Thursday, March 5, 2009

How Superstars Learn English

This morning I got the following love note in my comment box from Nevadanista:

What the helk? No new post?

Are you okay?

Oh Nevada, you silly goose. I'm fine, but mahalo for asking/noticing/fretting.

I really didn't want to tell you guys this, but since you brought it up . . .

and don't take this the wrong way . . .

I have other people in my life besides you guys.

Are you mad?

I'm not trying to break up . . . (ahem) . . . and I hope we can still be friends . . .

It's just that besides entertaining you guys, (and famous people), (and the mop and the broom and the vacuum) I've been entertaining THESE guys:

And I've been entertaining other people too--VIP people who I've been meaning to introduce you to for quite some time. And some of them are extremely antsy to meet you. In fact one of them is threatening to walk out of my class if I don't post this photo of him ASAP! I'm tempted to call his bluff, but what the helk, here's the photo:

This is Justin, but we call him Juice Box.

Juice Box is in my night class. He dropped everything to come to Hawaii this semester with his best friend, Jordan who needed to high tail it out of his life for a spell.

The universe then led them to my class for no apparent reason, except maybe to teach me patience, or to teach them that charm alone can't get you through English 201 when your teacher has a stone cold heart.

This is Jordan:

And this is how Jordan looks at me everytime I tell him I have a stone cold heart.

And this is how Juice looks at me when I tell him to pay attention.

"I'm texting!" he says.

And guess who he's texting?


He texts me smiley faces during class to try to melt my stone cold heart, but it doesn't work. In fact, I accidentally lost my phone for 2 week just because of him.

Don't let him melt your stone cold hearts either because you can't believe a thing he says. If he tells you he's French on the first day of class just laugh in his face because he doesn't even know how to say pick your nose in French. (Even I know that and I'm Hawaiian.)

The only thing that sorta kinda defrosted my heart towards him is when he told the class about the day when he was 10 years old and his mom got a phone call that his father had been killed in a plane crash.

(I would never tell him this, but that made my eyes sweat.)

But enough about Juice, let me introduce you to the rest of my amazing students. My students ROCK so hard this semester. I seriously would love to have their autographs (even if I have to forge them myself) because they are such superstars!

I'll start with my night class and I'll introduce you to my morning class tomorrow.

Ama is from Ghana. I'll never forget the look on her face when she started understanding Hamlet.

Adam was in Suessical the Musical and I laughed so hard at him my throat hurt for a week. (And Adam's grandpa lives next door to my grandma.  We're trying to set them up so we can be related.)

These boys are from England so that's why they bring Swords and wear court jester hats to class. (Oh wait, Bryce is from Texas).

And don't tell. That's what they say in Texas.

These are the girlz. Navi (I like to call her Navy) is from Cambodia and she's majoring in math (eww).

Alexis is from South Dakota. She's the only person in the world who has ever left South Dakota (that's what she said) and think about it . . . how many people have you ever met from South Dakota?  See what I mean?

And there is Sitha, every teacher's dream student because she smiles at me during the entire class period.

And Ariel, who you can barely see in the back is buddies with Kai Kalama (American Idol top 36!)

This is Ashley and she wrote thee most heelarious Nacho Libre-esque Hamlet translation ever! (Soul Sistahs!)

This is Somaly, but I've never seen the guy she's with before or since. (Which is why I wrote on his face.) I think Somaly dragged him to class to see if he could help her win the Hamlet debate (and to whisper sweet nothings in his ear).

This is Nara from Korea. She's shy and quiet but she's the only girl in the class who admitted that sometimes . . . oops, wait, what happens in class, stays in class.

This is Kacey. She's not THEE Kute Kasey, but she is extremely kute and she shares my passion for Nacho Libre so she's got an automatic A.

This is Viri from Fiji and she is just drop dead gorgeous inside and out.

Tenealle is the baby of one of my college friends, which makes me feel uber old. That's why I don't like Tenealle, even though she's extremely likable.

And This is J-Boy the Samoan, and Suli the Tongan.  Isn't it sweet to see a Somoan and a Tongan sitting side by side without any ire? 

