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Thursday, April 23, 2009

How the Rockstar saved my marriage

As you know, yesterday I was on the verge of divorce after eating a whole McDonald's big and tasty and playing Would You Rather with my hub.   

He's crazy that one.   We can't agree on anything.

My SIL, Skeet posted a comment saying she was on my hub's side.  And then I remembered the time I played Would You Rather with HER and how I had to keep saying "YOU are sooooo Weird!" 

She's crazy too!  Of  COURSE she's on my hub's side.  

But then I got this mysterious comment from a mysterious stranger named Rockstar:

Have you ever seen the Seinfeld where he falls in love with the girl that's just like him. He says, "Now I know what I've been looking for all these years... Myself. I've been waiting for ME to come along and now I've swept myself off my feet."  

He eventually breaks it off because he can't stand to be with someone just like himself. 

Wow!  Rockstar is right.  I'm in love with ME! 

But if I was married to ME there would be twice as many open, earmarked, half-read books scattered around the house and double the piles of papers and projects on the counter.  

And my children would all be dummies.  

And who would take care of the kids and clean the house so I could blog and read and ponder the mysteries of the universe?  


I've decided to break it off with myself and stay with my hub. 


And as for the mysterious Rockstar.  I only know one, besides Jack Johnson, and that's my brother, Dan.  Not only does he have a rockin' band, but, what a coincidence, he's also a marriage and family therapist.  


Wouldn't you know it!  My own mysterious, rockstar, therapist brother saved my marriage on his first try!

27 comments:

Sandi said...

:)

Sandi said...

Love being first. Love that I can listen to your music in your comment box now. Love that you decided to break if off with yourself and save your marriage. p.s. I'm kind of in love with ME too!

lori said...

OH! but wouldn't it have been SOOO cool if it had been that other rock star you know, leaving you great info.....but I am glad your rockstar brother could help you out. (What is it with Hawaii anyway, there are a lot of Rockstars roamin' around?)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, we're all a little in love with you too so no worries.

And Sandi, I WILL be able to make kute kupcakes for your daughter. I will only be gone for 10 days in June. Can't wait to meet her and have her and Kasey play Would You Rather with us. I hope they're not crazy and weird though.

Lori, that WOULD have been SOOOOO cool to have Jack Johnson save my marriage. Maybe someday! ;)

My verifier says banic. I'm in a state of banic right now!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I LOVE that I can listen to my playlist and write in my comment box at the same time!!!! THANKS Tiffany. Or as my twins would say, T.Y.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yes, Tiffany, you did us all a huge public service. Who knew that was even possible no me? By the way, Tiff how are things? I keep thinking about you.

So that is way good news for Sandi's daughter, but when you serve her the Whirly Swirly Yummy Dummy Cakes, be sure to send me a royalty check, K.

Loves me some Seinfeld. I doubt there are any of lifes problems that can't be solved by watching a Seinfield episode. A good question for the Universe, don't cha think?

T said...

Good goin' Rockstar - that's one of my fave Seinfelds...

nothing will ever beat the Soup Nazi, but it comes close...

If I tried to raise kids with myself they'd never go anywhere and we'd be hanging out reading and playing card games all day... maybe putting together a puzzle now and then...

Thank goodness for diversity!

Sandi said...

Wow I sound like a weirdo saying that I'm in love with myself. But I'm glad you feel the same way about me hahaha.
Yay for Kupkakes and would you rather....oh my I hope my girls don't embarrass me!

kasey ferrell said...

Mother why would we do such a thing we are normal girls right...ok no we are weirdies for sure. I mean who else locks their car keys in a running car and finds it so funny and they cant breath or call anyone to help them?

Sandi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandi said...

KK- just be discreet about the fact that you like mustard on your tacos and are humongously intolerant of anyone who can't breathe in complete silence, or that you are obsessed with prison shows ok. And definitely don't let them know that Riley doesn't have any sweat glands in her feet ok.

Terresa said...

You say twice as many open, earmarked, half-read books around the house? I hear ya, sista! If I'm not reading at least 5 books at a time, something is seriously wrong!

