Friday, March 20, 2009

My $10 post

So I just paid $10 to sit in the lobby of the King Kamehameha hotel on the Big Island so I can pump out a new post to my peeps.

That's how much I love you guys so please leave $1 in my comment box on your way out of my private diary. Maybe if you give generously I can make enough $$$ to sit in the lobby again before I go home.

Can I just get something off my mind before I begin this post? I don't know how people do it day in and day out . . . live their life rather than write their life. It's so much harder that way.

Since my mom's been here I have realized that when you're living you have no time for writing. 

Just another harsh reality of our mortal existence, I suppose.  

Speaking of harsh reality. Remember how I told you the temple was missing? Well it's not really missing, per say, at least not it's body, but it's soul is long gone.

See for yourself.

So sad to see it all lopsided and boarded up and bare neked.  

I would say the lights are on but nobody's home, but the lights aren't even on!  


So hard!  I can't stand the empty, vacuous, black, inky, nothingness hole in the Hawaii skyline where the light used to be.  It's like a dagger in me every time I cast my eyes upon it's general direction.  It hath cleft my heart in twain more than once. 

What I'm trying to say is IT REALLY STINKS, BIG TIME! 

But guess what?  I got to go to the Kona temple tonight.  YAY!  Me and my mom made the long and perilous journey across the ocean.   

Long and perilous journeys are so much more difficult than dashing out your back door and running 100 yards to the pearly gates.   Long and perilous journeys leave you wide open to the opposing forces of the dark side.  

Don't forget your light saber if you decide to take a L and P J.  

Usually I psych the dark side out when I go to the temple.  I don't breath a word about my intentions--not to a single human soul.  Then after my kids leave for school and my husband leaves for work I start dusting the living room and whistling a merry little tune.  Then when the dark side isn't looking I nonchalantly throw on a mumu, grab my recommend and race to the temple.  Within 5 minutes I'm safe in my place of refuge and Darth Vadar is none the wiser. 

But it's harder to fake out DV when you have to make hotel, plane and car reservations.  He was so onto us today.  We missed our plane due to a car accident.  (When you live on Gilligan's Island you can drive left or right.  If a pole goes down to the right, then you have to turn around and drive left which means getting to the airport takes two hours instead of one.)  

But everything else was great even though we had to buy a dozen cans of Glade air freshener because the rental car smelled like vomit and the room smelled like wet poodle.   Oh and my mom made me buy 100 Glade Plug-in's for the lobby and the hallway leading to our room as well.  

I was handling my mom's sensitive nose just fine until the parking attendant totally took me down.  I mean she really wiped my trash.  Or is it kicked my trash? Doesn't matter, she wiped AND kicked my trash.  I have never been scolded by a teenager like that before.  And I've never had to use my middle finger on a teenager like that before either.  At least not in front of my mom and my kids.   

Once I got to the temple I was back to my spiritual self though.  Nothing could touch me, not even when the cute temple lady kept telling me my clothes were on upside down and inside out and sideways.   I didn't even use my middle finger while readjusting my attire.   That's how spiritual I am right now.

K, but I'm also super bored right now.  Lobby's kinda lame-0 and I've got some more living to do.  

Lator gators!


Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Thanks for making the sacrifice and blogging. You know how we enjoy our daily fix. Well, I can't speak for the others (cause no one else is here...) but I do like my daily fix anyway.

Enjoy the island! (And the one you go back to as well...) Is that hard? Saving you're going to the islands only to come home to one too? Most people say I'm going to the islands when they want to go on vacation and it sounds all super cool and fun. But you go home to the islands...huh. Your way would likely be way cooler.

I am LoW said...

Thanks for the love!!!

You have to check out my blog, even though you are uber busy. I posted pictures of AniC and her hair. :)

wesley's mom (sue) said...

I can't believe that teenage parking attendant would try to mess with your trash. Doesn't she know who you are?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Sounds uber fabulous. And I totally get that pain of living a real life instead of writing about.

DeNae said...

I give those poor sweet temple ladies apoplexy. I think I have temple clothes dislexia. If life in the celestial kingdom involves the putting on and switching around of our clothes on anything resembling a regular basis, I'm going to need a couple dozen ministering angels and 40 square yards of geography to get the job done.

Heidi Ashworth said...

It's so true, isn't it? About the Darth Vader attacks when one even has the thought of going. . . which reminds me, time to renew my recommend.

nevadanista said...

Love the way you kick the dark sides A$$!!!

Homer and Queen said...

