Dearly Beloved . . .

We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. 

Actually, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called Life cereal. 

Remember when I got five for five at Macey's (five boxes for five dollars)? Well I've discovered that Life cereal is a lot like life--too much of a boring thing is a . . . boring thing. 

I've got a box and a half to go (Yawn!!!!)

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone!

Friday the 13th is the only holiday I celebrate on my blog because I love tempting fate. I may seem like a good little dummy in public, but behind closed doors I'm a HUGE tease. My philosophy is that it's okay to be a tease as long as you set standards. For instance, I only flirt with destiny. 

What better day to flirt with destiny than on Friday the 13th? It's the one day of the year I can put on my fish net stocking with my seven inch heels and kidnap my neighbor's black cat. (Believe me, when you're wearing seven inch heels you need a side kick.)  Usually we spend the day walking under ladders and breaking mirrors and stepping on cracks, but today I simply pulled out all the lava rocks I've stolen from the Big Island and opened my University of Utah umbrella inside the house.  

Come hither, Universe!  I double dog dare you.

You don't have to duck.  I pinky promise I won't get struck by lightening.  I was born on Friday the 13th so I'm immune to bad luck. 

Oh, wait.  I was born on Wednesday the 13th . . .

(Never mind.) 

Anyways, since we're all gathered here together let's go on a field trip. 

Let's go doorbell ditch Swirl.  It's her birthday today.  For those of you new around here, Swirl was my neighbor and one of my bestest friends back in the hood.  Allow me to introduce you:

Here's a picture of me and Swirl.  Oh, and there's my X-door neighbor, Martha on the left.  I don't know what she's doing in the picture.

Oh wait!  I think it's because me and Swirl lub her so much.

So you guys go freshen up, grab some Code Red and meet me here in her comment box so we can sing happy birthday, k. 

Martha will you be in charge of bringing the swirly kupcakes, and Anjeny will you bring the kute krafts? (I have to practice bossing everyone around since I'm a prez now).

Anjeny is another one of our friends from the hood. She and Swirl are big time kute krafters. (If I was a kute krafter you guys would call me Utarded, but in Hawaii you can get away with anything.)  

After we surprise Swirl, come back here and I'll tell you a bedtime story. 

And don't forget to bring some kleenex.

********

Once upon a time (this morning) my twins woke up early and actually got out of bed before me.  

Chalk it up to maturity, or chalk it up to the ginormous alarm clock I bought at Target, which I think Target ripped off from the local fire station. 

Anyways, they went from their bed into my bed.

"I had a dream last night," said the younger twin. 

"I have dreams every night," said the older twin.  "About Hawaii.  And Jimmy and Nana. I dream about all of them. The whole neighborhood." 

When I asked him what happens in the dreams, he said, "we play.  At the basketball court. And in the back field. And at the farm." 

Then he shook his head wistfully and said "I see them all, every night."  

The end. 

Sniff.  

My son is psychologically moonlighting with his old pals on Kulanui Street. 

*Apply kleenex to your eyeballs now.