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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Against the Grain

So yesterday was the primary program, which means that when I was sustained as the new Why Double You Prez, my mom just so happened to be seated to my right and my MIL just so happened to be seated to my left.  

There was a moment of stunned silence on both sides when I sat down. 

Finally my MIL leaned over and whispered, "Bless your heart!" 

That's what she said. 

Seriously.

Then she eyeballed the stack of old journals I was using for my Sunday School lesson and said, "May I please read those?"

At least she's polite when she's rude.  I'll give her that.  

My FIL isn't as polite. But then he's not as rude either. He doesn't mean to be rude, anyway. It's just really important to him that things get done correctly. Especially things like cutting roast beef. Between you and me, sometimes I invite him to dinner just to listen to him tell my hub how to cut roast beef.  I never get tired of hearing it.

I used to get tired of hearing it twenty years ago when we first got married, but now I almost get giddy over it.  Take yesterday for instance, I could hardly contain my giggle fits every time he told my hub to "Make sure you cut against the grain!" as he hovered over him eyeballing every slice. It was the cutest darn thing you've ever seen. 

Now if I were the one cutting the roast beef it wouldn't have been quite so darn cute because it would have been my MIL hovering and eyeballing and saying things like "you didn't add curry to this did you? That's one spice I don't care for much."

"No, of course not," I would say.

"Yes you did! I can taste it!" She would say.

She has a highly developed curry radar. If you so much as think about adding curry, she can taste it.

Which reminds me . . . I haven't cooked with curry for a while. In fact, I've cooked with everything but curry. Oh, peeps, I've been cooking myself silly lately, with everything but curry. 

Maybe that's my problem.  I need more curry in my diet. Since I've been cooking my way through America's Most Wanted Recipes, my kids keep telling me I've changed. I'm different now.  They like the old me better and can't understand why I don't just make them some chili and rice or some mac and cheese. 

Funny thing is, I haven't made mac and cheese in years. What's up with that?



Tomorrow we'll talk about my post traumatic cooking issues, k.

22 comments:

April said...

What first??? Say it isn't so...and I'm a post behind. Be right back!

April said...

Wow....read the other post and still dead in here...what the grownups here have lives? Bless their hearts!

The Garden of Egan said...

I don't have a life April! Obviously!
Glad your MIL could show you her shocked face when your were sustainable in church as the prez of the united young womens.
I think I'm gonna invite the FIL to Thanksgiving so he can give lessons on turkey cutting.

Anjeny said...

Gee Crash...you have got to stop cooking...I'm channeling all that cooking of yours by sticking my nose in books..books books, who's got any books. I've been reading so much lately that I've been shoved a non-published copy of a book that is waiting to be sent to the publishers to read and give some feedback on it. So now, instead of just getting reacquainted with my old love affair (mind out of the gutter dummy, I'm talking about my love affair with books), I'm on my way to the altar with it..sheesh.

I can picture your kids looking at you like you've grown another head on your shoulder from all that cooking...can I come over for dinner? LOL

April, you tripped me on the way in..you sooo cheated!!!

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I love a good traumatic cooking issue. :)

val of the south said...

Mmmmmmm...curry - I LOVE curry. Bless your MIL's heart, how could she not like curry?

I found some great curry recipes at http://morganmoore.typepad.com/one_more_moore/ on the sidebar - Chicken & Apple curry (yum with toasted almonds and raisins) and I just saw one there for Indian Curry Salad which I'm pretty sure will be on my plate for lunch today!

Viva la Curry!

val of the south said...

ps - the whole wheat chocolate chip cookie recipe at Morgan's is pretty great too...just saying...in case you need a little something after your curry.

wv: rehotleo

Is there something you wanted to share regarding hot leo?

Don said...

I love curry, but my wife totally forbids it. After the great Laie flood of '91 (were you there for that one?) the cafe made hamburger curry for everyone in TVA, and hers, um, didn't stay put.

That was the last time she's ever eaten curry. It sounds like her curry detector comes from the same manufacturer as your MIL's.

springrose said...

