Thursday, November 19, 2009

We're all in this together

Oh my goodness peeps! 

Last night was YW night.  I was feeling so good about things, like let's DO this thing, girlz! 

Until the stake showed up to train me.

Is it just me or does anyone else ever feel like they're living in an alternate universe? 

A universe where Donny Osmond dances with the stars.  

Donny Osmond dancing with the stars is symbolic of something. I just don't know what it is. 

It's not that he doesn't rock the dance floor--the boy can dance--but watching him dance makes me ponder one of the deepest mysteries of the universe.  

I pondered the same deep mystery when Marie danced with the stars. And when those five Mormon clogging sisters tried out for America's Got Talent. And every time I look at photographic evidence of myself.  

Why the freakishly ginormous smile? 

I mean, seriously!  Me and Donny and Marie and the clogging sisters . . . our smiles could take your smiles down with one lip tied behind our backs. 

What does that mean?

Sometimes I fear that if I'm not careful I will smile my face right off. 

I have the same fear every time I watch Donny and Marie and the Mormon clogging sister's dance.  

And I had the same fear last night when I watched the stake YW prezidency train me. 

If I don't get rich and famous with my cooking blog project or my windex cologne I'm going to start a rehab center for smile-aholics called Curb Your Enthusiasm

(Wait! Did I plagiarize that?)

I can smile like a freak with the best of them, but my poor counselors, bless their hearts, aren't as desperately needy to please as I am, and they didn't stand a chance going lip to lip with the prezidency.

I kid not, my 2nd counselor did more Hail Mary's than a college quarterback during our training. 

I was like, "Uhhh, wrong sidelines, sis! Get'cha, get'cha, get'cha get'cha head in the game!"

When the stake told us we need to start transitioning the Beehives into Relief Society as soon as we yank 'em out of primary, she hailed Mary.  

When they told us we as leaders need to do our own personal progress along with the girls, she hailed Mary.  

But when they said that we need to tell the mothers of the girls to do their own personal progress with each and every one of their daughter's, (only please don't make it a competition,) she stopped hailing Mary and started screaming, "I've got to get out of here!" at the top of her lungs before racing from the room. 

(She's pregnant though, and you know how pregnant women are.)

I personally think screaming and running from a room is inappropriate so instead I made like a school girl and giggled. 

Unfortunately, before I could get a handle on it I was giggling my guts out.  And then I had a sudden urge to suck on helium and sing like the Bee Gees. 

That didn't impress the stake. 

But honestly, I couldn't help myself.  I kept thinking about my 1st counselor who has three daughters--which means she has to do her personal progress four times--once as a leader and thrice as a mother--and it seemed like the most heelarious thing in the world. 

At the time.

But just as I was settling down and wiping the tears from my eyes the Stake YW Prez asked me to bear my testimony. 


The first thing that popped into my head was that I know the Bee Gees are true. 

Is that a bad sign?

And is it a bad sign that the training ended at exactly 10:13 p.m?  You know how superstitious I am.   

But I'm not going to think about that today. All's well, that ends well. That's what I always say. And it ended really well. 

The stake brought in the High School Musical marching band and we closed the meeting by singing "We're All in This Together." 

I tape recorded the whole thing so I could pipe it to you guys.  


It helps drown out that nagging little John Mayer voice inside my head that keeps whispering "something's missing."


Barbaloot said...

Yikes---I didn't like Personal Progress on the first round. Here's hoping I don't have daughters and/or I'm not called to YW. It's doubtful I'd do it again.

April said...

Stepfordian I tell ya! The prezidency are there to guide you, but only YOU will know what is best for these girls cause you will be with them, day in and day out!

Now about the smiles....they are like blinding are so busy looking at the teeth, you won't look into their eyes...I'm telling you...the eyes are the window to their souls. If you look at a person in the eyes too long they get uncomfortable because they feel you will find out their deepest, darkest, secret.

I'd go screaming from the room if I had to do the personal progress 4 times!

springrose said...

