How Superstars Learn English

This morning I got the following love note in my comment box from Nevadanista:

What the helk? No new post?

Are you okay?

Oh Nevada, you silly goose. I'm fine, but mahalo for asking/noticing/fretting.

I really didn't want to tell you guys this, but since you brought it up . . .

and don't take this the wrong way . . .

I have other people in my life besides you guys.

Are you mad?

I'm not trying to break up . . . (ahem) . . . and I hope we can still be friends . . .

It's just that besides entertaining you guys, (and famous people), (and the mop and the broom and the vacuum) I've been entertaining THESE guys:

And I've been entertaining other people too--VIP people who I've been meaning to introduce you to for quite some time. And some of them are extremely antsy to meet you. In fact one of them is threatening to walk out of my class if I don't post this photo of him ASAP! I'm tempted to call his bluff, but what the helk, here's the photo:


This is Justin, but we call him Juice Box.

Juice Box is in my night class. He dropped everything to come to Hawaii this semester with his best friend, Jordan who needed to high tail it out of his life for a spell.

The universe then led them to my class for no apparent reason, except maybe to teach me patience, or to teach them that charm alone can't get you through English 201 when your teacher has a stone cold heart.

This is Jordan:

And this is how Jordan looks at me everytime I tell him I have a stone cold heart.

And this is how Juice looks at me when I tell him to pay attention.

"I'm texting!" he says.

And guess who he's texting?

Me.

He texts me smiley faces during class to try to melt my stone cold heart, but it doesn't work. In fact, I accidentally lost my phone for 2 week just because of him.

Don't let him melt your stone cold hearts either because you can't believe a thing he says. If he tells you he's French on the first day of class just laugh in his face because he doesn't even know how to say pick your nose in French. (Even I know that and I'm Hawaiian.)

The only thing that sorta kinda defrosted my heart towards him is when he told the class about the day when he was 10 years old and his mom got a phone call that his father had been killed in a plane crash.

(I would never tell him this, but that made my eyes sweat.)

But enough about Juice, let me introduce you to the rest of my amazing students. My students ROCK so hard this semester. I seriously would love to have their autographs (even if I have to forge them myself) because they are such superstars!

I'll start with my night class and I'll introduce you to my morning class tomorrow.

Ama is from Ghana. I'll never forget the look on her face when she started understanding Hamlet.

Adam was in Suessical the Musical and I laughed so hard at him my throat hurt for a week. (And Adam's grandpa lives next door to my grandma.  We're trying to set them up so we can be related.)

These boys are from England so that's why they bring Swords and wear court jester hats to class. (Oh wait, Bryce is from Texas).

And don't tell. That's what they say in Texas.

These are the girlz. Navi (I like to call her Navy) is from Cambodia and she's majoring in math (eww).

Alexis is from South Dakota. She's the only person in the world who has ever left South Dakota (that's what she said) and think about it . . . how many people have you ever met from South Dakota?  See what I mean?

And there is Sitha, every teacher's dream student because she smiles at me during the entire class period.

And Ariel, who you can barely see in the back is buddies with Kai Kalama (American Idol top 36!)

This is Ashley and she wrote thee most heelarious Nacho Libre-esque Hamlet translation ever! (Soul Sistahs!)

This is Somaly, but I've never seen the guy she's with before or since. (Which is why I wrote on his face.) I think Somaly dragged him to class to see if he could help her win the Hamlet debate (and to whisper sweet nothings in his ear).

This is Nara from Korea. She's shy and quiet but she's the only girl in the class who admitted that sometimes . . . oops, wait, what happens in class, stays in class.

This is Kacey. She's not THEE Kute Kasey, but she is extremely kute and she shares my passion for Nacho Libre so she's got an automatic A.

This is Viri from Fiji and she is just drop dead gorgeous inside and out.

Tenealle is the baby of one of my college friends, which makes me feel uber old. That's why I don't like Tenealle, even though she's extremely likable.

And This is J-Boy the Samoan, and Suli the Tongan.  Isn't it sweet to see a Somoan and a Tongan sitting side by side without any ire? 

(Wait, is Suli pinching J-Boy?) 

btw, Suli is Kute Kasey's fiance and Sandi's soon to be SIL. (And if you want to see a photo of him with his shirt off you'll have to go to her blog because I have my boundaries.)

The best thing about taking a night class is you have 3 hours together on a Tuesday night. 

Sooooo, when we get bored . . . we just turn on some American Idol.

And that, my friends, is how superstars learn English!

(P.S.  One of my superstars was late for picture day.  Sorry Sheldon).