It's been 20 years since I've lived in Utah, but it's all coming back to me now--the pride and the prejudice. People here appear to be compliant and tolerant, but when the weather turns cold their true colors shine through.
I hate to say it, but around here they discriminate against coats, hats, gloves and scarves.
The more the temperature drops, the less clothing people wear.
The first day my kids wore their new coats to school everyone pointed and laughed and called them marshmallows.
They haven't worn their coats to school since.
It makes me wonder sometimes if we're in one of Stanley Milgram's psychological experiments because not only do they not wear their coats anymore, they also don't wear their jeans. In fact, since it's now 30-40 degrees outside, they have reverted to shorts and t-shirts.
And it's because everyone else has reverted to shorts and t-shirts too.
Today at Target I saw a lady in the parking lot wearing nothing but a spray tan and a spaghetti strap tank top.
What's, uh, the dealio?
A few weeks ago I caught my son riding his bike to scouts in full uniform and . . . BARE FEET!
I've also caught another son running down the street in the snow in his . . . SOCKS!
And this is not because they are Hawaiian--I could understand that--this is because they are Utarded.
It's gotten so bad that my kids now taunt and tease ME when I go outside with a pair of mittens and a scarf, or wear boots to church.
"It's not THAT cold," they say, yet just a month ago they were saying, "It's freezing!"
I used to try to protect them and force them to bundle up, just like I used to force them to wear sunscreen in Hawaii, but you know what? You can't get skin cancer from frost bite so what's the point?
I came to this conclusion quite suddenly one day last week when I was getting my kids ready for school and found my son sitting at the fireplace tying his shoes . . . without a stitch of clothing on.
I wish I was joking because then I wouldn't have the image burned into my brain.
I thought of giving him my usual lecture about how he should probably wear a jacket, but I just stood there, speechless. And then I turned and walked away.
Some lessons you have to learn on your own.