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Monday, April 20, 2009

How girlz day really went down

Remember when I was a bad mommy because I missed that last minute, optional, lunch-on-the-lawn at the elementary school?

Well a week or so ago I got a phone call at 9:30 a.m. It was one of my twins. He informed me that there was going to be another last minute, optional lunch-on-the-lawn and if I didn't want to pay for years of therapy, I had best get my booty planted on that lawn by 11 a.m.

"And bring Musubi!" he added.

For those of you who don't know what musubi is, let me show you:


I'm not ashamed to admit I let my twins guilt trip me into proving my love with a bit of spam and rice wrapped in seaweed.


And with a bag of Bongos.

I documented that I was there in case my twins ever try to sue me for neglect.


My next door neighbor, Martha was there in her Kohls.com pants. (You can call her M-dog because that's her tagging name.)


And guess who I found in the cafeteria sitting comfortably at a table with chairs!


Anjeny, Swirl and Swirl's cute mom, Jane.

I didn't judge them, but I did offer a gentle smack upside the head and a friendly "HELLO!! Lunch-on-the-lawn doesn't entail tables and chairs!"

We had so much fun sitting at the table and chairs that all 4 of us, at the exact same instant, said "Hey, let's have a girlz day next week!"

And so we grabbed Martha and we hit the open road like Thelma and Louis (If Thelma had a 2 year old and Louis had a cute mom and a couple of cute friends who needed to go to Sears and the bank).

I always love girlz dayz with Swirl. Just the drive alone makes it worth it because no one tells a quirky story quite like Swirl, (except Swirls cute mom, Jane). You wouldn't believe the hilarious things I could tell you about Swirl's college roomates, and Swirl's ward chorister and Swirl's X-fiance that she left at the alter.

The amazing thing is they're all true. No embellishments.

Like did you know that Swirl grew up thinking her name was Charlie and that she lived in a chocolate factory? Every canister/drawer/cupboard/plastic bin in her house was filled with mini Hershey bars or candy kisses or bite size Snickers. She even had to brush her teeth with chocolate ice cream.

It was fun to have Swirl's cute mom, Jane along for girlz day because the ride was double the quirky fun.

And the quirky fun didn't end with the ride.

First stop was Borders where I was shocked to find Anjeny and Swirl in the crafting section. I knew the were into crafts . . .


but I had no ideas they were into (what my mom would call) Big-Behind crafts.

When I said, what the what? Swirl showed me what they were looking at.


Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. And just look at cute Jane, enabling her daughter's dysfunctional crafting like that.

Martha confessed that it was her first time at Borders.


And Anjeny confessed that she wants world peace.

Then I ditched the crafting section and bought me my first David Sedaris book after reading this post from Wesley's Mom. (I'm totally HOOK, LINED and SINKERED now, btw!)

I also bought this book to help me translate the universe.


In case you haven't noticed the universe often speaks in ancient Chinese secrets.

After Borders we walked past the pet store where Swirl tried to show us the difference between guinea pigs and bunny rabbits, but to no avail because, well . . . who the helk cares, right?


My favorite part of the day was when cute Jane felt sorry for all the puppies because everyone of them was sleeping. She was sure the pet store manager had slipped them some Tylenol PM.


They weren't real dogs, but I humored her. And then I laughted my behind off at her. And then I told her we better let the sleeping dogs lie.

And then her purse accidently hit me on the back of the head.

And then Swirl was like, "HEY LOOK, that smoothie shop stole my name!!"


I think she could sue, don't you?

And then we all got our walkers and canes and hobbled to the bank and to Sears and then hobbled to Arby's for lunch.


I got a Turkey sandwhich, but this is all I could eat before M-dog started telling TMI about some of the odors emitted behind closed doors at her house.

See I personally subscirbe to the notion that odors emitted behind closed doors, should stay behind closed doors.

It was in Arby's that the girlz bound and gagged me and lit my pants on fire fire and called me a liar liar.

I was totally going to come clean about this post and how Swirl didn't really boss me around or try to steal Kute Kasey from me, but I'm not going to bother setting the record straight after she called me a Jim Carey.


So that's my story truth. And I'm sticking to it!

45 comments:

LiafromLaie said...

SPAM MUSUBI is a kids most favorite lunch... ever.

