Sunday, November 22, 2009

Kids say the darndest things

Yesterday morning I put on one of my daughter's sweaters for a party.  

"How come you never wear any of these uber cute sweaters I bought you at D.I.?" I asked her as we leaned over the sink together applying our make-up.

"I'm waiting for it to get cold," she said.

What a sassy pants! 

But no worries, I didn't flinch or bat an eyeball or spray Windex in her face or anything. I was a picture of poise. 

You know why? Because I am so done telling my kids what to wear and what not to wear.  If my daughter wants to wear her fuzzy house slippers to Young Women's and to parties and movies and basketball games, that's her prerogative. (No, I didn't spell that wrong, you just say it wrong.)

And anyways, as long as they're not getting skin cancer or cavities, then whatever! 

That's what I always say (now that I'm on valium).  

(j/k peeps!  I'm not on valium)  (I meant to say, now that I'm on helium).  

But don't kids just say the darndest things? 

Like last week my daughter told me that she thinks the young women in the ward are really going to like me as their prezident. 

"Really?  You think so? Really? How come? How come? How come?" I asked.

"Because you're more like a teenager than I am," she said.  

Hmmmm . . . 

Then yesterday one of my twins asked me how old I am.  I told him I was forty, plus two. 

"FORTY TWO!???" He said, his chin hitting the floor.  "You don't look FORTY TWO!" 

"Really? You think so? Really?" I said. 

"Really," he said. "You look THIRTY EIGHT."
Hmmmm  . . .

But last night was thee beeessst, as Nacho Libre would say. Last night, over dinner, we were discussing this year's History Day theme, which is Innovation in History, and my kids were throwing out topic ideas.  

"Louie Armstrong would be good," I said.  

Louie Armstrong?" my daughter said.  "The bike rider?" 

I practically choked on my Costco rotisserie chicken from LOLing. 

"That's Lance Armstrong," said my hub. 

"Louie Armstrong is the guy who landed on the moon," said one of my twins. 

More choking and LOLing. 

"That's Neil Armstrong," said my hub. 

 "Louie Armstrong is the father of Big Band Jazz," I finally said. 

"That's not Louie Armstrong," my thirteen year old son--who just so happened to win 2nd place at the National History Day competition last year--said.  "That's Duke Ellington." 

Hmmmm . . . 

I guess mom's sometimes say the darndest things too.


Heather and Kyle said...

Pretty funny!! Wow I have never been the first one to comment on your blog.

Deb is there any way I can get your new address? You can email me at

Thanks Deb. We will get to see each other on Wednesday

OldBoatGuy said...

You should have said "Satchmo" He died 38 years ago, when you were born. Hee Hee

April said...

One of my sons will wear slippers to church. He says it's ok since they have stripes. It makes them fancy. Where did I go wrong?

I used to listen to Louie Armstrong when I was a little girl. It was either that or a Grimm's Faery Tale album that I had and that scared the helk out of me.

I love how sassy your kids are. You are teaching them well! Just sayin. =)

MaeRae said...

That is sweet, my kids tell me i act like I am a teenager but the wrinkles on my face and hands that I got the last few years make me look like grandma even though she is "like twice my age"

Funny Farmer said...

Wait. YOu are the YW president? Dude! You've only been here for what, 3 months? Talk about ladder climbing, you yuppie! Now I have to go and backread your blog for the last two weeks.

K so - I know I've been absent. I've been stuck under something heavy. And it is called MY HOUSE IS BEING TORN APART! This is the part where it gets worse before it gets better. Much much worse.

I actually am going to try to start blogging again. I just figured out how to post from my cell phone. So chances are improving. I have so much to say -- just no time to say it.

So if there is anybody out there who still remembers me... watch for new and amazing posts about my pathetic life while remodeling my house during the holiday season.

Smart Helm said...

I just learned about those Rotisserie chickens last week at my sister's. I think I'm in luv! They are the perfect thing when u are ill.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

FF hooray for you and rejoining the group. What a treat for those who don't know and love your witty wise crackin' ways. I can't wait to read about the perils of remodeling a house. Talk about material. woohoo.

And Crash, I was absent from my computer yesterday and so I missed a whole fun conversation. Dang I hate it when that happens.

So glad your kids think of you like that.

DeNae said...

Hooray for writing and saying "prerogative" correctly! I'm sure you're also a member of DeNae's Foundation for the Preservation of the R in 'February', too, huh??

And kids are sassy, sassy little soggy footed stinkers. I'm raising a bunch of 'em myself.

(And yes, I'm still determined to finish NaNo, despite my having been seriously derailed by gall bladder surgery)

T said...

haha - I guess I have to join DeNae's foundation because I've always pronounced the R in February and prerogative... of course, people look at me funny every time... but honestly, how often does "prerogative" come up in every day speech?

oooh - your WV says ressel... and you talking like Nacho Libre, how fitting :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH! Funny Farmer is back! WAHOO! Can't wait to hear about the extreme makeover. Why oh why would you do a remodel in the winter, girlfriend????

Crazy chica!

T, I only say prerogative when I sing Bobby Brown. But then I pronounce it wrong so it doesn't count.

DeNae, what the what? You have gall bladder surgery? Ain't that just the way it goes when you're trying to write 50,000 words in a month? You don't let that stop you girl. Think ERMA!

Nutty, we missed you too! We hate it when that happens too!!!

Amen Smart Helm! I'm sorry you're sick.

April, Ha ha That sounds familiar. I don't know why they call Grimms Faery Tales, Faery tales. Are there even any fairies?

Good one, OBG. hee hee You crack me up.

Heather, see you Wednesday. I just emailed you.

MaeRae, we are always going to be 16 inside, eh?

CaJoh said...

Now I got Bobby Brown stuck in my head… "It's my prerogative".

Now at least you can say that the kids are actually learning something if they can correct you on the who's who in Jazz.

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

That was pretty dang funny! I'm still chuckling to myself ;-)

Dolly said...

Did I know you are 42? Did you know I am 42? I don't think I ever really pondered this before but it strikes me now, like duh? No wonder you speak 80's and my entire childhood in ways that make me think you were a fly in my head all my long lost days.

Btw, you should try a valium for those special days beginning with P and ending with MS. I have a little stash for when I fly in airplanes and I have found a special use for them as I start to get grey hair and still have the ability get knocked up.

Hmmm, contemplating erasing this.... Mom's DO say the darnedest things!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha Dolly. That made me capital LOL.

You thought I was 38 huh?

I'll have to try the valium. I've been using helium to keep from getting knocked up. It works especially well, coupled with the Bee Gees, as a form of birth control.

Trust me!

Anjeny said...

Moms DO say the darndest thing if you and Dolly are any indication..LOL. I have no idea what I just utter there but then again, whenever I visit you(virtually that is) things just shoot out of my hands onto your comment box without my consent, like I am doing right now. LOL

So my 16 year old told me she doesn't care if I look younger than I am or even pass for her sister as long as I am not skinnier than about a bunch in the guts since I am a tad bit obsessed with my weight right now.

I love how your kids sass you like that.