Your in-laws sound like my parents!! To much unwanted advice and to much critisism!! Not enough unconditional going on with them!! (My parents, not your in-laws, unless you thing so!)
And April's right! You move to Utah and now there is no party going on over here anymore? What since you don't live in Hawaii you are no longer as interesting!! WHatever!! You are still you and just as exciting, I mean who, tell me who takes a picture of the Prophet with a cell just for us to see?!! Crash does of course! Now that is unconditional love for ya!!

Sandi said...

You simply MUST make some of Val's curry recipe's and share each and every one of them with your sweet little MIL. She so deserves it :-)
I would appreciate a little video of your FIL instructing the hub on how cut roast beef, now who wouldn't like to see that? It makes me kind of curious as to whether your hub will turn around and do the same thing to his boys when they are all grown up. Keep blogging at least until then ok so I can find out!
I start a cooking frenzy in the Fall too- something about the weather changing or something. I get over it pretty soon though and we are back to tacos and pasta. oh well it's fun while it lasts-I have made the PW's pumpkin muffins 3 times now, I might be over them.

Sandi said...

HA! look at that up there...my little smiley face got cut in half!!
April girl...way to go you were first AND second and you tripped Anjeny..woohoo!

Sandi said...

Not that I want to see Anjeny fall on her face or anything...I'm not sure what that whole woohoo thing was all about. Sorry Anjeny..haha

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey, maybe it's just a fall thing then. Not tripping Anjeny, but my cooking frenzy. Phew! I was beginning to think I really am Utarted. I'm kinda over it too. Especially after my kids keep poking me in the eyes.

I wonder if my hub will do that too. I bet he will. But I'll be like "DUDE!" And then I'll smack him upside the head.

While he's telling them how to cut their meat I'll be telling their children to wear a jacket and brush their teeth and DON'T forget SUNSCREEN SUNSCREEN SUNSREEN!

I hope I don't die of skin cancer before I get a chance to tell them to wear their sunscreen.

Awwww Springrose, you are so sweet. MAHALO girlfriend.

Don, YES, I was there for the great flood of 91. I was stoked because I didn't have to take a test that day.

Val! VIVA LA CURRY! hahahaha You're right. Who in there right mind wouldn't LUB LUB LUB Curry, (besides Don's wife and my MIL). I am going to try your recipes.

Anjeny, I was just about to say "if you love books so much then why don't you marry them," but then you said you were on your way to the alter so you beat me to the punch line. That's a lot of pressure reading someone's unpublished manuscript. I hope you love it. What are you reading anyway? Do tell.

CaJoh said...

Hey, if you need a simple Mac and Cheese recipe, I have one.

Perhaps what you feel you are lacking is spice. So often we go through the motions of life much like everyday ordinary meals and never bother to add a bit of spice to it. Even a bit of mild curry is just what is missing in the recipe of life.

Post Traumatic Cooking issues eh… can't wait to hear.

Martha said...

I've been cooking a little too, since I have a new kitchen now. Last week we lived off of cold cereal, and our kitchen was in the dining room. The toaster and microwave were on the kitchen table.

Now only the downstairs bathroom needs new cupboards which are sitting in the front hall.

Our house will almost be like a mainland house, except with cockroaches. Since they took out the kitchen the roaches moved to the hall closet and living room. I got a bunch of those guys in glue traps last night. Bet you don't miss them.

Jim and Nan are big buds with Akanas now and go to the BYUH basketball games every night with them. Jocelyn likes them to come because they entertain her kids. They don't watch the game at all, they play in that classroom and run around.

Martha said...

Like Sandi said that would have been a classic photo of your FIL teaching how to cut the roast beef.

Sandi said...

no no Martha...I want video footage! and you just creeped me out with all that cockroach talk!!!!

Kristin said...

Heller Sister Frampton. I took your advice and am starting a blog. I love reading your stuff. So creative!! It's my first time blogging so I dont really know what i'm doing. Oh well... i will figure it out. miss you!
Kristin Wiberg
(spring term student ;)

DeNae said...

You gotta love it when former students put your real name on your blog! Mine do it about once a month. Bless their hearts!

And it sounds to me like you need to skip the curry and go right for the arsenic next time the IL's are over for dinner.

April said...

Mmmmm cockroaches and cooking...who's hungry?

BTW...sorry Anjeny...I didn't see you there!

Jami said...

You have a real name? Weird.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hee hee! Except for the fil part b/c mine is currently in the doghouse. Batty old man!