent night last year. And definitely more embarrassing than when they performed White and Nerdy at the Christmas party this year.




I think maybe we lived in Hawaii too long.


Speaking of white and nerdy, yesterday I was watching the Duggars. Oh my goodness, the Duggars are like a train wreck, aren't they? You just can't look away because it's all so oddly intriguing. You just feel so thankful you're not them, and yet somewhere deep down you wish you were them.

Ya get me?

I watched the episode where Josh Duggar gets engaged, but takes a vow of chastity on his lips and commits not to kiss his bride until his wedding day.

What the what????????????????????

It's sweet (and weird) that they are keeping their lips pure for each other, but they should be worried about their fingers. I have never seen such heated hand holding in my entire life. I almost looked away, but instead I yelled, "Get a room for your phalangies!"

Ironically, last night at Young Women's I was talking story with my Laurels and guess what beans they spilled? They're all upstanding members of the virgin lips club.

Alls except one.

What the what??????????????????????????

No wonder the depression rate is so high in Utah!

Call me Lucy goosey, but I was sealing things with a kiss when I was thirteen. (In a good way, of course.)

To their credit, my Laurels haven't taken a vow of lip chastity, they just haven't had the opportunity because boys these days are so dumb. Either that or they're too busy singing songs about poo or pants on the ground. Those kind of songs can be time consuming.


At least I've got some good ideas for my upcoming Young Women/Young Men combined activies: Truth or Dare. Spin the Bottle. Two Minutes in the Closet.

Maybe the bishop really was inspired to call me to this position.


Mwuaaahahahaha . . .


38 comments:

Sandi said...

Those Laurels are SO going to score!

Sandi said...

Do you think making out was an 80's thing? Cuz I was definitely on that bus.

Sandi said...

Maybe I need to move to Utah. My almost 16 year old is following my bus.

Sandi said...

I can't believe you have not shared those talent show home videos with us..they sound amazing- especially check the poo!
p.s. I have never watched the Duggars...should I? I'm not sure I can handle the passionate phalangies.

Barbaloot said...

Sounds like I could've used you as my YW leader back in the day:) Don't tell your sister-in-law I said that...she WAS my YW leader! (And honestly, one of the best ever. She was/is amazing.)

springrose said...

I think making out definately was an 80's thing since my Hubby confessed to me he kissed more than 17 girls. He can't remeber the exact number. Hello!!!! I only kissed two guys, my Husband is one of them. He graduated from High School in 1989. SO I definately think it's an 80's thing. But hey at least you know there are no morality issues, I hope! I mean if they aren't kissing you hope they aren't doing other things. You know it's not sex if you only do...

springrose said...

Should I trash that last comment from myself?

Don said...

Dang! I wish you'd been around to plan the YM/YW activities when I was a teen.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Okay wait! Kissing is not a universal language? It was a fad. A cultural phenom?

So thankful I grew up in the 80s.

Don, didn't you grow up in Laie? Was there no kissing in Laie either?

Sandi, I should figure out a way to get that check the poo video on-line.

Have you seen scrubs? Okay, I'm going to add the link to the episode that inspired my boys to perform check the poo.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Actually Sandi, I'll post the whole story tomorrow.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

hahahahahha! I was VL until I was 18!!! I had no idea the happiness and joy being an easy lip sealer was... I will jump on your wagon of letting the teens know what must come before marriage... and that is lip fornication! :) hehehe

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Lip fornication?? hahahahahahahaha

The Garden of Egan said...

Wow, those lucky Laurels! They have all kinds of things to look forward to with you being their fearless leader!
Awesome!

Jillybean said...

I think it sounds like you're trying to get released from your calling?
When I was 16, we had a Sunday School teacher who didn't want to teach the group of kids that would be in his class the year after us, so he took us out for doughnuts every Sunday in hopes that it would get him released from his calling.

I had VL until I was 19. It was quite sad, actually.

Tiffany said...

I agree! Teenagers should be kissing! It's their density! I mean, their destiny!

Martha said...

Back in the 80's my YW leaders didn't go into any detail about what you could or could not do. Maybe that's why two of our Laurels got pregnant. I guess they were kissing too much.

IWA (e - va) said...

Those poor Laurels... I say give um some pillows and tell um to start practicing!

Mother Duggar... is so happy all the time... its irritating! really! even when she's pregnant... I really want to see her go off on her kids, so that she seems normal! and the daughter in law..... I would hate to be pregnant at the same time as my MIL!

Martha... Why is someone else bidding on your house when you live it? If they bid higher, do you get kicked out and they move in.. or do you continue living there and pay them rent???? I think they're lying to you, so that you make a higher bid!

iMaLLheaRt said...

I was a VL until I was 22 or was it 21?
and the Duggars, HOW the heck can they AFFORD all those kids! BEFORE the TV deals?! At least now the kids are dressing better and less like they were stuck in the 80's/90's.

Martha said...