(Wait, is Suli pinching J-Boy?) 

btw, Suli is Kute Kasey's fiance and Sandi's soon to be SIL. (And if you want to see a photo of him with his shirt off you'll have to go to her blog because I have my boundaries.)

The best thing about taking a night class is you have 3 hours together on a Tuesday night. 

Sooooo, when we get bored . . . we just turn on some American Idol.

And that, my friends, is how superstars learn English!

(P.S.  One of my superstars was late for picture day.  Sorry Sheldon).


Sandi said...


Sandi said...

I cannot believe I am first again! I am a superstar too! Love seeing your students, it makes me want to be in your class and be young again sooooooo bad! I want to know what they were all saying about Tatiana...was it bad words like me or were they nice since they are at a church school? I'm off to my friends to have a wild card AI party...I'm sad that the cute girl with the cute bangs didn't make it back in and also Taylor, but the partay must go on. See ya later gator.

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Man- your classes look soooo fun! Bummed I never went to school there. Do you see Ben these days? Have you ever been his teacher. I could ask him buy I'm too lazy to call him :)

Kritta22 said...

that's what Sheldon gets for being late...not to have all these chicas falling in love with him!

Kritta22 said...

I don't know how it's working but the music is still playing in your comment box.

you have some really cute putie students!!

Kritta22 said...

i love that you know a little about them all

Kritta22 said...

I'll take English 201 over agian if I get to have you!

Mariko said...

Your students look so much nice than my students.
Wanna trade, straight up?
I keep your daughter though, because it's not fair to grade your own daughter.
Did you know, your daughter is eXcellent at helping me edit my poetry. You should use her.
I should totally audit your class. Then we'd see each other more and I could pretend that I think about English on something higher than a 9th grade level.

Jami said...

That's a great class. I envy you them. And them you.

IWA said...

Oh I love Navi.... (I call her Navy too).. and I know Somaly... (i call her molly!) probably because they're both math geeks like me! The guy in the pic with molly is her fiance... we were tring to hook her up with this other math major.. but he ended being waaaay tooo geeky for her!!

I really wish i was in your classes... Ever since I wished i could have been in your HIS 202, I've been advertising your class for you! But im in 315 right now.. i couldnt wait around for you to become full time!

but my ENGL teacher fully punked me in front of the whole class.. then found out she was wrong and then made me more embarrassed when she kept apologizing .... it was terrible!

your poor kids.... I hope you dont catch it from them!

Barbaloot said...

You almost make me wish I could go to Hawaii and be in your class. And then I remember that I hate school and writing papers. So---never mind.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Very fun! Except the part where we can't see the guy without his shirt. (oops! Did I say that out loud?)

wenderful said...

How fun is your job!?!

Sandi said...

I forgot my manners and didn't say how immensely sorry I am that your kiddos are sickly! I must tell KK to stay away from you people, because if strep is going around, she will get it and she will get it BAD. I hope your kids are feeling better and that the antibiotic works quickly. Love the pics, they really do look deathly ill..haha

Tiffany said...

You are adorable, you know that, I am so glad you are my blog friend and that you babysat me as a child.

T said...

NO JOKE - the word verifier says fornmet - I've now officially met all your foreigners (hey, North Dakota is foreign to me...)

you think my family will mind if I come out to BYUH to go back to school?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Maybe you could teach an online blog and we could all be in the class together, but I dont'really think I could sit next to April, becausde we would get into trouble all the time.

Sorry about the kiddos being sick. That is a bummer.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I love it! IT looks like a hard working class. And dang, those boys are good looking. Maybe I gotta move to Hawaii. Wait, I am in my 30's, married and have kids. Never mind!

WV is besides - a real word spelled correctly, weird.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, congrats on being first again! You're giving Kristina a run for her money. Tatiana . . . well, let's just say I was happy she didn't make it through. I think my eyes might break out of the sockets from all the rolling into the back of my head if she went on.

Sandi, ha ha ha ha ha about the deathy ill comment. You are so darn funny, girlfriend.

