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Friday, November 13, 2009

Dearly Beloved . . .

We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. 

Actually, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called Life cereal. 

Remember when I got five for five at Macey's (five boxes for five dollars)? Well I've discovered that Life cereal is a lot like life--too much of a boring thing is a . . . boring thing. 

I've got a box and a half to go (Yawn!!!!)

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone!

Friday the 13th is the only holiday I celebrate on my blog because I love tempting fate. I may seem like a good little dummy in public, but behind closed doors I'm a HUGE tease. My philosophy is that it's okay to be a tease as long as you set standards. For instance, I only flirt with destiny. 

What better day to flirt with destiny than on Friday the 13th? It's the one day of the year I can put on my fish net stocking with my seven inch heels and kidnap my neighbor's black cat. (Believe me, when you're wearing seven inch heels you need a side kick.)  Usually we spend the day walking under ladders and breaking mirrors and stepping on cracks, but today I simply pulled out all the lava rocks I've stolen from the Big Island and opened my University of Utah umbrella inside the house.  

Come hither, Universe!  I double dog dare you.

You don't have to duck.  I pinky promise I won't get struck by lightening.  I was born on Friday the 13th so I'm immune to bad luck. 


Oh, wait.  I was born on Wednesday the 13th . . .


(Never mind.) 


Anyways, since we're all gathered here together let's go on a field trip. 

Let's go doorbell ditch Swirl.  It's her birthday today.  For those of you new around here, Swirl was my neighbor and one of my bestest friends back in the hood.  Allow me to introduce you:

Here's a picture of me and Swirl.  Oh, and there's my X-door neighbor, Martha on the left.  I don't know what she's doing in the picture.

Oh wait!  I think it's because me and Swirl lub her so much.

So you guys go freshen up, grab some Code Red and meet me here in her comment box so we can sing happy birthday, k. 

Martha will you be in charge of bringing the swirly kupcakes, and Anjeny will you bring the kute krafts? (I have to practice bossing everyone around since I'm a prez now).

Anjeny is another one of our friends from the hood. She and Swirl are big time kute krafters. (If I was a kute krafter you guys would call me Utarded, but in Hawaii you can get away with anything.)  

After we surprise Swirl, come back here and I'll tell you a bedtime story. 

And don't forget to bring some kleenex.


********

Once upon a time (this morning) my twins woke up early and actually got out of bed before me.  
Chalk it up to maturity, or chalk it up to the ginormous alarm clock I bought at Target, which I think Target ripped off from the local fire station. 

Anyways, they went from their bed into my bed.

"I had a dream last night," said the younger twin. 

"I have dreams every night," said the older twin.  "About Hawaii.  And Jimmy and Nana. I dream about all of them. The whole neighborhood." 

When I asked him what happens in the dreams, he said, "we play.  At the basketball court. And in the back field. And at the farm." 

Then he shook his head wistfully and said "I see them allevery night."  


The end. 


Sniff.  

My son is psychologically moonlighting with his old pals on Kulanui Street. 



*Apply kleenex to your eyeballs now. 

16 comments:

val of the south said...

I'll trade you a bazillion bags of cereal for your box of Life cereal.

SWIRL said...

Hey thanks for the birthday wishes! jUst had our birthday lunch... will post a picture in a few minutes! wish you were here.. totally funny reading your blog with Anjeny and Martha HERE!!! celebrating!!

Jami said...

One of the things I look forward to in eternity is the restoration of all of our friendships at their acmes. No more missing each other.

Personally, I love Life. I don't think it's boring. Subtle. That's the word.

Also--I am drinking MD-CodeR at this very moment in your honor.

Martha said...

So I was all ready to make Swirl her birthday sandwich and when I got home from work I see two girls camped out on her front porch waiting. Isabel and Anjeny already had make plans for a lunch deal. So instead of making her my famous sandwich I just joined their lunch.

After we checked your blog so it was like you were there too.

We wish W & G were back here playing too. Jim has been missing them a lot this week. Anna and Curt C. have made an offer on a house (it was Moe Mahe's on Iosepa St.) and plan to move over Christmas. Jim is praying for a family with an 11 year old boy in it to move there.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Happy Birthday Swirl!!

My son was born on Friday the 13th. I don't think it had any impact on him. Except he loves UFC. So maybe it did.

That is so sad. I still dream about my friends I left in Utah and I've been gone almost 10 years now! :(

Martha said...

