Sunday, January 10, 2010

Psychiatric Help $6

The coolest thing about selling oranges in the dead of winter (besides the notoriety and getting rich quick) is that you get to meet a lot of interesting people.  

The kind of people who will stop to buy oranges in the dead of winter are just interesting people by nature.  

Well rounded, if you will.

We've met all kinds of people from all kinds of places--Lehi, American Fork, Alpine, Provo, Orem . . . helk, we've even met people from all the way out to Payson.  

A lot of Californians drop by too because they, of all people, know that California Oranges are like liquid candy . . . with pulp. 
Not only do people come from far and wide to buy oranges, they also come to tell interesting stories, or to ask interesting questions. Like yesterday a couple of fellas pulled up in a pimped out, souped up Mustang and asked me if we sold honey.  I said yes. "Is it the kind of honey that bees make?" they asked.

Another guy with long hair and a beard asked me if I was a Mormon. I nodded my head. 

"But are you a true Mormon?" 

"What's a true Mormon?" I asked. 

"Are you judgemental?" 

"Of course not!" I said pulling out my scissors, "but I don't sell oranges to any man whose hair is below his collar."  

Not discriminating, just making the world a more aesthetically pleasing place to eat oranges.

Other people who stop to buy oranges just need someone to talk to. They might be coming from the hospital where their hub has been on life support for ten years because he fell out of an apricot tree. Or maybe they just came from their sister's wedding where their truck was repossessed.  Or maybe their albino dog is pregnant or their nosy neighbors just called social services on them for subjecting their kids to second hand smoke. And whodda thought fresh California oranges could be like chicken soup for the soul? 

Other people who stop just want to buy oranges.  They're not interested in stumping the dummy or sharing their burdens or getting their hair cut.

We strive to meet the needs of all our customers so we have recently added a little somethin' somethin' to our orange stand sign.  It looks a little somethin' somethin' like this: 

Everyone needs a good psychiatrist.  That's what I always say.  However, blame it on inflation and the recession, our Psychiatric help costs $6. 

But then we throw in a hair cut and a bag of oranges for free. 


Jami said...

I've been wondering how Project Orange was going. Where are you getting these CA oranges anyhow? Surely not CA, because you wouldn't come to CA without visiting moi! (Would you?)

California Cuties (clementines and madarins) are liquid candy supreme (with pulp). You could charge $10 for your psychiatric help if you threw in a bag of CA-Cuties. Maybe even $15. Mm-mm good!

The Garden of Egan said...

I'll be by in a bit to get my oranges.
If you leave a can, I'll get my own so I don't break the Sabbath cause I know how you are all judgey about that kind of stuff.
By the way, my boyfriend loved the haircut you gave him....he looks almost spiritual.

DeNae said...

You know what I get from all of this orange selling business? You are a good mom.

Amber Lynae said...

I was once sitting in a Beto's (which I hear is no longer called Beto's) and a could of guys came up to my friends and I to chat. They asked if we were mormon. Why yes yes we are. They said they were too. Oh that is nice we have something in common. Then they asked if we lived it.... Lived what??? Like a mormon. Um.... yeah. Oh That was to hard for them. I guess being a mormon is a hard thing. But they seemed impressed that someone could actually try to do it.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I don't think it's the oranges,I think it's YOU, Crash. I think you are just that kind of person. The kind that peeps want to talk to like that. I mean, remember when everyone was spilling the beans in your comment box? When was that, about a year ago? You are just that type of girl.

Go you.

IWA (e - va) said...

Ditto to Jami... I heart cuties... and they too can solve the worlds problems!

Thank goodness this bloggy thingy is free or i could imagine how much you'd charge us!!!

PS. You could totally bring a blender and make orange smoothies with all that free snow around your stand!!!

Mariko said...

I would totally do that if psych help was always that cheap.
I need it.
You should sell jokes on the side.

Heather and Kyle said...

That is how working at the gas station was when I was there. Hey deb i have a really cute pic of Garrett at Christmas time when he was holding Ethan you should go look.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I need a haircut so maybe I need to stop by. I could use some liquid candy also.

April said...

Do you include a shave in that too? Cause my legs are looking pretty nasty. I'll keep my socks on for you. I have this toe thing.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha Garden, about your boyfriend. ;)

Jami, NO, we do not go get the oranges ourselves. OF COURSE I would come see you and Miss Heidi. We have them shipped from the San Joaquin Valley.

No, April, I don't do shaves. But don't worry, I'm not a hypocrite. I don't even shave myself.

hee hee

ewwww j/k

Heather, I'll go take a look.

Mariko, ha ha Ba dum bum.

Iwa, that's a gooooood idea about the blender. haha I'm with you and Jami, I HEART cuties. I love Kara Kara too.

LoW, I TOTALLY loved that empty your bucket retreat last year. SNIFF! We should do that again sometime. I still remember yours. And then your deleted it, but I still saw it. How are you, girl?

Hey, my verifier says polite. hahahahaha It's important to be polite when people are paying you $6 for psychiatric help and a free bag of oranges.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Aw thanks for asking Crash. I'm fine. Just still worried. :-/