Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Turkey bowl-ing

Traditions are hard to start, but even harder to stop.  

The Laie Elementary School annual Turkey Trot, for example, is a hard habit to break. Especially when it means I can no longer rely on my children to win our entire Thanksgiving dinner in a single (bare) foot race.

It also means I don't get to watch my x-door neighbor, Martha tripping all the other mom's in order to win her piece of the pie.  Click here for photographic evidence.

(I miss watching Martha push people around.)  

In Utah they have a Turkey Bowl rather than Turkey Trot.  Sounds like fun, huh? 

That's what my twins thought too when they heard their school was having a Turkey Bowl. They were stoked. 

Until they realized that the Turkey Bowl had nothing to do with throwing footballs and making touchdowns and everything to do with bowling.  A turkey.  Literally.  

I think their principal is Amelia Bedelia because they seriously bowled. With a turkey. 

And they had to pay five box tops for every time they bowled.  With a turkey. 

So of course I searched high and low, through the house for box tops. (Ziploc boxes, peeps. That's where you'll find them. And Chex cereal.) I found 15 box tops and I crossed my fingers and hoped to die that that would be enough to win us a turkey or a pie or at least a yam for dinner.  

But my boys didn't win because there are no winners or losers in Utah.  Everyone's a winner.  And everyone's a loser.  And when you're a winner/loser like everyone else, participation is it's own reward.  

In other words, my boys didn't come home with a Turkey.  They came home with 17 candy cane sticks. 

Not the crooks, just the sticks. That's what I have to work with.

So if anyone has a good recipe for how to stuff and baste a candy cane stick, I'm all ears.


Sandi said...

can it be?

Sandi said...

wow I am first and I even read it first. weird.
Amelia Bedelia indeed!! I'm really curious to know what this turkey looked like when everyone got done bowling with it. I sure hope it was still in it's wrapper so that there was not little bits of giblets and necks and such as flying all over the place. what if someone got overly ambitious and flung that sucker into the crowd? I'd sure hate to get a turkey flung in my face. Paula Deen might be able to handle a ham to the face but a turkey is a whole other story. good luck with turning the candy canes into a feast :-)
p.s. still need your address if you want an invitation thats not really an invitation.

Sandi said...

wow..i am still the only one here.

Sandi said...

anyone? anyone? Ferris?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, I am here! I will go send you my address right now so I can get my invitation that's not really an invitation. (What is it then, btw?)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow it seems just like yesterday we were all getting to meet Martha up close and personal like, although not as up close and personal as her competitor. I have loved her ever since. Sigh. Good good times. Where has the time gone.

Wish we could have photographic evidence of the bowling turkey. Maybe that would be better if the kids dressed up as turkeys and bowled. hmmmm.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Dang I was not logged in and so could not follow the witty reparte going on here in the comment box. I suppose everyone is out worrying about thanksgiving dinner. Not me.

OldBoatGuy said...

Crash, I think they have a free GOOD WILL dinner down at the fire station, or some where like that. I've never been to one, cause I've always had enough money to buy a turkey. Hee Hee

Anjeny said...

LOL@the candy cane stick. That totally sound like fun, bowling with turkey, I mean. I was seriously cracking up at this post and then see Sandi pulling a Kritta in your comment box..a great way to end the day.

NHC..I'm with you, I am not in the least bit worried about Turkey dinner. Someone else is cooking it for me and I'll stuff myself so I can come and hang out in Crash's comment box.

I guess Martha is going to win herself the full thanksgiving dinner then. I'm going to keep a close watch on that one tomorrow, wonder who she'll push this time..LOL.

Barbaloot said...

If by stuff and baste a candy cane, you mean swirl it around in hot chocolate to make really good tasting peppermint chocolate yumminess-then yeah, I have a recipe.

T said...

if I'd only known, I've been collecting box tops for the entire summer and I keep forgetting to send them to one of the kids' schools... they would have gotten at least a few more chances to toss that bird :)

We have a turkey trot down here... but it doesn't win us anything - just raises money for the local shelter... I suppose that should make me just as happy.

Luckily I don't have to worry about the meal - I'm eating in Payson... this is ALL good except I have nobody to shop with uber-early Friday morning :(

Colleen said...

What, you are not coming for Thanksgiving! You would rather Turkey Bowl, then Turkey Trot! So aren't they worried about instructional time in Utah? And is everyone doing History Day there? That's crazy cool that we could meet up! But, save us a room in the Utah dorm, because I had a dream that HCH had put us in an outer darkness dorm--surprise, surprise, and then I had accidently brought the wrong kid. The one that can run--but he can't fly! Very cool that T is now a rising basketball star.

Kris said...

I was watching Donny win dancing with the stars and getting my 3rd free turkey from Fred Meyer. Instead of my usually lurking. I have a lot of baking to do.

Tiffany said...

Tee hee hee. Sorry no recipe.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Get some vanilla ice cream and blend the candy canes and the ice cream in a blender (alternately just smash the candy canes - use whatever creative method you prefer.)

See stress reliever AND nutrition all in one!!

Keli'i and Megan said...

That is awesome. We miss you guys.

IWA (e - va) said...