They just want to make sure you can truly feel what the YW are going thru! When I was in the presidency, twice, they reccomended it but didn't make us do it. I mean come on, the first time I was in a presidency I was only like 4 years removed from YW myself!

Sandi said...

personal progress is the main source of knock down-kung fu panda type fighting at my house. it is not my favorite thing at all. now i am in the presidency and will try to have to change my attitude----right?

Sandi said...

p.s. can't wait to hear that meeting. especially that final, rousing rendition of "were all in this together" hahahahahahah perfect!

Katherine said...

You make me laugh everyday! You should come to one of our new presidency orientations: they last about 15 minutes, we basically say that we don't know what we're doing either, and then I hand them all a bag of chocolate. Are we doing something wrong? A couple of years ago when my daughter was a Laurel (yes, the same one who hates would like her) they really started pushing the YW to go to RS. It made her really mad. She said that she would be in RS FOREVER, so why not let her enjoy YW for the time being? I will see you tonight at the Stake Center!

April said...

Our YW go to RS once a month. The last time they were in RS a lady leanded forward as she stood up and tooted right in the face of two of my YW and then walked out!! TRUE STORY! And we wonder why the YW don't want to grow up! I laughed the whole lesson long...and was given the skunk eye by some women....but the poor YW on my row were traumatized! I hope no one from my ward reads this! LOLOLOL!!! Cause they all heard it if they were in that class.

Dolly said...

I have never had a calling in YW since I was the beehive class pres. I think I will continue to sin so that I can officially be forever a RS teacher.
I think they are pretty sure that I am not the gal they want to be leading their young women. Your stories are comforting to me that I am a woman's woman only.

WV - Cullism - Wow as in Edward Cullen in 12 more hours!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey girlz, I'm in a rush, but SANDI, turn up your volume and you'll hear us singing the closing song.

hee hee

As the Terminator would say, I'll be baaaaack!

Lisa said...

Oh my gosh, you make me laugh! Hysterically!

IWA (e - va) said...

I totally forgot about PersonalProgress...what a downer!lol! Sorry "PP" was like a swear word growing up in our household!! So Guess what I did? i cheated.. and forged my moms signature on a lot of my projects and wrote out summaries of fake projects that never happened and took pictures of my older sisters old projects...and after I was presented with the medalion in sacrament and my name was posted in GOLD at the stk ctr, they took my medalion away from me, not because they found out that i cheated, but they told me they needed to "borrow" it and just never gave it back!... but the lord knew my whole scheme.. so i never asked for it back either! and that's my sad pathetic story about PP! Good Luck.....

wv:So after i wrote this i looked at WV and it is Watthah,(wat-tha-h) hahahahaha ... we'll leave it at that! I dont want to get hit by lightening!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

LOL Iwa, that story is classic. When I told it to my daughter she said "I should do that."

HA! I'm on to her now. I love that you never asked for it back. Ha ha. The Lord does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he!

Lisa, YAY! I love making you laugh. Hysterically.

Dolly, are you going to the premier? I'm not, but if you were I would totally go with you. That would have been a fun girlz night out. And I have a feeling once you settle down you will get the call into YW. It's so much fun. fo' real.

LOL April. That is heelarious. So I'm struggling with the whole RSYW combined once a month. Any inspirations?

I have to admit that I agree with Katherine's daughter on this one. It's funny though because the stake YW prezidency said the exact same thing, "they are going to be in RS forever, so they might as well start now."

I haven't heard any positive feedback from the girlz on this one. But the prezidency said "well, the girlz don't always know what they need."

A valid point . . . but . . . hmmm . . . another mystery of the universe to ponder.

Springrose, how cute you were president twice. I love your wisdom. In real life I see your point.

April, I'm thinking about the stepfordian thing. My sister said the same thing when I first moved here. I've never seen that movie so I really want to now. I think you're on to something with the teeth/eyes connection. I wonder what the deep dark secrets we are hiding are.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I would like to second April's comment. IWA high five girl, I think that is awesome and rather heelarious. Maybe faking your PP is good practice for RS when you can fake your VT. How's that for transitioning?

