Friday, November 5, 2010

The End (Plus the Ten in Ten Giveaway Post--Day 5 (One More Bloggy Boot Camp Ticket)

The End is the name of today's post, so don't get confused and think I'm signalling the end of the Ten in Ten's. We're only half-way through the giveways, go get your linky fingers ready.

Today's giveaway is a repeat of yesterday's giveway--Bloggy Boot Camp in St. George. Click here for deets. Make sure you comment so I can count your entries. Winner will be chosen late tonight. Good luck!

Now for today's post:

Lulu's life has been spared four times this week. Twice I dug a hunk of rawhide out of her throat. (I know, Springrose, NO MORE RAWHIDE! I get it!)

And then she got herself and her best friend, Pearl, who lives next door, all tangled up in her chain. They were both practically asphyxiated by the time they were rescued.

And then she got wounded. In a dog fight or something. Something bit her. Or something. Alls I know is that she wouldn't move all day long. Do you know how long all day long is? In dog years? It's ALLLLLLL DAYYYYYY LOOOOONG! I was scared half to death and I practically broke my back lifting her limp and lifeless body off the floor and onto my bed so I could nurse her back to health with my leaky faucet eyeballs.

Seriously, I need to upgrade my stone cold heart for a newer model because this one is defective. I thought stone came with a warranty against leaky faucets eyeballs, but today I needed a plumber. Fer reals. The plumber found some kryptonite stuck in the drainage pipe leading from my heart to my eyeballs. Krytonite covered in dog hair. We're going to send the hair to the lab to be tested, but it's looking like pure bred Golden Retreiver.

Should I just delete that whole paragraph? Because really it's just a long and confusing way to tell you that two words make me bawl like a baby. The End. I hate those words. Especially when I think of applying them to Lulu and me.

I've heard those words too often lately. Seems like everybodies saying The End. Several of my friends and their hubs are saying those words. To each other. WAAAAAAAAH! Don't they know those are the two loneliest words on the face of the earth?

Speaking of sending things to the lab to be tested, my brother Stephen spit into a cup, repeatedly and sent it off for DNA testing. He wanted to find out who he is and where he came from.

It's a question I've ignored for most of my life. Alls I knew was I came from Utah--a fact that I kept on the down-low, being as I got tired of people apologizing every time I revealed this information about my origins.

Don't think less of me, but when I was a teacher at BYU-H I designed two comp and lit courses. One was entitled Ethical Complexity and Simple Truth. And the other was Identity Construction and Recontruction.

Identity was always an interesting topic in Hawaii because everyone there is mixed plate, as they call themselves. In the dog world they call it mutt. The Polynesians though, they know who they are and where they come from. They celebrate it through music and dance and oral history.

My kids, on the other hand, had no idea who they were and where they came from. And neither did I. I hated it when they'd come home from school asking about their heritage for a project they were doing--a cultural costume they had to make or a display board of their cultural identity. Sometimes I would tell them we were Irish. Other times I'd say Scottish or Enlgish, but the truth is, I had no idea.

My kids just thought they were local kine. Home grown in Hawaii. Until 3rd grade. When other people started telling them who they were. They were haole (slang for white person).

There are three types of haoles in Hawaii--dumb haoles, stupid haoles, and go-back-to-where-you-came-from-haoles. I'll never forget the first time my now fourteen-year-old was called one of those three types of haole. He came home confused. "Mom, am I a haole?" When I told him yes, he said "Ah, so junk!"

Haole blood is the least desirable blood to having running through your veins in Hawaii. But Portagee blood is a close second.

I'll also never forget the day I learned my great grandmother Constance, who came from Bombay, India, wasn't Indian at all. She was Portuguese.

"What!? We're Haole AND Portagee?" My son moaned.

Well now, thanks to my brother, I officially know who I am and where I came from. And it's not England or Ireland or Portugal or India. It's Orcadian.

I'm a freakin' Orc.

I think I'll just keep this news to myself.

At least until after the contest is over.

Vote for Me
Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

P.S. Lulu is doing much better now. I called the Vet and asked her what to do. She said to force feed her some chicken soup. I had to used a syringe, but it worked! I

I'd like to bear my testimony that chicken soup is true.

(And so is gangsta rapping.)


IWA (e - va) said...

Thank you for your testimony.. like always my eyes sweat a little and it had me laughing!