Homer and Queen said...

I'm so happy for you I could cry!

SWIRL said...

I'm glad to hear you've accepted your differences.

I personally can't stand that game.. either choice is just so awful.. it creeps me out to think about it...
like would you rather have a tape measure tongue or super-glue snot.

ewww...
I guess super-glue snot.. that would be handy when making cards.

Sandi said...

Ha Ha Ha Swirl that was funny!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Dan is a COMPLETE genius RIGHT? I mean...how did he even DO that? I must be in love with MYSELF also...

And btw...from the post below...anybody that is anybody parties like it's 1999 eating a #1 meal with cheese at WENDY's!!!

Come one...if you're going to do it...do it right!

I'm glad you are back with your HUBs...I've already bought him his virtual christmas present and there is a NO-RETURN policy! So if you decide to date yourself again and your marriage is on the brink of losing...HOLD off until after christmas!!!

Thanks!

Love ya crash and all your DUMMY wanna-be's out there...HOLLA!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

You were looking for you! That's priceless, wish we could all know that before we started out in the world looking for the elusive 'one'. But I guess your brother, rockstar, was right. We'd get really sick of ourselves.

Youngblood4ever said...

WOWZERS! That was intense. Good eye-opener, though. Maybe you took the scripture to love yourself too literally. Probably should work on that. I know Hubby is nothing like me because I would have killed him/me already. I drive myself nuts!

Mariko said...

Your brother's a rockstar? Why haven't we heard some music!

I'm glad you're not married to yourself. Because, frankly, I only have time to keep up with one blog and its billions of comments.

aniC said...

who ISN'T in love with ME?! i'm pretty sure everyone is.
but i'm glad your marriage is going to make it. who knew rockstars could be so wise?

T said...

I'm just hanging out to listening to your "all you need is love" medley thing - but your WV says "bless" - and so I feel the need to bless you with another comment...

do you feel blessed? shoot - you have a good hub and a rockstar brother... that's blessing enough right?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Yes Tiffany HOW ARE YOU? I've thought of you so often too.

Sandi, I hope your girls totally embarrass you! hee hee hee. I'm going to invite Swirl and Martha and Anjeny over for the whirly swirly yummy dummy cupcakes too. Especially since Swirl hates that game. hee hee hee

Swirl that was a hilarious comment. You had me laughing out loud. Which means I was lol-ing. er make that L-ingOL.

Shelle, I can't wait to see my hubs virtual Christmas present. I promis to stay with him until Christmas at least.

ha ha Mariko.

T that was so sweet. You really did make me feel blessed! You da bomb.

Martha said...

You just saved my marriage too, thanks. You already know me and P have nothing in common. That's the secret to a happy one I guess.

And what do you mean you don't know any other rock stars. Isn't my hub a rock star? I always thought he was. Can't you hear him jamming through our windows? And he has a band too. Just because their lead singer isn't too good doesn't take away from the fact that he is a great guitar and bass player.

Good think P isn't like me or I think we would fight over who's better in tennis and stuff. Last year I invited him to some of my basketball nights when we were short people, and I swear every time I got so mad at him for not playing his position correctly or fouling. So now he refuses to come to save our marriage.

Martha said...

Swirl, I cracked up over the snot joke too. That was very funny.

Jami said...

I am so relieved that your marriage was saved by a rockstar. I wrote a HUGE long concerned comment/email/paper but the dog ate it so I didn't turn anything in for your last post but I absolutely was worried. Luckily the rocking brother came through for you.

Tiffany said...

Hooray, a pop up box, I am so so happy to still listen to your music while writing to you.

I am doing fine, I decided that I would move into the big bedroom today, with hubby of course. Now that we have only four kids it is time to enjoy my house. We as the parents took the smallest room to accommodate the kids. Now we are enjoying the new space. Ah a master suite. Who knew life could be so sweet.

I cant believe Dan is a therapist, so funny as I am one too. WE match. And we know each other personally so we are even cooler. I am so glad he saved your marriage so quickly.

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