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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Help

Whoever said that laughter is the best medicine was oh so right. 

Mostly. 

But laughter has it's limitations. It can't set broken bones or clear up infections or take x-rays or perform amputations.  

If you're feeling down because reality bites, I can make you laugh.  But if your whole country just collapsed and your eight year old daughter has been suffering from an untreated broken femur for a week, I can't help you because there's nothing funny about that. In fact, I can barely stand to think on it because one of my boys broke his femur when he was six and all the jokes in the world couldn't make that severe pain go away.  

He needed medical attention.  And thank goodness, he got it right away.  

But, darnit, there are thousands of wounded Haitians who, after a week, are still waiting to get medical attention for their broken lives. I so wish I could magically ease their suffering, but I regret to say that sometimes air hugs and a bottle of Vicks just don't cut it. 

Thank goodness there are skilled people who are willing to step up and lend a hand. People like my friend's brother, Craig, who served a mission in Haiti 20 years ago and has joined a team of doctors, two of which are former mission companions, to care for the sick and afflicted in Haiti.  
He is writing letters home chronicling his experiences and they are fascinating.  I have posted them over on my Dummies are People Too site.  Click here to read


On a lighter note, I have an assignment for you.  A project, if you will--Project Dummy.  In other words, I need a favor.  

I need YOU, my friends, fans and followers, to help me describe the dummy.  In one word.  Or one sentence.  

Imagine if you were giving a Eulogy for the dummy, or reading the back of a book cover or writing a query letter (wink wink).  What would you say?

The only thing I can think of to say about the dummy is, "she's dumb." So my sister, who is brilliant, suggested I ask my loyal readers to do my dirty work for me.

So here I am, on my hands and knees, asking . . .

How would YOU describe ME (when I'm playing dumb)?


Mahalo in advance!

40 comments:

Sandi said...

this is a very serious assignment. I must think.

Sandi said...

I just went and read the Haiti story and now I am speechless. Gotta go think some more. Thanks for sharing!

Tiffany said...

Entertaining!!!

DeNae said...

"Crash is an entertaining sunburst of optimisim, humor, and spunk."

I'll even swear to that in court. Or write it up in vinyl letters and paint it on a decorative board.

(I'm not sure "sunburst" is a word, but we're going with it anyway...)

The Garden of Egan said...

awesome.............
lame I know, but I can't think of anything clever like DeNae....
she's all educated and stuff.

Melanie J said...

Crash has a lovely sense of the absurd.

Martha said...

Ok, why do you need this sentence? It's too hard.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I KNOW it's TOO HARD! I've been trying to articulate Crash myself and it's TOO HARD! She's complex. I need it because I'm trying to get her published.

Aww shucks, Melanie J. That is the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Besides all the other nice things.

DeNae, wow! I like that! When are you going to email me your manuscript, girl?

Just SO said...

Supercalafrabulous.

Sandi said...

I love Melanie's! Can I just say ditto to hers?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

No Sandi, that's called plagiarism and it will land you a trip to standards. You're my right hand, girl, come on now.

I like So's. hee hee

The Crash Test Dummy said...

No Sandi, that's called plagiarism and it will land you a trip to standards. You're my right hand, girl, come on now.

I like So's. hee hee

Anjeny said...

One word? How do you expect me to put all those thoughts into one word? Huh? Huh?

My first thought was FUNNY but that was too lame and simple. I have a long list of all the things that describe the DUMMY.

In a way, the dummy is like an onion..so many layers. I have to keep peeling her one layer at a time and seems like each layer is a discription of what I needed at the moment, my feelings for that time-being and whenever I came online and read the "dummy", she has a different ointment to soothe the wound of that day....dang it, I can't even do a good description here.

I'm pretty sure that if anyone would tell me to stand up in front of all these people, your people, fans, friends, followers to do a eulogy, I'd choked up on the first word, can't get past the lump that would have lodged itself in my throat and refused to budge.

Dummy, what can I say about you? You are my inspiration, my beacon at times. You were there when I am need of a little humor, when I'm down, you know the exact word to lift my spirit. At times when I thought I would never laugh again, you seem to be right there with the most outrageous and silliest thing to say that would make me laugh til my sides hurt. Yet, underneath all that silly disposition of yours, you have a most compassionate side to yourself too.

And eventhough, you want people to people you are a dummy, you are one of the smartest person I know, with such a brilliant mind that makes me want to disect your brain and see just what clever secrets you have stored up there.

I could seriously go on and on til I fill up your whole comment box but alas, my little princess is totally acting like one of those spoiled brats who's throwing a fit right now because she wants to use the computer. So, regretfully, I have to get up and let her have her way just to keep the peace in my home...for now. Ta da!!

Anjeny said...

Forgot to follow...laters!!