Ha ha T and Nutty Hamster. ha ha I think this could qualify as an on-line class. You've got perfect attendence. You'll just have to write a research paper. I'll think of a due date and let you know. hee hee

Emily, YES! Ben was in 3 of my classes. We used to be best buds when he was my hubs ward and all my classes, but we never see each other anymore. I don't even think I'd recognize him if I saw him. So sad.

Hi Kritta, did you see all the fabric I'm sending you? Did you? Did you?

Mariko, I think you just want to watch American Idol with me. And my daughter very much enjoyed editing your poem. She told me all about it.

Iwa, thanks for advertising me. Now I'm curious WHO and HOW your Englsih teacher punked you. If she was apologizing in front of the class then it must me Sis G. Am I right?

HI Barb, Wendy and Jami, and MISS HEIDI, did you just say that? ha ha

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Andrea, ha ha ha

You are so cute.

BESIDES the fact that you are married and have kids and live in Germany you're a perfect match for these boys.

Isn't my word verifier intuitive?

nevadanista said...

Yay! All is good in the universe again:) Hey, thanks for the shout out!

This post actually makes me want to go to college. Especially because you can learn English while watching Tatiana Del Toro get her walking papers AGAIN on AI - how fun is that!

Hope all that strep throat goes away, but how rude od you to have other people in your life ;-)

Melanie J said...

Clearly, English 201 is way cooler at BYU Hawaii than it was at BYU Provo. I bet your class is a total kick. It makes me miss teaching.

Melanie J said...

P.S. I think you're inadvertently turning your comment box into a cougar den and I'm not talking the BYU variety.

SWIRL said...

too funny! I didn't know there was an american idol 201 class - I would have totally signed up!

I am so sorry to hear your kids are sick! HOw did I miss that? I mean- I did see your daughter on the couch for the last few days.. why didn't I put 2 and 2 together?? You guys just suffer in silence. I would have been calling you... bring me chicken soup- I'm sick!

SWIRL said...

I don't feel too guilty.. because I am not even in your ward.. so even though you live two houses away.. "technically" you're out of my "compassionate service boundaries" sorry Crash.

I am LoW said...

I love how many of their names rhyme with where they are from. :-D

Suddenly I wish I had students.

aniC said...

i'm really going to need you to stop pretending that there are other people in your life besides us. i mean even go so far as to "take pictures" and "introduce" us to your "class"...thats taking the lie a little far, dont you think? it's really not healthy, ya know. it is ok that we are the only people in your life. really.

sara said...

This makes me want to go back to college (ugh) just so I can have you as a teacher. None of the BYU Provo teachers are this cool!

So said...

I love picture day! Looks like a fun class. If I didn't already know English I would totally sign up for your class ;)

CaJoh said...

Now you have peaked my interest. What all do you teach? Do you ever do any guest lecturing? Would you ever want to come to the Midwest and guest lecture here (you can show American Idol and nobody would be the wiser).

Great to see your fun-loving students.

Martha said...

I hope T feels better and can show them her mad tennis skills tomorrow. I hope I can get over to watch in between basketball games.

Nice class. I hope you made them all sign photo release forms before posting.

Did you see idol and how they treated Taylor? "Yes, you can sing but we don't know the real you." Isn't it about singing. I didn't think she got a fare shake.

I'm trading your hubby bread for some behind the ear motion sickness patches. It should be ready by lunch. Get your ham or turkey ready.

T said...

My dashboard said you had a new post... just one minute old and I thought that FINALLY I could beat Sandi... but no... so I'm stuck here having to comment with nothing much to say... wait, that doesn't sound like me at all!

I don't watch much Idol - but Taylor V's little 6 yr old cousin is in my daughter's class so we got dragged in... only to be annoyed terribly!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

They look like such a fun family of students and a lot of fun!

Could you have at least taken a picture during IDOL when Tatiana wasn't on it? UUUGGGHHH!!! I can't stand her!

And I can stand pretty much ANYBODY!!!


Anyway...I hate cute YOUNG college people...they make me jealous because I'm old now ya know!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Shelle, how's my favorite granny?

I enjoyed seeing Tatiana get the boot. I think I will miss her break downs though. hee hee.

Stephen said...

That was fun to see a glimpse of your life. I wish I could watch american idol and get college credit..