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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Unsolved Mysteries (Sknnnnnnnx!)

Would you like to know which google search words hit my blog the most? 

How do you spell a snore?  

There are hundreds of people out there who want to know how to spell a stinkin' snore and they google it everyday.  

Whodathought?

Wikipedia attempts to answer the question by plagiarizing Dagwood Bumstead.  

When he snores it sounds like this:


 "Sknnnnnx!" (Don't forget the exclamation point - it's an important part!) If it's a really loooooong snore, simply add more n's.


Is it just me, or is anyone else not fully satisfied with this spelling? I mean, when you read my title, did you think of an old man snoring or did you think of a skinny mynx? 

Or maybe you thought I was going to jinx your skin?

I personally think this will forever remain one of life's unsolved mysteries, but I'm going to pose the question again by sharing my famous how-do-you-spell-a-snore post from way back in the day before I was discovered.   


.............................................................................................................

first published on August 22, 2008: 

HOW DO YOU SPELL A SNORE?


If a peaceful dozing sleep is spelled Zzzzzzz, then how do you spell a snore?

I only ask because I've been laying in bed, wide-eyed, for the past 30 minutes trying to figure it out and I got nothin'. I know how it sounds, and I now know how it feels. Or should I say I now know you don't just hear a snore, you feeeeeeel it too. 

It's hard to believe after 20 years of marriage I'm just now realizing this. Other people who have stayed with us, or by us, or near us have mentioned the volume of my husband's snoring, but I've always shrugged it off with a "hmmm, I never noticed." 

I'm gifted. When I drop off to sleep you could run a mac truck over my face and I wouldn't stir.

But tonight I noticed!

I realize there are many of you out there right now saying, "I told you so!" and to you I concede that I understand now. I understand that snoring is much more than a sound--it's an experience. It's a ride that you can't get off once it begins. And you feeeeeel it begin. First in your nose as a tingle that builds into a steady vibration up through your nasal passages before it spreads across your cheeks and crescendos in your brain, making it twitch. 

I kid you not, my brain literally twitched. It was tweaking out. It could have been the poster child for This is Your Brain on Drugs!


But how do you spell that?

15 comments:

Migillicutty said...

J-U-S-T S-H-O-O-T M-E N-O-W.

:) ;) :) ;)

Migillicutty said...

First! :)

Sandi said...

you were funny even back when you weren't famous! I wonder if Jack was a recycler before he was famous?
I can't sleep with a snorer..the hub better not start!

IWA (e - va) said...

So guess what i just did?

I googled how to you spell a snore...... and there was your trusty ol' blog!

but ive been sitting here literally snoring... really. trying to listen to what the letters could be!

but anyways.. Thats hard... I think its with a lots of rrr's.... Rolled rrr's to be exact... like the way they do in spanish! but it's inhaled rolled rrr's!

my genius kid says it sounds like xxx's.. i asked her what sound xxx's make and she said like sk... so maybe she's right... but i stil say inhaled rolled rrr's! maybe like hhhhhoooooorrrr... but sucked in!

my wv says scond.. It wants in the conversation!

Just SO said...

Most people come to my website looking for the progresso soup commercial. *sigh*

And I'm so grateful that my husband doesn't snore. I don't know if our marriage would have survived it.

Dolly said...

I never thought I would be:

Sitting here trying to make snoring sounds and figure out the spelling.

Maybe it IS going to remain an unsolved mystery!

The closest I got to it was an english spelling of arabic words which start with Kha--- and it sounds like you are going to hack up a loogie. It's pretty close but there is no rattle in it and snores definitely have rattles and rumbles.

The other option is hock shooo-- hock shooo. But that's about as diluted as cock a doodle doo is to making the actual rooster crowing sound.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

LOL! I love thinking of you guys sitting there snoring and trying to spell it. Trust me, it's impossible. Been there, done that. Although I think my verifier might be the closest . . . scond . . . and then roll bunch of inhaled spannish rrr's and then hack a loogie.

ewwww . . .

My hub married the perfect deep sleeper to keep his marriage intact. ;)

My verifier say ctierf. I think that's exactly how you spell the exhales of my hub's snores.

Scond . . ctierf

That's exactly how you spell his snores.

Thanks verifier.

Jillybean said...

It sounds like maybe your hub should get himself into a sleep study. Does he just snore or does he ever do the "snore.....pause........................................snort snore" Seriously, if he stops breathing like that, it's a bad thing.

Most people come to my blog searching "Preschool show and tell"

April said...

In our house you spell snore....c-o-u-c-h. Cause if mama ain't happy then it will be a loooong night and the next day will be even worse!

Martha said...

This last year my hub has worn breathe right strips to bed every night. If he's snoring too loud I reach over and feel his nose to check if he forgot to put it on the breathe right strip. Then he freaks out because he thinks a cockroach is trying to crawl up his nose.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha April.

and ha ha ha Martha, I remember Alan jumping out of bed on a few occasions thinking a cockroach was crawling up his nose.

That doesn't happen anymore.

Melanie J said...

My husband made me deliriously happy in the wee hours this morning when he went to sleep on the sofa. Apparently, as my pregnant belly gets bigger, I snore. And he couldn't sleep.

After three years, he finally knows how I feel. Sweet, sweet justice.

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