Thursday, November 5, 2009

My dumb blond revelation

I know you're waiting with baited breath to hear about my all-nighter, but can I first tell you about the revelation I received yesterday? It's not directly related to my insomnia, but it did remind me that I am seriously, so bless-ed, and that always makes me sleep better. 

You know those revelations where you suddenly feel just a little bit superior to everyone else in the world because no one could possibly be half as smart of you?  

Or half as dumb?

Well, that's exactly the kind of revelation I had. 

It all started when my daughter came home from school in a state of shock.  Her Interior Design teacher had asked the only boy in the class what color he feels is most flattering on girls.  

"Blond," he said. 

"BLOND?" my daughter repeated over and over.  "Boys like BLONDS?" 

The thought had never occurred to her.  Imagine that! Fifteen entire years she's been alive without ever awakening to the reality that boys prefer blonds.

Now I, like every other good little politically correct girl, understand that reality is like beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder--or at least in the eyes of those who behold the beholder--but I figured out that blonds have more fun in 4th grade when, even though I had my mom's Avon lipstick samples, Jeff Mckay chose to play kissing tag with Susan Liechty over me.

So I said to my daughter, "haven't you ever heard that blonds have more fun?" 

"Yes," she said, "but I thought it was because they were dumb." 

Insert full belly laughter here. (ie: hee hee hee ha ha ha ha ho ho ho hoo hoo ha ha lolololol)

"Let me get this straight," I said, "All these years you thought it was dumb people who had more fun?"  

"Well, blonds definitely don't have more fun in Hawaii!" she declared.  

She had a point.  

And I had a Flash Gordon insight. 

When we lived in Hawaii my daughter wished to be Polynesian. Now that we live in Utah she'll wish to be blond.  

I need to teach my daughter that race and hair color have nothing to do with happiness.  

But IQ does!!!  

We may not be blonde or polynesian, but at least we're dumb. 

And dumb people have more fun no matter where they live. 


Amanda said...

yay, I got first :)

Love when that happens!

Barbaloot said...

I'm personally a big fan of dark brown...

And Susan Liechty? Does she have brothers named Mike and Doug? Do we have ANOTHER crazy connection?

Amanda said...


"Yes," she said, "but I thought it was because they were dumb."

She's so right....that girl of yours is brilliant! Who needs blond or Polynesian when you have brains like that?!?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee Amanda!

Barb, OMGOSH, I think so. Is she blond and bee-U-tiful and old? How do you know her?

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

My first thought would have been 'blond' looks good on girls? I was really thinking more along the lines of like ya know, color of clothing, pink, blue...I'm not sure I would have gone with 'blond'.

But that's a male for you.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

You must be right because I am as dumb as they come and BOY HOWDY life is fun!!! Wahooooo!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha ha LOW. High Five, girl.

And Andrea, I know, right! I thought the same thing. And that's what the teacher was trying to get out of him. BOYS!!!!!

CaJoh said...

So often people want to be something that they are not because they think it is better. It is not who we are not, but who we ARE that matters. Sure hope she get's over her envious phase and comes to realize that beauty comes from within.

Kristina P. said...

I have been blond before, for a very long time, and I can tell you that adage is not true.

MaeRae said...

Blond? Brunette? Redhead? Soon she'll find out that it is really not the hair color that the boys are looking at it is their BRA SIZE! I want to be here for that post. boys-they bite!

Momza said...

Everytime we visit Utah, we love to people watch...well, girl watch...entire families of women walk by and you can tell they get their hair done by the same hairdresser or share the same bottle of Clairol...blondes everywhere! I don't know if they have more fun, but MaeRae is's not the hair color that gets their attention.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee Mae Rae. True that!

I remember when I realized that too.

And Momza, maybe they all get THAT done in the same place too. ;)

Youngblood4ever said...

Holy Moly! What can I say... should I be grateful that I outgrew my natural blondeness? Or should I say that I am on the dumb train with you. Haven't been having much fun lately. We should head to IKEA. That will make everything better right?

Martha said...

What I like about my kids being blond in Hawaii is that I can always find them easily. Like at a soccer game when you have to sit super far away so you can sit in the shade, it's so easy to pick out Rach or Nan. You just look for the blond. I hope they are fun, but I kinda want them to be smart and not dumb.

Martha said...

My kids used to say they wanted to be polynesian, but now I think they have excepted their Haoleness and blondness.

OldBoatGuy said...

Just let this oldboatguy tell you something! But wait! I'm an oldboatguy, what do I know about blonds and bra sizes.......

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Why are the Osmonds singing Christmas carols to me? I had to do a double take. I am still waiting with baited breath. So enough already with the stalling. Oh and stop by my place to have a good hee hee hee moment with an MC Hammer impression. It will make you smile no matter how many sleepless nights you have had.

Heidi Ashworth said...

See--this is proof that where you live helps to shape you as a person. So now I don't have to feel like a weirdo when I drive along streets with big beautiful houses so unlike my own and wonder how their lives are different (read: better) than mine.

Lisa said...

I started out blond but then went darker and darker with each pregnancy. I started out smart but then went dumber and dumber with each pregnancy. How do you explain that?

I dye my hair blond now so that I have an excuse for my dumb-ed-ness.

Sandi said...

I hate boys.

Kritta22 said...

LOL I love that dumb people have more fun!

Wait...where does that leave me?

April said...

Sandi's right. Boys are yucky. (Brothers & sons are the exception to the rule-and only when they are behaving!)