I just sang Aloha Oi and So Long, Farewell and bid adieu, adieu adieu to my night class.
It was seriously so sad.
They all hugged me, peeps! They HUGGED me!
That doesn't happen every day. Or even every semester.
Seriously sooooooooooooo sad right now!!!!!
Who am I supposed to watch American Idol with now????? Huh? huh? huh?
Did I mention I was seriously SO sad!?
But don't tell anyone, okay. I don't want people to know my heart is dyslexic.
It's better if nobody finds out I've transposed it from stone cold to Cold Stone and I now have root beer pumping through my veins.
I guess I still have my morning class. For a few days anyway. But my morning class won't hug me. Mark my words! Students have their boundaries in the morning.
I guess there's always the bright side--no more papers and no more late nights drinking V-8.
No more bright-eyed, smart-mouthed jukebox heros messing with my mojo (for at least another week).
So why don't I feel better?
Maybe I'll feel better if I fess up about my favorite student.
In my last post I declared that I would pick April over Benjamin Buttars because she plays college softball and he just plays music, but then I remembered that softball players are annoying.
STOP THE (politically incorrect) PRESS! This just in: Kute Kasey used to play college softball so I just remembered softball players are not annoying--they're way cool.
But I'm still going to disqualify April and Benjamin Buttars because they are in love and love is annoying. Especially their love.
April? Benjamin Buttars? My class is not a romantic comedy and I can't deal with chick flicks at 7:30 a.m. You're Fired!
Raphael isn't eligible to be my favorite either (even though he really is my favorite) because he's French and everyone knows the French are annoying.
And Kyle Kyle? It's tempting . . . I mean you gotta hand it to the guy for being straight forward--except when he's turning his back on me.
It's hard to resist a guy who turns his back on you, but he doesn't love Tim O'Brien and people who don't love Tim O'Brien have a brain disorder.
So I'm officially going to declare Rachelle my favorite student.
You gotta love Rachelle because she puts more stock in movie wisdom than I do. And she can quote Nacho Libre better than I can too (plus she grew up across the street from me, babysat my kids and her aunty is one of my best friends).
Is that politicking? Politicking makes me cry. Rachelle, you're FIRED!
Okay, then Jason is my favorite.
Jason turned me on to Terry Pratchett novels and the phrase "wicked funny." Plus he's always doing exciting things like reading five novels at at time and swimming with sharks. And bonus, he follows both my diary and my Dummies are people too! blogs.
But then he's a sucker for country music and country music is uber annoying.
But no matter. Erin is my favorite anyway because she wrote the funniest pidgin Hamlet parody ever.
She truly is my favorite because her dad is a cop and I'm afraid of her. Plus her mom is the best third grade teacher of all time and taught each of my kids that they're good enough, smart enough and, doggonit, people like them!
I should return the favor, huh?
But look what I caught her doing at PCC. My my! Tahitian dancing is unrighteous.
Bobby's dad is a cop too so maybe Bobby should be my favorite. Plus he's a bend-a-roo and can pull his leg backwards 180 degrees.
He also played Kenicki in Grease (He looks like a Kenicki, don't you think?)
Wait, wasn't Kenicki a player? No players allowed in my heart! (Unless they like root beer floats).
Argh! It's so hard to pick a favorite.
And I'm still seriously so sad!
I gotsta hit the sack. (I'm pretending to post this at midnight because I'm embarrassed that it's much later than that!)
Maybe I can think about picking my favorite tomorrow.