I too love spending time with friends... and we seem to go to Borders as well.... and in honor of that craft book that Swirl and Anjeny were looking at my verification word is "unders" o.O interesting.

DeNae said...

I'm a little confused. Don't you live in Hawaii? What on earth are you all doing in sweaters and jackets?

I lived in the Caribbean for four years and never got so acclimated I wore a sweater, for heaven's sake! (Although, by our last Christmas on the island, I couldn't do the beach because it was "too cold". My UT relatives were so ashamed.)

The Wixom Zoo said...

Hahahaha! I love girlz dayz out! I need them much more often than I get them, unfortunately!

Sandi said...

Musubi is nasty! Are you sure you were really on this girls trip, because you are not in any of the pics.....hmmm. I would have loved to see Swirl's mom smack you upside the head..haha. I don't get why she called you a Jim Carrey and why that is a bad thing? Tell me more. KK's girl's day out sounded a little more up my alley, but I love your day out and I am very jealous even though you DID choose to eat at Arby's!
p.s word verifier: fologna= I think it is trying to tell us that you are full of FREAKING balogna!

Amanda said...

OMG! Too funny, but so true about Swirl and her stories :) She's the first to tell the most embarassing story, no need to wait for siblings or parents to spill the beans.

Oh, so funny....Swirl's brother (my husband) has enjoyed this post a lot, too...we've been laughing together at how perfectly you captured the essence of Jane and Swirl!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Lia--YOU KNOW IT GIRLFRIEND! Mmmmm I craved spam musubi every day while I was pregnant with my twins. I went to Sam's store every morning for my fix.

And too funny about the word verifier saying unders. ha ha

DeNae, haven't you heard. We have been freezing all winter. Right now I've got a fleece jacket AND a fleece blanket on. It's been the coldest winter ever. Near frost bite temps.

Sandi, I need to check out KK's girlz day. And don't let Swirl lead you to believe I picked Arby's. I've never picked Arby's in my life. I have no idea why she's trying to pawn that choice off on me.

Amanda, back me up here. Tell Jane to tell the world who picked Arby's and don't let her lie for her daughter.

Swirl, DON'T make me come over there and throw a match on your pants.

And for the record, Swirl also lied about my car being clean. It's NOT clean!

Sandi, she called me Jim Carey because I"m a liar liar. Wasn't he in that movie?

Amanda. hee hee. I'm so glad you and your hub approve.

val of the south said...

Wow, I'm really missing out - I've never had Musubi or Bongos. Do you make the Musubi or can you actually buy it?

And that was the nicest thing you said on Heidi's blog - for her to give everyone a hug especially Val (unless there's another Val - then I suppose it was still nice!) especially on a sabbath day when I had to go have nasty emergency dental things done in my mouth. Thanks!!

and the wv: petri
my mouth is a virtual petri dish right now - ughhhhhhh and ewwwww!!!

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Oh my gosh...I gotta run to borders and get the bad a$$ book of crafts :)

And...ANJENY-if you were in England you would be flipping everyone off. Not declaring world peace..hehehe

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey, Lia's flipping everyone off too. I totally thought she was into world peace.

Ah shucks Val. Sorry about your mouth. And yes, I meant YOU!

Mariko said...

I can't beLIEVE you didn't invite me.
But next time we go to a movie. I'm too good for big behind books.

Heidi Ashworth said...

What a bunch of totally cute gals! Musubi. Hmmm, not sure about that one. I guess I'm glad you're not coming to my meet and greet with chow in hand (tho we'll all miss ya!)

Susan said...

I totally need a girlz day. In Hawaii!! FUN!

SO said...

What a great mom you are. And what a fun girlz day out.

I got all excited because I thought that I would finally find out the difference between a rabbit and guinea pig and you didn't seem to care...*sob*

I need to get me one of those David Sedaris books.

wendy said...

Looks like you girls were have WAY to much fun and that is great. WHATZ up with spam in a rice roll thingy ma jiggy???

I am LoW said...

I've always wanted to try Spam Musubi. People are always like, "Eww, spam, I'd never!" And I am always like, "Not even when in Hawaii??? Because when in Rome... or Hawaii..." Because I totally would. I wouldn't eat it here, but if I was there I would.

Terresa said...

Thanks for the up close and personal spam musubi pic. errrr, lovely, I think.
PS: didn't know you had twins, too. mine are b/g and are 5 1/2.

val of the south said...

