We have to. To get through the winter. (And all the ward counsel meetings and the BYCs, and the PECs and the PPIs.)
(Was that TMI?)
We have secret santas and secret grandmas and secret sisters, and I'm even thinking of taking up the secret life of bees. My real name means honeybee anyway, so it might be a good winter to get in touch with that side of myself.
But first I have another secret life to confess. The life of pie.
Father forgive me. Today I went to Macey's and I fell into temptation. I was walking down the frozen food aisle minding my own business when SUDDENLY I noticed the Sara Lee apple pies on sale for $3 each.
I'm sorry, but with thanksgiving upon us I've been feeling the Betty Crocker blues so, YES, I took the easy way out--the shortcut--the quick fix. I took the road most travelled. And honestly, I think it might make all the difference. To my sanity.
I bought four apple pies.
I mean, I bought eight apple pies.
(And three pumpkin pies, because yesterday a little neighborhood girl knocked on my door and asked me why I still had pumpkins on my front porch. How cute is that? (The little brat!) So I made my front porch more relevant by replacing the pumpkins with pumpkin pies.)
But seriously, peeps! Can you blame me for buying the pies? Huh? Huh? Huh? I can't even make a pie for $3. And let's not even talk about how many hours it takes to travel the road less traveled from scratch. Not to mention the mess I make when I travel that road from scratch.
PLUS, I've got a lot of pie holes to fill. If I had a dime for every family member who expects me to feed their face for Thanksgiving I'd be like four dollars richer.
So why do I feel so dirty?
Why do I feel so unindustrious . . . and unamerican . . . and unattractive?
(I bet honeybees make their pies from scratch, huh? And I bet they don't put on five lbs. in the process.)
Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
P.S. I guess you heard that Utah has the #1 soccer team EVER, huh?
And I guess you also heard that Utah has the #1 ballroom dancer EVER. Looks like all that smiling worked in Donny's favor. Well, that and all of his kids holding every Walmart in Utah at gunpoint until they texted their vote for Donny.
But shhhhh, that's a secret, so keep that on the down low.
And did anyone hear Marie say, "Bless his heart" during her interview after the show?
I did too!
LOL, Marie! Your secret's out.
But it's safe with us. (Mwuahahaha)