Saturday, November 13, 2010

Billboards and Body Lotion

This morning while I was working diligently on my SAM-e video, my hub came in from his conference and broke my trance. My three-hour long, uninterrupted trance.

"Have you talked to the kids this morning?" he said.

"What kids?" I said.

I had a vague memory of a puppy, but no recollection of any children in my life.

He dialed a few numbers and sure enough, it turns out I have children. Four of them.

We're thinking of pretending to get snowed in tomorrow so we can stay in our blissful oblivion for one more day.

The only downside to blissful oblivion is that I washed my hair with the hotel shampoo and body lotion.

Do hotels not provide conditioner anymore? Is the economy that bad?

So I have nothing exciting to report today. Mostly because I did nothing exciting today, beyond eating the yummiest chicken parmesan sandwich in Colorado--Billy's Old World Pizza: A Taste of Chicago--Mmmm, if Chicago tastes anything like that chicken parmesan sandwich then Chicago is positively bursting with flavor.

The other thing I did all day, (and I should add all night, but not ALL all night, just late into the night, was work on my SAM-e video.)

I got my congratulations email and instructions about the contest and I can't use any third party faces in my video. Not even my kids. I can't talk about any third parties either (the two things I do best). This video is all about ME, ME, ME. Starring ME.

Shutter, shutter, shutter.

oops, I mean shudder, shudder, shudder.

It's a lot of stress and pressure, peeps--like a coming out partay. And not a third partay, either. A first partay.

I hope I don't make a fool of meself. Will you guys still lub me if I look like a dummy?

At dinner tonight I asked my hub how much more he would lub me if I win this job. He said he wouldn't lub me any more. (Not to be confused with he couldn't lub me anymore.)

If I don't win this job I figured out what I'm going to do. I'm going to write billboard ads. I think it's something I could totally handle. Especially here in Colorada.

BTW, just found the conditioner. My bad.


Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Just run into a few things... I'm sure you'll do an awesome video with my creativity! :)

I'm jealous about the sandwich because that sounded delicious.

I voted and voted! Lub ya... even if you have a dummy video :)

Garden of Egan said...

I just hope that you will remember us when you get all famous!
Thanks for letting us know that you have
children, I would never have known otherwise. I think one of them is named Lulu or something like that.
I am very excited to see your video.
I think you will be fabulous.

T said...

Crash is gonna be a supahstah!

I love that billboard - although the very thought of the 181 feet of Aaaaaah makes me dizzy just thinking about it. yikes!

and I bet your hair is uber silky soft :)

Stephen said...

Does third party include animals like lulu?

Anonymous said...

It seems like hotels I stay in never have conditioner. Boo.

Good luck with the video! i want to see it, but at the same time, not. It's like when you read a book and picture what the main characters are like, and then the movie is so different. I wonder if you've got a low sexy voice like I'm imagining or not...:)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Mary. That is so true. I hope my voice doesn't disappoint. I was so bummed out the first time I heard David Sedaris' voice. Ha ha I don't think I have a low sexy voice. I remember the first time I met DeNae. Her voice wasn't at all like I imagined. It was more Ethel Merman-esque. But I lubbed it. It became her.

Stephen, I asked the same question and am waiting to hear back.

T, nope, it isn't uber silky soft. Apparently body lotion has a drying effect.

Garden, of course I won't forget you. Are you kidding me! I could never forget you guys. EVAH!

Shelle, MAHALO! Oh, I keep thinking of you and what an awesome funny, sexy video you would do. Fer reals.

I am LoW said...

I can't WAIT for the video!! :)

Barbaloot said...

Looks like you only need to know 4 or 5 letters to write a good billboard out there:)

lori said...

so, did you use the conditioner for body lotion? hmmmm, i wonder if that would work?

Sandi said...

Aww I just read Iwa's blog post about you. It made me want to go vote for you again haha. When is this all gonna happen?

Kazzy said...

Man, that puppy is so stinkin' lucky to get so much TLC!

katie t said...

congrats on the "email" and billboards?

good. that is what i use to sell in my career days.

so you can create and i will sell