I thought of you yesterday because I looked at my new bathroom cabinets and floor and something didn't quite fit in. Guess what it was? It's my old rusty washer and dryer. They just don't match the newness.

So I got out the sander and sanded that rust right off down to the metal and painted two coats of rustolium and one coat of appliance enamel spray on those babies, and boom! they look awesome. I'm thinking you could do the same except buy bright cherry red enamel spray paint.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OOOOH, I'm glad I was at that party. I bet I had so much fun.

I love the cherry red enamal paint idea. ;) Trust you, Martha, to go after it. Good for you.

As for me and my house, we've been raking leaves all afternoon long and my limbs are about to fall off. We are getting ready for the big huge ginormous snow storm.

I will pray for Jimmy too. Give him a hug from my boys.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Jami, you always look on the bright side of life, darnit! And YAY for you drinking a Code Red! That ROCKS!

LoW, how cool your son was born on Friday the 13th. Was it Nolan? We are bonded forever, if so.

Oh, wait! I was born on Wednesday the 13th.

Nevermind.

I am off the a BYU Basketball game. TTFN

April said...

OHHH...We are watching BYU basketball on tv...you are so Utarded! There is no going back. I had a dream last night too. I dreamt I was jumping down stairs. BIG stairs. I am quite clumsy, so I was proud I was sticking the landing. Then I made my last jump onto the ground, only to see while I was in the air that the ground wasn't so solid. I could see it was cracked, and going to give way as soon as I landed on it. So, I broke through the ground and was then falling through the air. Let me not here that I am SCARED TO DEATH of heights. So, I am falling, falling, falling, feet first and scared to death. Then I though to myself...I'm not going to fall and be scared anymore. I am going to fly! So, I turned head first and started flying like super woman. And my fear turned to excitement. The end.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh, April, that is the coolest dream ever. It's like you had a major breakthrough in your sleep. High five for sleep therapy!

Dolly said...

That is the coolest dream ever April. I love flying dreams. Just not flying in real life. I was flying from Riyadh to Frankfurt on an Airbus 330 and we hit the worse turbulence I have had in my life. (And I'm almost a million miler on Delta alone.) So it's my super long 31 hour, Friday the 13th that I am doing all of this flying with my three kids and I am remembering that I used to be able to handle the turbulence because I KNEW that airplanes don't fall out of the sky. They only crash on take off and landings or with bombs on board. But since we just left Saudi, I knew there could be no bomb.... but now I no longer have my safety thoughts of turbulence and not falling out of the sky because on June 1, the Air France Airbus 330 broke apart in the air due to the computer misreading the speed with which to fly through the terrible turbulence.

I only wished I had been dreaming so I could make it go away. Instead I sang hymns and thought of poor Norm who would lose his whole family in one tragic Friday the 13 computer error. So I prayed and prayed that they had fixed the Airbus 330's computing problem. The German pilot's didn't even get on the intercom to reassure us that they were trying to find some smooth air. They just ordered the crew to sit down.

I'm reading this post in the wee morning hours of Sat. the 14 and now I realize I owe it all to Crash for our safe landing. With a dummy named Crash tempting fate in Utah (a place lacking in juicy temptations), the Universe had a great diversion, watching her step on all the sidewalk cracks and such. We are safely on the ground, but I still didn't make it to Hawaii. As fate would have it, I got the great idea to not get on the last flight in LAX. Tristan did, because he has a soccer scrimmage in Wailua tonight. Sean and Izzy and I decided to grab a car and go see our summer RV buddies in their new house in Oceanside. We'll hop on the plane this afternoon instead.

And now that I am at least in the US again, I can hear the music! (The playlist on the dummy diaries is no longer filtered out as it was in Riyadh.) Taylor Swift is singing Crazier.... how perfect.....

T said...

awwwww... now I'm off to Swirl's to wish her belated birthday happiness!

Nolan said...

Yep- it's Nolan. And he turned out just find. Sort of.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Woops!!! That wasn't Nolan commenting, it was me!! I didn't realize he was still logged on.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh LoW, what a disappointment. You don't know how thrilled I was that Nolan was commenting on my blog.

Dolly, I'm glad I was able to help distract the universe from drop kicking your plane out of the sky. What a freaky Friday! How cool that you were spontaneous enough to see your RV friends. I'm so glad you get to hear the playlist again.

April said...

Wow Dolly! What a scary plane ride! I am not a fan of turbulence or rude pilots. Maybe the pilot was having dream that he was falling...no, that wouldn't help you would it....sorry! I'm glad you made it safely!