Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My name is Crash Test Dummy and I'm a draft dodger

I have recently realized that I, Crash Test Dummy, was put here on this good earth for the sole purpose of driving my hub coo coo for coconuts.

You have no idea how gratifying it is to know I am fulfilling my purpose in life--and fulfilling it with flair. In fact, after 20 years, I'm pretty sure I have completely mastered it and there's a good chance I may be translated any minute now. (Hopefully I'm translated correctly.)

(Ba dum bum.)

Luckily that's not my only purpose in life.  I have another grail that gives me much more pleasure with less guilt.  In fact today, instead of blogging, I'm diligently working on my grail.  I found my grail at a young age, but my grail is like a polaroid. I captured it, and then I had to shake it out and develop it. Now I need to pass it around so everyone can point and laugh at it. 

Pointing and laughing is #1 on my bucket list for 2010. 

(Hey, I had to think of something else to do since my bathrooms are already clean.) 

So this post comes from a long, long time ago.  I found it in my draft box.  In fact, it's the very first draft in my draft box, written on September 9th, 2008. Usually I'm a draft dodger, (I have 54 drafts in my draft box) but this one seemed particularly relevant and will give you a glimpse at what I'm doing with my time today (in case my hub's inquiring mind wants to know):


It's funny the things your kids pick up about you. The things they miss are even funnier. Yesterday I was clearing off the kitchen counter when I came across a folded paper entitled Understanding Parents Is a Key to a Better Relationship, which listed 2o questions. I learned that my daughter thinks my dad was unemployed, that my favorite memorable school experience was being a cheerleader, and do I have any special background or traditions? Not really, she wrote. 

But there were a few things she hit spot on. What does she enjoy doing in her spare time? 


And what is her main goal in life? 

To be a writer.

Some things you just can't hide.


(Now I only have 53 drafts in my draft box.)


springrose said...

At least it isn't something like "She knows all the names of people driving down the street. They are Grandma, and Buddy." A lady in my ward used that in her sacrament meeting talk a few weeks ago. Her daughter wanted to know how she knew that guys name was Buddy.

Migillicutty said...


CaJoh said...

I used to have a lot of drafts, but when I realized that I cannot preview the post so that it looks like it will be when I post it, I took to saving them on my hard drive. Of course I know enough about HTML to be dangerous, so this works for me.

Thank you for letting us look into your distant past.

Mary said...

Look at you go. You're already accomplishing your main goal in life.

DeNae said...

I have just two drafts going right now - one for my blog and one for MMB. And I hate them both so much I don't know why I don't just hit delete and do Snoopy's Dance of Joy on their ashes.

But I DO have a lovely draft of my NaNo book cooking along, Crash. Wanna read some of it??

Sandi said...

I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. You are doing a dandy job of the writing thing!

April said...

I wish I knew what Sandi was going to be when she grew up too. (Ba dum bum). I don't think she'll ever grow up tho. Neither will I. We are done growing. And we can't jump for a darn either! hehehe!

The Garden of Egan said...

You are hilarious!
Go for the grail, but be careful of the know, the attack rabbit.
You have a very wise daughter. I think it is amazing that she knew you so well at such a tender age.

Sandi said...

please tell April that I don't appreciate her comments.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I love cocoa puffs. Maybe that is why I love you so much. I wish I knew what I was going to be when I grow up also.

Martha said...

As I recall your hub doesn't like coconut (because he doesn't dig my favorite coconut pecan icing-- I know crazy right?) so it will take a long time to drive him coo coo for them.

The ladies at the Health Center kept asking me "Why is Al selling oranges?" I told them it's his new hobby. They thought it was very strange and couldn't image it. That's why I had to show them your blog so they could get a real picture in their heads.

Tonight I went to our R.S. club about Poetry. (I'm in charge of all the clubs so I had to go support.) So Myrna went over some poems and told lots of good stories. I felt kinda Englishy after. Now I feel like I could hang out with you, Anna, and Emily B.

We had to up our offer on the house because someone else bid the same as us, dang it. So another couple of days until we hear. I like my newly remodeled house here though. So torn....

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Not really? haha!!!

April said...


Dolly said...

If you're a Draft Dodger that makes me a Mind-Blower. My stories never even make it into my draft box because after they linger in my mind more than a week, I blow them off.

Love this new post of an old post! Reminds me of how I never blog about my quirky life but wish I did.

I want that list of 20 questions to make my boys fill it out. So curious about their perspective of Norm and I. Okay that's not true... I just wanna know what they think about me. ; )

Amber Lynae said...

IT is funny the to see what people in our world think about us. They things they see clearly and the things they don't have a clue about.

You will get your goal accomplished. You are a go getter. I have that same goal.