LoW - your comment kept trying to do a green eggs and ham thing in my head...

I would eat it in Hawaii, I would eat it just you try me.

I would eat seaweed and Spam, I would eat it Crash I am.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Mariko, YES, let's go to a movie. Me, You, Pam and Co. And then let's go to some tai food place and talk about why 1984 isn't a poo-ey book.

Oooooh So, love the new glam profile pic.

LoW, I should have known you would be up for trying a musubi. You are so full of the aloha spirit.

Guys it's the most scrumdidilyumptious treat ever! I pinky promise. You fry the spam in soy sauce first. I make my own like sandwiches. So YUM-O.

Val, I LOVED your Suessical Musibal! That was da BOMB! I look forward to meeting you when I come to Provo in July and I'm going to make you some Musubi, Val, I am!

Terresa, high five on the twins. Mine don't look like twins at all, I know. Martha's got twins too. The exact same age as mine. We were preggos at the same time.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

What an awesome day, dogs, pants on fire and the whole lot! I'm jealous, like about five shades of green jealous. You should definitely make Girlz Day a regular thing so I can live through you!

WV -essrat It's a rat!

Anjeny said...

LOL...I was laughing the whole time I was reading this as though I wasn't even there and you were actually telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I'm thinking that Jane must've been moving at such supersonic speed with the bag of hers when it connected with your head..lol.

And everyone, I'm going back Crash here and say that spam musubi is absolutely yum-o. Not only that but it's also the easiest and fastest thing to make for kids and they can eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner and you don't even have to worry about counting the veggie servings because the thing already comes with all three basic food group.

I like the Val and LoW are willing to try spam musubi.

Oh yeah...ARBY'S was CRASH's idea people....LOL. Maybe I should make a wish to the universe that Crash will not tell a half truth for 24 hrs., what ya say dummy? LOL....you would make the best Jim Carey.

LiafromLaie said...

Interesting that I'd be flipping people off... and here I thought I was doing the "victory" sign you see most Japanese tourists do in their photos.

And I also just realized I was the first one to post a comment... wow... or as my word verification currently states... "torec"... which I'm going to pretend is another word for "awesome".

As for the spam musubi... I think only in Hawaii can you truly appreciate the blue can.... and Crash... the Pukahi's made that musubi that was sold at Sam's store, I believe, and they make torec musubis!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Way too much fun. I feel as though I was right there with you all.

Glad you didn't miss another picnic on the lawn.

Our school calls them family picnis day, and I am pretty sure they were designed to drive me crazy. But oh well.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Oh and I did post about April and Wicked, did you miss it? Just look back about 5 or 6 posts, it is there. It was awesome and one could well imagine. I still can't stop singing the music in my head. Do you think that is anything to worry about?

Barbaloot said...

She called you a Jim Carrey? Well...that's not so bad, is it? I'm rather fond of him myself.

And also---spam wrapped in seaweed?! What? Why has this delight not yet made it's way to Orem?

Barbaloot said...

PS-I'm just leaving your blog open for awhile now so I can enjoy your playlist. I won't say which bands I'm skipping...but mostly I'm liking what I hear:)

T said...

I've been reading the wrong craft books all these years...

I keep trying to like all those seaweed wrapped delicacies, but it's no go... of course, I've never eaten Spam either... can't imagine eating it without replaying Monty Python moments in my head...

WV is a real word again? Bases - well, I think your WV is stalking me because I was just commenting about baseball over at Shelle's... I think I need a restraining order?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I believe that Anjeny really believes Arbys was my idea.

Anj maybe we hadn't picked you up yet when Swirl suggested it and we all agreed. FTR, I have no problem with Arby's.

I always come clean in my comment box, Peeps.

Maybe Martha can back me up since Swirl is letting me take the credit for both having a clean car AND picking Arbys.

btw, Anj, doesn't your daughter look adorable in all the pics. She is so cute.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

If you keep posting pics of cute people, you included, and tan on your posts I'm going to have to come over there and DROP kick you.

I'm going to beg my husband to move with me to Hawaii because I already have my clique of girlfriends there...and I would be TAN!!! One big freckle I would be! :)

I wish I was there...eating ARby's and lying to all the girls! *sigh*

Anjeny said...

Yes Crash, she is cute and too vain for a two-year old. I want more of those pictures, can I please have them? What can I do to get my hands on those gazillion pictures you took? Huh huh? Actually, I would like the pix of my adooorable girl...ahah.

