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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

This is NOT a dream!

Today I told my husband "I can't believe you let me sleep for 3 days straight!"

He gave me a puzzled look.

Then I told him how I felt like sleeping beauty, minus the handsome prince to kiss me awake, and how I had a bunch of crazy dreams about History Day dress rehearsals and soccer games and tennis matches and seeing Iwa at Costco.

When I got to the part about the kids finding carrots and broccoli and Burger King sweet and sour sauce in their Easter eggs he started laughing himself silly.

I was like, "I know, right?"

But he kept laughing his head off.

So I was like, "WHAT?"

Apparently, as it turns out, by the way, for your information, and for the record, I wasn't dreaming after all.

And he has photographic evidence to prove it:








Apparently I filled their eggs with McDonald's ketchup too.

And apparently I'm losing it so my husband, in his infinite love and wisdom, took it upon himself to grab my shoulders and shake some sense into me--with great zest.

"Enough already of the dream interpretations! IWA is NOT your favorite blogging friend!" He yelled, "You DID see her at Costco, fo' real!"

Then he pointed to the stacks and stacks of papers and final exams on the counter and said, "This is not a dream either. This must be completed and cleared out of here by Thursday at noon."

"And History Day dress rehearsals? NOT a DREAM! Our two oldest children are competing in the state competition on Saturday! "

By this time he was shouting in my face like Chris Farley.

"And your daughter? She's also competing in the state tennis tournament on Saturday! This is your reality! WAKE UP Little Suzy! Get'cha Get'cha Get'cha Get'cha head in the game!"

And then he broke into a choreographed musical number.

So thank you to all who have been offering dream interpretations (especially my next door neighbor, Martha, who sent me this link) but apparently, by the way, for the record, I am living the dream!

Which is to say I'm living the vida loca!

YaY me!

23 comments:

wesley's mom (sue) said...

I am laughing my head off, putting broccoli in the Easter eggs is the funniest thing EVER!! Oh how I wish I had thought of something super dreamy like that.

Jami said...

LOVE IT! LOVE U!

CaJoh said...

Looks like you're getting run down and to quote Tom Petty: "Runnin' down a Dream"

Perhaps you have been awake for three days strait… get some rest.

springrose said...

I like how your kids look like it is a fun joke at first, then not so much at the end!! That is so what I am doing next year!! No candy here!

Amanda said...

LMBO!

T said...

since I am still paying for my candy indulgences - I think next year the carrots and broccoli are going to be our plan too!

Sher said...

Wow. Actually, it's not a bad idea, really. We are all on such a bad sugar hang over, I'm not sure we'll ever get over it.

Melanie J said...

Oh, man! I thought my husband was the only one who broke out in choreographed numbers. You should see his time-to-do-the-dishes dance. It's a thing of beauty, I tell you.

Sandi said...

Hmm.. my husband only has a "don't slam the door in my face dance" yep, it comes in handy when you have 4 teenage girls in the house!

DeNae said...

Too funny. There is so much junk food around my house all the time that finding broccoli in an Easter egg would feel just like a special treat to my kids. Poor things. They've grown up thinking green M&Ms are vegetables.

And now, snap out of it! Grade those papers! Stat!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey guess what my verifier says, Vitcomet! A vitamin comet landed in my living room over Easter.

My kids hate the vitamin comet.

Sue, guess what I just bought today (after reading your last post) A David Sedaris book. Can't wait to laugh myself silly.

Jami, LOVE U TOO! And Miss U.

CaJoh, do you always have to be so insightful and sympathetic? Really it's so annoying how you make a dummy feel like she can just curl up and cry in your lap if she wants.

Amanda I just went on a girlz day with your MIL. She said "Isn't it weird having so many odd people like my DIL, Amanda know who you are?

Don't worry, Amanda, I'm sure she mispunctuated that sentence.

Melanie J, we should have our husband's do a dance off. I'm very sure my hub would win!!!!

Ha ha ha Sandi. Four teenage daughters would constitute a lot of door slamming. My teenage daughter just slammed the car door on me over the weekend.

DaNae, you mean green m&m's aren't a vegetable?

kasey ferrell said...

no no no mother dad also does the dishes the dishes dance, and the muffin man dance, gosh dont you remember?

Sandi said...

hahahahaha Kasey, how could I forget?
Crash, did you know that the major leagues are having Jackie Robinson day tomorrow? isn't that exciting? well I don't know if it's all the majors, but the Diamondbacks are so maybe they all are? might be worth checking out?!

April said...

Did the eggs come with some GasX as well to go along with the broccoli? You know for those more delicate stomachs (like mine).

I do the dancing at my house....and it isn't pretty...picture Elaine from Seinfeld...yep! Happy Dreams!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Those eggs really did have some strange things inside! I bet the kids were puzzled by that rascally rabbitt.

I like CaJoh's suggestion, maybe you should get some sleep :)

WV - blegisup It's just a weird one today.
And it didn't like what I wrote so now I get hablepat
Speak what?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, I totally thought Jackie Robinson day was yesterday and I even celebrated. ha ha I LOVE JR so much! It brought back so many good memories to think about him again.

I'm so happy you remembered too.

Skeet said...

"I LOVE IT!!" so funny, although the boys don't seem to be that excited about it. Wish I was there to watch the state tennis match.

IWA said...

I love your kids facial expressions.. they're classic! I dont know what i would do if you were my mom! your crazy....

Wake up Dummy!..(deep down i wish your were dreaming) but yes... I was at Costco fighting the crowds for a parking space and free samples of poke .........
and you were in your cute hat, driving you cute car, with your cute smile, going to your cute home, to your cute kids!

but fo reals... next time can you dream me somewhere fancy or exotic... without any kids... maybe on a deserted island with no church calling to worry about and no easter dinner the next day to prep for.. I wish conference sunday was two weeks in a row... yeah.. next time dream for that.. that would have been perfect!

WV: ketsup.... haha.. Crashes kids got ketsup in their eggs!

I love it! your crazy! I really wonder how much i could get away with putting stuff like that in eggs! This year i went practical with my girls with junk like hello kitty bandaids, sponge bob toothpaste, toothbrushes, panties ....and they kept making comments about having nothing worthwhile to sneak to church to showoff! haha! I told them the eater bunny is in a recession they just need to deal with it!

dadshouse said...

My teen kids don't believe in the Easter Bunny, but they sure do like it when the bunny brings them Cadbury eggs. I'll have to try broccoli next time!

Anjeny said...

That was really funny. Crash, I think you really need to lay off the code RED, you're sleep walking and day dreaming too and poor kids are the ones who suffer from your sleepwalking....why couldn't you have sleep walked into a wall or something....LOL.

Youngblood4ever said...

Laughing- LOTS! That is funny that you said you are livin' the dream because that is actually the perma-quote I have on my FB page under my pic. FUNNY!

val of the south said...

My friends teenage son emptied the candy out of some of the eggs when he was hiding them and filled the eggs with dirt! Not sure which would be more upsetting, dirt or broccoli...

Jenny said...

LOL....Love the look on your boy's faces, as they showed thier loot up for all to see.