Glad I'm not the only one that has the Darth Vader problem!!! I hear ya Baby! Hubby and I don't even speak on temple day day cause we always fight, it is so hard to sit in there when you're mad at your spouse and trying to figure out where to bury his body and be spiritual at the same time...I'm just sayin',,,

Tiffany said...

I hope the light comes back to the temple soon!!!

T said...

I was going to be witty and commenty about how even while busy you can manage to blog something funny - my update is all pictures all the time (darn those mom visits!)... and then I realized I have to go and finish dry-walling my storage room before the parents leave!

WV says sardshel... I live kind of far from beaches, what exactly is a Sard? does it have a cool shell?

SO said...

Sounds like good times with your mom. And how crazy is it that I did not know that there was a Kona temple. I hope the Laie one up and going soon.

Sher said...

Wait, so what happened to the temple?
I just got back from Kona, and drove by the Kona temple, but didn't have time do a session.
It was beautiful!

robin said...

I sooooo need a temple visit because I got my butt kicked by my own kids. or should I say our babysitter got HER butt kicked by my kids which made me sooooo mad. While she was sweet enough to play hide and seek with them the two youngest were sneaking Fritos and lots of Girl Scout cookies and mini Milky Ways from the pantry (my four year old managed to eat 8 cookies).

My soon-to-be 5 year-old was caught in his brothers' room when I got home playing with toys (he was up an hour and a half past his bedtime) and according to brothers' reports he had kicked, punched, hit, stepped on and hurt brothers in various other ways. My 6 year-old when reminded by the babysitter when he got out of bed multiple times that he would not get a pop-tart in the morning (the reward for staying in bed) if he didn't stay in bed said to her "I don't care... I don't like pop-tarts anyways."

Unbelievable. Now you know why I have Serenity Now across the top of my blog. I think a temple visit is surely in order.

robin said...

good thing they ate the thin mints and NOT my lemon cookies... I don't know what I would have done!!!

Kristel said...

Delurking to say I'm so glad you posted from the King Kamehameha. Although we are mainlanders my husband and I were married in the Kona temple (almost 8 years ago) and my husbands last night as a single man was in the King Kamehameha where his family was staying. (I don't recall any stink at the time.) Thanks for reminding me of happy times!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Aloha from Kona everyone!

Kristel, so glad you delurked. I stayed on the King Kamehameha with my daughter when she came with her 4th grade class and I have loved this hotel ever since. The smell thing was a jab at my cute mom with the sensitive nose. She loves delicious smells and notices every smell that isn't delicious.

The Kona temple rocks so HARD. I love it. It is so cute. And sweet. I have never seen sweeter workers. They made us feel like a million bucks.

ha ha Sue! That's what I said!

hee hee

Lo, I can't wait to see AniC's hair. I'm heading over there now.

Ha ha Nevada and DeNae both.

I miss all of you guys. Can't wait till I'm writing about life again instead of living it.

Robin, if my kids ate my thin mints I would have a fit! THIN MINTS are my passion.

Martha said...

So how did the games go? My twins are missing your twins tonight cuz Swirl's kids are at hockey. Poor T was all ready to play today and the other team didn't have a #2 player. She was a little bummed and your hubby said "that sucks". Z says that's the first time he's ever heard his dad say that. So that must mean he was really disappointed.

But no worries they have another match tomorrow and five more next week, so I think we'll get to catch some of them.

By the way my Joshy won 6-1, 6-1 and all the boys won their matches. The girls I think won 2 matches.

April said...

Hey Crash! I've been fighting DV for a while can he be in 2 places at once!!! That's just rude!!! I hear you on the teenage butt kicking too! I had my butt handed to me at work by a girl just out of diapers! Ok, she was probably 16, but the attitude was unbelievable! Lucky for her I dished it right back, it felt so! :P

lori said...

wv- says you really mistedde the temple while it was nakkie....sorry I haven't had a 2 yr old for a couple years and sometimes I miss the way they talk.

If I had all those sprays and scents around me I would sneeze like crazy. Unfortunately I am sensitive to perfumes. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed your little island hop.

robin said...

I'm more passionate about the lemon cookies - anything lemon really- give me lemons with salt and I am in heaven (my mouth just watered).

as for smells... I switched to fragrance free laundry detergent and fabric softener out of consideration for my neighbor who is really sensitive to smells. Most detergents have her stomach rolling. Plus your feelings start getting tender when someone's nose wrinkles when you are around. hahahaha!!!

Mariko said...

Um, I don't have a dollar. I got 54 cents. Can I pay you the rest later?
I just don't even go on that side of Laie. Or I jog by the side of the temple late at night and pretend I don't know her. It would be too awkward. I mean, what do you say? "How's it going, I noticed that you're Nekkid these days."