Well Iwa, don't tell but we made an offer on another house. The neighborhood just isn't the same without Crash and fam so why stay?

Martha said...

Today is Rachel's birthday. Tomorrow is a furlough day so we get a 4 day weekend.

Melanie J said...

Oh, yeah. I'm betting that deep inside, the bishop is super happy he picked you right now. Or else this is a real trial of his faith. One of the two...

DeNae said...

Wow. Virgin lips. Does it count if your first kiss was from a guy who turned out to be gay? What about the second? Don't panic; the third one was straight -- and I married him!

(moral of the story: don't date fellow music majors...)

LiafromLaie said...

I've never been kissed and I've always been ok with that fact.

I'm pretty sure if I wanted to I could have found some boy to practice with but it never seemed to be a priority with me.

I must say never being kissed always gives me an advantage in the singles ward when we play the game, "I've never...".

April said...

I had a LV Laurel Leader and she espoused the virtue from the stand. I just rolled my eyes and licked my lips...cause I'd already been kissed and oh never mind!

Skeet said...

Funny you should mention "weirdo pre-teen boys". Our whole family was laughing soooo hard at "pants on the ground" that I'm pretty sure Simon could hear us through the TV. Then, when it was over all the boys proceeded to perform their renditions of the song.(And I do mean ALL the boys...Dan!) Is it bad that I want to live out my American Idol Dream through my children? I keep telling them, they only have 4, 5, and 6 years to get it together for tryouts:)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee Skeet. I can visualize it. I am such an American Idol addict too. I've been so excited for it to start. And no, it's not bad that you want to live vicariously through your children. ;) You can sing and dan can sing. That must mean your boys can sing. I can't wait until they become rich and famous.

April, are you serious??? ha ha

Lia, are you serious?? ha ha (how cute)

DeNae, are you serious?? ha ha ha ha ha I've been on several tours with music majors so I get ya! The girls would always flirt with my hub and the boys would always flirt with my hub. (wink wink) But you didn't hear it from me.

Melanie, let's hope the bishop never finds this blog.

KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Rachel! And happy four day weekend Martha!

High Five Iwa and Carol (I'm all heart) about those Duggars. I would pay $100 to see Michelle Duggar lose her temper. Carol, I remember when you started dated your hub. Was he your first? Were you VL when you were in Alan's ward?

IWA (e - va) said...

Martha which house... still in your ward boundries... There are actually a lot of houses for sale in Laie right now! Also.. we sang to rachel in math today! I told her jaunary babies are the best, because im a january baby, and we are the best! haha!

Crash... VL til 13... were you holding out? haha! does T know that?


deNae... too funny!

Sandi said...

Had to read comments before I went to bed and I am laughing so hard at Lia and Danae that I wish I would have stayed away because now I'm never going to get to sleep!
Good work ladies!

April said...

You can't make stuff like that up! And besides that teacher helped me perfect the talent of rolling my eyes for when I had kids! I swear she reminded us EVERY class that her and the hubby were holding out til "over the alter".

April said...

Sandi never mentioned how old she was when she lost her virgin lips. :)

Amanda said...

Thank you April! I've been scanning the comments trying to figure out what VL stood for. Every time VL popped up my mind
was reading VD LOL

Sandi said...

Older than you might think April dear :)

Don said...

From what I hear, there was kissing in Laie. I was one of those stupid boys that lacked the confidence to go get me some. That's why an organized activity would have helped.

What lip-locking I did get during the decade took place primarily in Kahuku. The girls in that town are just a little more aggressive, I guess.

Sandi said...

hahahaa this has turned into a kissing confessional.
no lie...this is the WV= greedlyp. you know, like apparantly Crash had a greed in her lyps.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I feel like a prude. Not cause I didn't do lotsa kissin' as a Laurel, but because I REALLY REALLY hope my daughter who will be a Laurel next month doesn't.

This conversation reminds me of the (vintage) Heaven to Betsy books-

"Then he kissed her. Betsy didn't believe in letting boys kiss you. She thought it was silly to be letting first this boy and then that one kiss you, when it didn't mean a thing. But it was wonderful when Joe Willard kissed her. And it did mean a thing."

LOVE it. :-)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha about the greedy lyp. That's is a classic. And LoW, how cute that you shared your Heaven to Betsy with us.

And that's why I lub you, because you're prude-y and vintage-y, and yet you did lotsa kissing when you were a Laurel. ;)

I'd love to keep chatting about kissing, but I just had a super embarrasing moment that I need to blog about.

Tiffany said...

I worked hard to be a VL at 16 in Utah, I almost made it too, if it wasnt for that darn couples skate at Classic Rink.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

oh no, my not quite 16 year old daughter was skating at Classic Rink for four hours on Saturday night.


EEEek!

Maybe I should just take the YM/YW skating.

Oh, my goodness, my verifier say psyclow. Sorry Low, my verifier is calling you crazy.