Also... what the heck is an orc... Im googling it right after this! really there's a place called Orcadian? (is this a joke that im not getting... is there a book i should have read to get that joke?)

Just know that i never saw you as one of those three haoles... Didn't you just ever make a lie and tell everyone you were part tongan??? not even once. I have a friend... her skin looked straight up haole... but she was born and bred from Sunset! I would always lie to people and tell everyone she was Tongan... Most people just went along with it! I would have done the same for you! and Your son! LOL!

GOd Bless Hono Lulu and glad she is better!

IWA (e - va) said...

Googled it and Guess what??? You are a Real Island Gurl! hahaha!

JLPierce Ohana said...

Your haole thing got me laughing- "Ah, so junk!" I know what you mean with the culture too, I got it more when I went to BYU and was on the folk dance team. I honestly don't get your blog sometimes, but this one I could relate to.

Still voting daily!

JLPierce Ohana said...

And Hallelujah for Hana Lulu!

Garden of Egan said...

I'm so happy Lulu is betta~ Chicken soup for the Lulu Soul.

I'm not sure where you come from but I know I lub ya!

Off to sneak in more voting!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

An Orc!? From Lord of the Rings!?

The funny things is, and I should have written this in my post but I was so tired, My dad was obsessed with LotR and he actually fasioned an Orc sword out of some type of metal. I can still see it sitting around my house. I truly am an Orc.

I would prefer to be on the good side, but whatev.

I had never ever heard of Orcadia either, before the test. But Iwa, you're right. I AM AN ISLAND GURL. Fer reals!!! Woohoo!

Never thought to pull that Tongan trick. hee hee

Just SO said...

I'm glad that Lulu is okay! That chicken soup is awesome.

I am LoW said...

:( I know way too many folk lately saying The End to their marriage. Some really good friends. Some who didn't want to but since it takes two, it wasn't up to them. It makes my heart so heavy. SO sad. So stinks.

Glad Lulu is doing better!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

LoW, AMEN! It's so dang sad.

Linds, I had to laugh at your comment. Anyone growing up in Laie will understand, eh? High Five.

Martha said...

I remember one day coming home from church thoroughly perplexed because we were s'posed to bring in a cultural dish that our parents used to make. I'm like .... so a hot dog? My mom is pretty much pure German and relates stories how her grandparents got ridiculed for being nazies (even thought that's exactly why they got out of Germany). So they tried to hide their culture and didn't pass it down. It made me sad.

I just think it's lucky the kids grew up in the townhouses where they could hang out with other dumb haoles before they hit Kahuku H.S. and the real world. In class (like honors classes) I think they are fine, it's the sports that are the hardest. How many times did Rach point out she was the only haole on the volleyball team, and Josh the only one the bball team. That's why you guys were supposed to stay here and also be in sports so my kids wouldn't have to be the only ones!

Glad Lulu is better. It's hard to be in doggy love isn't it?

I wish I could hear the word End ... The End of working on this dumb house. We're still painting the outside.

Soccer tryouts for Rach is this week. There's a couple of 1/2 haoles trying out, some with light hair even.

springrose said...

Glad you were able to rescue poor Lulu even after I warned you of the evils of rawhide! I just googles where you are from, awesome! I am a mut as well, Ireland, Scotland, Spain, Germany and Cherokee Indian. Hows that for a mix?
I agree to much of the sad The End going on all over!! I get to say the Happy Hello to my Hubby this after noon, he has been gone all week. Then he is off to Malaysia for 9 more days in a week.

Stephen said...

Orkney's most esteemed writer, the late George Mackay Brown, summed the situation up perfectly when he wrote:

"We cannot live fully without the treasury our ancestors have left to us"

The people of the Orkney Islands are about a 50% mix of Norwegian Viking genes and 50% natives of the Islands, which are most likely Picts, almost certainly the same Picts that are the Scots of today. The Scots of today have much less Norwegian than the Orcadians.

kasey kaufusi said...

I just tell people Im tongan, they believe it cuz of my last name. Because I dont want to be a stupid Haole!!!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I once had to rehydrate my cat using a syringe. Kind of ridiculous what you go through for your pets, but they do become part of the family, huh.

Ryley @ That's My Family! said...

posted your link to my facebook page again tonight!!!
(and VOTED!!)