Personally Im against the Whole Turley Trot Thingy.... but i was talking to a girlfriend and realized that besides the physical fitness meet, thats the only thing the jocks get!

Turkey Bowling sounds much more fair! LOL! and the fact that they give out candy cane sticks is a sure sign that there aint no fast poly kids upthere, with parents who refuse to buy a $3 Turkey! heehee!

OMG, I just had a light bulb moment.... that is why all the local peeps move up.. because we revel in the fact when we get something for free (even when it is only $.50) and Its utah thats giving away everything for free! Darn Utards!

val of the south said...


I desperately need your pie crust recipe...can you email it to me?

I'd truly appreciate it!

valofthesouth at gmail dot com

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I have so very many box tops. I can't believe I've been giving them to our school for NUTHIN'! No turkey bowling, no candy cane stick, nuthin.

St. Georgia is so lame.

Martha said...

I just picked up Tom from preschool and guess what???? He won the turkey trot at his school!!! Yippee. He didn't win a turkey though, he won a Star Wars gun, which is way better than a turkey to him. He's been telling us that he was going to win it for awhile now. One boy was getting close, so he went out to the back field and practiced to make sure he would win. I don't know where the kid gets it from.

We gotta go in a minute to the "After School" turkey trot to see Colleen's son kick all the other 5th graders trash. Of course, we also know Kamaile will win too. I'm hoping Nan can get a pie.

Maybe I should wear my shorts and win a turkey cuz these twins are not keeping up the family name like Josh and Rach did. Next year Tom will win it though. We will train for it and win because winning is everything in Laie. Sorry that there are no winner/losers in Utah.

The Crash Test Dummy said...


Martha, CONGRATS to Tommy! He's a chip off the old block. I am anxiously awaiting news about the Turkey Trot. I can't wait to hear who you push around this year.

I have to go to my first Thanksgiving dinner, but I"ll be BACK!

LY everyone!

Jillybean said...

I have lived here my entire life and I've never bowled with a turkey. Is this some sort of Happy Valley thing?
I have, however, participated in a turkey shoot, only we didn't actually shoot any turkeys, we shot a hockey puck into a goal, and apparently, I'm not very good at that.

I'm pretty sure that people were mocking me behind my back.

My daughter was 5 at the time and won us a turkey by getting the puck closer to the goal than anyone else in the "girls 6 and under" category. Of course she was also the only one entered in that group.

I wish I could help you with the candy stick thing, but I don't really like candy canes, or sticks. Maybe you could stuff them with marshmallows and baste them with chocolate?

Perhaps you should just go have Thanksgiving dinner at The Golden Corral.

Martha said...

Well, I got third and I didn't push anyone. But hey I would've won in the over 30 category and I'm 43. Katelyn Demartini won and Emily B. got 2nd. They announced that there were NO prizes for the adults so we were only running for glory I guess.

So for the 5th graders there was an upset in the girls race. Kamaile didn't win... Aolele did. Then Karly N. got third and Nan jogged in for 4th. She says she thought there was another lap....yeah good excuse Nan. So she got nothing.

Truman won for the boys like we all knew, he had to hold back not to lap everyone. I think Kawika got 2nd. After 1st I sorta quit paying attention because W & G weren't there to cheer on and Jim was close to the back. But, he was cute and wasn't last.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

YAY for 3rd, even if it was just for the glory. Emily B. pulled that one out of the hat, eh? Of course Katelyn would win. Why no prizes? Are they adopting the everyone's a winner/loser philosophy?

I can't believe Kamaile didn't win. Wow! I'm depressed. But Aelele is a Talupap right? That's not surprising. Sorry you didn't get any of your dinner complimentary of Laie El. You're going to have to run to Foodland. Give Dolly a big hug for me tomorrow.

GUESS WHO is sleeping over tonight? Keilani Hayden! Tatum is out of her head with excitement!!!!

Mariko said...

What kind of school IS this?! They let you bowl with a turkey but they won't let you take it home? AND THEY MAKE YOU PAY TO BOWL THE TURKEY?!

That is the worst.

Too bad you don't have any fun pictures of turkey trot this year. You could have had a picture of me with a red face, bad hair, and a hang dog look that says "kill me now" as I rounded the curve after the second mile.

Colleen said...

And Mighty won the Kahuku H.S. Turkey, of course!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

WooHoo Mighty (Aka Mariko) See, all that jogging paid off.

WooHoo Truman! Colleen, give him a high five for us.


Sandi said...

aww, you Laiegirlz are adorable!

Dolly said...

So this year's victim of Martha's pushing and tripping at the Turkey Trot was ME!

She invites us for the big feast at her house and then when I see her at the Turkey Trot, she tells me, Oh, let's have it at your house since we ripped out all of the carpet last night. So I set up at my house and then she calls me with one hour countdown to feast time and says... Let's have it at my house.

I guess she knows I am easy to push around when she sees that my hub can drag me all across the world with no time to settle into life and then drag me off again. All the while, I'm smiling and saying, it's okay, I'm flexible.

And it always is! Thanks for a great feast Martha. We loved it. I know we don't feel the void that the Crash's family left for you but we do live in our own kind of void and it's nice to have a place to d-void.