WV: manlie...my sentiments exactly!! LOL

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh my goodness, Anjeny, my eyes are all sweaty now. That was the sweetest thing EVER! MAHALO!

And air hugs!

MISS YOU1

Homer and Queen said...

I'm going with HOT!!! Cause that is what I would want to be...

Sandi said...

I heard ya the first time!! still thinking!

Sandi said...

wow...Anjeny rocks! no way I can follow that!

IWA (e - va) said...

The Dummy is FRESH!

The dummy Always has me coming back for more.

The dummy is like green m&m's, key lime pie whipped yoplait yogurt, and the whip cream on top of my daily cup of cocoa! (the things i try not to live without!)

The dummy has made me change my mind several times about what i want to be when i grow up!

The dummy has great taste in music! (btw i think you should add some joshua radin to your playlist!)

The dummy makes my brain ponder, my eyes sweat, and my heart warm.

Martha said...

I made chicken brocolli for dinner and thought of eating at your house. I'm so excited because I finally figured out how to put a playlist on my blog. So cool.

Wow, Anjeny that's way more than one word or one sentence. I can't even compete with that and I'm the ultimate competitor.

Martha said...

Iwa, Rachel doesn't know the formula for slopes. silly girl. I'll look it up.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH! Iwa, that was tremendous (as Wolfgang would say). You guys are giving me so much confidence and I really appreciate the insights and ideas for my query letter. It's so hard to sell yourself. Sometimes you just think, can I really do this? Do I really have what it takes?

P.S. It's kinda fun to be present at your own funeral.

hee hee

Sandi said...

Ok, so I was trying to come up with something really unique and good and thought that maybe our friend Jack J could help me out with some of his descriptive words that he uses so I looked up the lyrics to his songs and was browsing through then and do you know that there is one actually about Y.O.U.? Yep indeed it says, " trouble travels fast when your specially designed for crash testing!"
holy moly. I never knew.
And I still haven't come up with my word/sentence. I want to say insightful but it just isn't enough. You need something way more fluffy and accessorized than that!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hahahahahaha Sandi, that is classic. Me and Jack. We're like plugged into the same universal outlet.

Whodathought?

I'm going to borrow that line sometime.

I love that you have to accessorize insightful for me.

hee hee

Sandi said...

ok my head hurts from all this thinking and it is past my bedtime so I must come up with something. you are wayyyyyy too many things to put it all into just a few words, but here's what I think:
hilariously insightful and slightly irreverent. and deep. and thoughtful. and oh so funny. and definitely addicting, kind of like my diet coke. you could have their slogan---have a crash and a smile!
Good luck with all this- can't wait to see you published!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Have a crash and a smile! hahaha aw, that's awesome!!!! LUB IT!

Thanks for thinking so darn hard for me, Sandi. It paid off, that was brilliant. But I know exactly how you feel. I can't summarize Crash. She's all over the place.

LUB YOU GUYS! You all made me smile today. Night night.

Sandi said...

nighty night...you like my new pic?

Sandi said...

oh darn I just looked at it and it's too small..oh well maybe it will make me look skinny. haha
OUT>

IWA (e - va) said...

martha.... formula on page 151 example 1 of her math book.. also give me a call if she ever needs help... this semester im tutoring for free!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh, that is a bee-U-tiful pic. You look TINY! :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

NO MATH IN COMMENT BOX!

I'm allergic!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, that really is a cute pic. And you do look skinny all tucked in behind Kute Kasey like that. How is married life treating her now that she's a real woman.

I better go check your Facebook to see the album. Getting on Facebook is almost like cleaning the bathroom. I have to remind my self it needs to be done.

April said...

Are we graded on this? Cause I'm not good with words under pressure! Sheeesh!

I'm late for work cause I'm having Dummy withdrawls and so for now I'd have to say The CTD is someone for everyone. Cause you reach out to all who come here. You rock sister! And like Queen says...you're HOT!

Marta said...

Ebullient!

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I don't know if it's already been said, but....

"The Dummy ain't dumb."

or

"The smartest Dummy I've ever met."

(it didn't really have to be just one word, did it?)

Jami said...

The Dummy is sweet and silly.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

oooh, I lub all of those. Sweet and silly. hee hee.

LoW, that is awesome. If you're gonna be a dummy, you might as well be a smart dummy. ;)

I like the someone for everyone too because I don't know who my audience is. That's broad enough for me. ;)

And Marta. hahaha I had to look that word up. hahaha It means zestfully enthusiastic and boiling over. (I think she thinks this a cooking blog.)

April said...

Bucketfiller....I just had to add that one more!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

The Dummy is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get, a little nutty, can make any bad day a good one, and definitely addicting.

Sorry I missed the fun yesterday. I have been working way to much. Two more weeks. I hope I can make it.

Jami said...

I second the box of chocolates.