I think one my very most unfavorite callings would have to be being in charge of keeping track of PP. I called myself the personal progress police. But seriously I doubt I did any good.

And maybe IWA has the key to your counselors problem. With three daughters maybe they can recycle the projects. Just the four of them do 3.5 projects and rotate them around.

And I wonder if I am doomed to helk having never learned to be virtous since it is just a new value, how did I grow up with out it. Oh yeah I am so old we didn't have the YW theme yet.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

HA HA HA HA Nutty. I laughed out loud about faking your visiting teaching and how's that for transitioning. hah ahahahaha

That is classic nutty! At her finest.

But what do you say about Donny. I've been worried all day that you would come after me in my comment box for sending him to my new rehab center "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

Personal Progress Police. ha ha I like that. I'm thinking you were great at that, given your stalking skills. Did you get your photo taken with each girls pp book?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I hoped you would find that as funny as me, I might be under the influence of sleeping pills, which I need to post about my life lesson to not do drugs and drive. but I digress.

Actually I agree with you, Donny might need to curb some of his enthusiasm. Sometimes when I watch him after dances, I feel the his self conciousness slip is showing. Still love him though and really distaste something about Mya and her smugness. Would love to see that smug smile wiped off her face.

April said...

I haven't been watching I can't comment on that....but if I had such nice teeth I would show them...and if I was expected to be perfect at everything I did, I would want people to look at my perfect teeth instead of my less perfect life.

But if we distract the peeps with our dazzling smiles then maybe they won't see our flaws.

The YW thing. They will feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. But the more they go the more comfortable they will feel and in the end the transition will be much easier. We've been doing this for a couple of years in our ward.

Sandi said...

So I'm curious- do your YW go to the whole RS meeting one Sunday a month? Ours just come in once a month for a kind of opening exercise- just announcements, song and my own personal favorite: THE GOOD NEWS MINUTE!!!. They have the Laurel Pres. conduct and then they skidaddle right out of there. I think that is enough- I'm positive that the girls think it's MORE than enough. You don't know how much better it makes me feel to hear everyone's comments on PP. I'm sure it has it's value, but it mostly just causes contention at my house. One of my daughters completed it, one did not. They are both wonderful! Thats what a few die hards need to understand. But don't get me started!!
Happy Friday!
p.s. I am going to watch sparkly vampires tonight with my girls and some crazy mothers (the kind you see on the news with matching t-shirts etc. I can't wait to laugh my head off!!)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH! I can't believe you're going to watch the sparkly vampire movie with your daughters. This from the woman who only a year ago swore on her life that she would be the last woman standing who hadn't seen that smokin' hot movie.

I'm in shock.

And OMGOSH! I am shocked to hear that other wards are combining opening exercises too. I thought that was something that our ward randomly decided to implement to try to get the girls to love RS. It seems to be having the opposite effect so I was going to nix it. Aren't there other ways to get the girls to love RS? Is this a proclamation from the higher ups? Am I going to have to move to Canada?

April said...

............................................................................................sorry...I passed out from the shock of Sandi announcing that she was going to New Moon. It's amazing how peer pressure can affect even a grown woman! hehehe!

Don't move to Canada Crash! You'll have to wear thermal's so unflattering.

And once a month in my ward the YW meet in RS and our Laurels stay for the lesson. (And now cross our fingers that no one toots in their face as we wait for the lesson. And when I say in their face....I mean IN their face. The rows were mighty close that day.)

Martha said...

Every once in awhile I ask Rach how her PP is going. She says fine, so I hope it is. Since I made the boys get their Eagles I guess I ought to make Rach get her medallion thingy. However, do you think she could put that on a resume when she tries to get a job? See the boys can put that they earned their eagle and everyone says how great that is.

Well, I never finished my PP because I rarely went to YW. It was during the week and I had volleball, softball, tennis, and basketball practice. I just couldn't fit it all in. I always felt like the YW leaders thought I was inactive (because I missed church a lot when I went to tennis matches). They were always trying to fellowship me. So of all the YW in our ward I think I was the only one that went on a mission (they were all shocked at that one).

Anyway, I'm sure you are a great YWP.