Oh yeah, I sent you an email in your gmail account.

Kritta22 said...

My hubby wants to know why you let your kid eat seaweed??

He says it's weed in the ocean and that's against the word of wisdom...big time!

At least that's why he won't eat it! :)

Motherboard said...

Ummm... spam and seaweed? That's just gross. Your kids wont be suing your for neglect, they'll be suing you for making them eat weeds. ;>

Looks like a divine time had by all.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Am hoping you'll answer - Which David Sedaris book did you get? I think I want to read one but there are two many to choose from.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Andrea, I got the Dress Your Kids in Corduroy and Denim. I don't know what the others are like, but I imagine they are all good because he's such a good writer.

Anj, THANKS. I'm going to check out the tickets right away. I'm making plans right this minute. So exciting.

And Kritta???? Against the Word of Wisdom? What the what? Seaweed has the highest amount of calcium of any food. And Spam has the highest amoutn of spam. ;)

If you want me to really gross you out my daughter eats seaweed wraps plain like it's candy. ewwww.

Emily said...

I think Swirl prolly picked Arby's because she gets to eat-free-at-Arby's-for-life because when she and her friends from high school were out and about one night they went to Arby's and Swirl had a sticky glue mouse trap that was under the table that got stuck on her foot. With a mouse stuck to it. A live mouse. True story.

Swirl's sister also might have a few stories to tell! Ha ha!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH Emily, are you serious!!!???

Now there's a hilarious quirky story Swirl never told me.

ha hahahaha A live sticky mouse on her foot? hahahahahh

That was uber nice of Arby's to give her a free pass for life. No wonder she picked Arbys.

SWIRL said...

what a liar- liar pants on fire! I am running over to your house with a fire hose.... !!! that is why I posted FIRST about this girls day... I knew something like this was going to happen!!

:0) and the swirl place is a caramel apple store and have since offered to give me a life-time supply- so we worked it out.

luv you Crash.. but I see there is no way in shaming you to stay on the strait and narrow!

SWIRL said...

OH - totally true story about the mouse... gross... emily failed to mention...she has a free ticket to taco bell...cuz once there was a LIVE roach in her soft taco!

Totally TRUE!
okay- he might not have been alive... but still there and in one piece!

I am LoW said...

Crash- recipes!! Details!! :)

I have spam and I have nori, and sushi making experience, do tell me how and what else I would put in Spam Musubi.

Val- hehehe!!! It's did, didn't I. :)

Martha said...

Thanks for posting a picture of my behind.

Yes, it was Swirl who suggested Arby's. I am just so easy to get along with that I said whatever.

I live in Hawaii, but I don't appreciate Spam Musubi. I also don't like fish, and seaweed is sorta fishy so therefore it's a reject. My kids all love it so we have to make it occasionally and it's a big crowd pleaser for the sports snacks.

Bongo's are made in Fiji and they are like Cheetos but round with a hole in them.

I'm in for the movie since I never get to go. Plus I have free movie tickets from the insurance DMBA thingy.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

EEWWWWW gross about the cockroach in the taco. Bleh!!! Bleh!! Bleh!!

Okay so I stretched the truth about the caramel apple store and Jane's purse accidentally hitting my head. (It hit my head on purpose.) :)

Oh peeps, Jane would never hit me in the head with her purse.

But the rest is the absolute story truth.

And Martha you are so invited to the movie now that you've vindicated me about who suggested Arby's. hee hee hee

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh and LoW I am so going to do a Pioneer woman photo recipe of how to make musubi.

Just for you!

Homer and Queen said...

I did the mission thing in Japan, so I'm kinda picky about my sushi! I would eat it Hawaii though, even with SPAM!

I wish I had a life and could actually leave my house for a girlz day out

Emily said...

He was alive and running around inside the wrapper is how I could see him before I opened or started to eat it

They didn't give me tacos-for-live. Actually, it kind of put me off taco bell for life.

How about when Swirl was at McDonalds and the ceiling tile fell on her head. Wait. That might have been my mom

The Crash Test Dummy said...

You see what I mean guys about the quirky stories! Oh my goodness.

The whole family is full of quirky stories.

I LOVE IT!

I am LoW said...

Oh Crash, you are the best. I'll be anxiously waiting.