In Utah, Halloween is more than just a holiday, it's a way of life. People eat, sleep, and breathe the creepiness here.
Not judging! The average person consumes 57 spiders per year in their sleep anyway, right?
I wonder if Utah leads the nation in that statistic as well as all the other statistics. (Is it just me, or does anyone else feel a We're number ONE! cheer coming on?)
(Insert jazz hands and double pike hurkey kick here.)
So yesterday we participated in our first ever trunk-or-treat in the church parking lot and you'll never believe what happened.
The sun came out! It was 57 degrees and no one even had to wear a jacket. My kids wore shorts and t-shirts. And a bunch of bloody face paint (which I had nothing to do with) that made people cringe and look away on site.
Utards have tough skin, but sensitive stomachs. (Maybe because we lead the nation in spider consumption.) In Hawaii my kids would have received a high five or a chest butt for looking this disgusting:
But here people couldn't stop grossing out.
Luckily my twins didn't look as disgusting for school on Friday:
So the verdict is in: My daughter thinks trick-or-treating in Utah is pointless. But I guess when you dress like the above aforementioned, it can get pretty darn chilly once the sun goes down. Especially when you have to walk a hundred miles in between houses just to have people gag every time they lay eyes on you.
The boys, however, very much enjoy making people gag. And they figure if they have to walk a hundred miles in between houses it may as well be Donny Osmond's house, or the mayoral candidates house or my x-door neighbor, Martha's brother's house--houses that are serious about square footage.
So we took our van down to the River Bottoms, because let's face it, people who are running for mayor make home-made root beer and mint truffle cocoa and give out free Vote for Pedro stickers.
And people who live by Donny Osmond sit on their front porch and fry up 1,500 scones that taste better than Chuck-a-Rama scones. And even better, they give out the secret to great honey butter--marshmallow creme.
You heard it here first, peeps!
The very best part about our first Halloween in Utah was coming home and turning on the fireplace and snuggling up as a family to stuff ourselves silly and watch that magical movie, Australia.
Oh, and hearing my thirteen year old tell me we were watching a bad movie after it dropped the "F" bomb.
And then hearing me call him self righteous.
And then hearing him say, self righteously, that it's good to be self righteous.
And then hearing me poke his eyes out with a full size Snickers bar.
(No one messes with magic movies in my home.)