Friday, February 20, 2009

Bad Mommy

Can I just add one thing to the list of things a good mother should never do?

A good mother should never blow off a last-minute, optional, lunch-on-the-lawn at the elementary school because even though she told her son she wouldn't be there her son might be permanently damaged and come home with a scowl tatooed to his face because he was the only motherless child eating lunch on the lawn.

I couldn't cheer him up so I asked his siblings if they would please help.

"Don't feel bad," said my twelve year old. "Once I wrote a poem for mom for valentines day. Everyone in my class read their poems out loud to their moms, but mom wasn't there!"

"In fact, she was the ONLY mom not there. I know how you feel."

"Don't feel bad," said my daughter. "Mom wasn't there for my 6th grade graduation when I won Top Scholar and Super Citizen of the year! I know how you feel."

Uhhh, not exactly the cheering up I had in mind. I was thinking more along the lines of tickling.


Thought for the day: It mattereth not how many things you do right, the things that stick to memory are the things you do wrong.

A good mother should know how to buy her child's love and forgiveness. It's only costs $16.51 at the local candy store.

P.S. Brain still clogged. Attention Deficit Domestic Disorder post coming tomorrow!


Kristina P. said...

Do the other kid's moms know Jack Johnson? If the answer is yes, you've got nothing.

Oh, and I heard Jack Johnson in a department store the other day, and immediately thought of you.

You are Jack Johnson. I am the Snuggie. Hmmmmm.

aniC said...

i remember all the times you weren't there too.
like the time i got an award for being an outstanding student.
and the time i had the lead in the school play.
and the time i got second place at my track meet. (c:

but fer day they'll understand.

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Ahhh- we've all been there. There will be so many things we do wrong as mothers. At least it only cost 16 bucks to make it

Heidi Ashworth said...

FINALLY a reason to be glad I don't live in Hawaii--lunch at the school on the lawn in WINTER. Just one more school event the rest of us don't have to worry about, one less opportunity for us to disappoint our kids (b/c you can bet your bananas I would have missed it, too).

Mariko said...

You should totally write your thing for the Kula Manu about being a bad mommy.
I can tell you already I'm a bad mommy. I wasn't there when she started walking and when she wakes up for her nap in the afternoon and I'm there she is as grouchy as heck. "Where's my daddy?" she asks.
There are things that cost $16 at the candy store? Woah.

Melanie J said...

When I was working full-time as a teacher, my son couldn't figure out for the life of him why I couldn't chaperone field trips. It made him so sad. And now that I can chaperone field trips, I feel so sad. Fourth graders make me itchy.

Kritta22 said...

Go advice! I'll have to keep that in mind for when Connor grows up.

Kritta22 said...

I'm with Melaine. I sometimes even get a rash!

Jillybean said...

A few months ago, I got a phone call from my 3rd grade son.
"Mom, were you coming to my dinosaur fair?"

Shoot. The dinosaur fair. The one with the project that he had been working on for the last several days. The one with the huge poster he had hauled to school that morning.

"Yes honey, I planned on coming. When does it end?"
"It's ending right now."

I hop in the car, drive to the school like a madwoman, run into the classroom, and there's nobody there. I walk quickly through the halls of the school (because they don't allow running inside the school) trying to find his class and never did see them because they had already cleaned up and gone to lunch. My son didn't even see me to know that I got there.

Feel better?

nevadanista said...

You're doing the Lords work, helping us all feel better like this.

Bless you my child

Martha said...

When I got home today Nan says, "Why didn't you tell me Grandpa was coming to the last-minute, optional, lunch on the lawn thingy?" Since I had my day all planned I thought I'd send him as a proxy to make up for the fact that I was busy getting curtain rods and P has class at 11.

Because her parents weren't coming, Nan's teach made her do lunch duty and she couldn't even go eat with grandpa. At least Jim got to eat with him and he was happy.

Luckily, I bought her the coolest bball tshirt at Adidas outlet and it cheered her right up.

Good luck to T & Z at History Day at least you're a good mom to them.

Anjeny said...

Aw Crash...I posted about today and I didn't even show up. I was too busy finally cleaning my car that has been collecting trash for the last two months. Your son should have gone and sat with my boys, they were motherless today, too.

And maybe this will cheer u and him up, tomorrow my friend is not going to be with her daughter at the history day district competition so the daughter will be motherless tomorrow, I know that because she and I will be at the convention center doing crafty stuff.

You know that is one thing that kinda bugged me though. Kids seem to be more merciless when it comes to the moms missing out on an event but they couldn't care less if the dads showed up or not, why is that?

I am LoW said...

You didn't come to all my basketball games either. Or my track meets. Or the school play I wasn't the star of but I was a supporting actress in.


WV- defewer- That's right! Defewer you go to, the less it's expected.

April said...

Oh please! My parents didn't come to my HS graduation....tell them to suck it up! hehehehe!! Oh wait....maybe that's why I need therapy....ROBIN...WHERE ARE YOU???

wendy said...

True story -----and just so you know, when you have this conversation with them 20 years down the road THEY WILL STILL REMEMBER THOSE TIMES YOU WEREN'T THERE. Only by then, it is pretty good laughing material.

T said...

16.51 for forgiveness and love...

what can I get for 6.98?

T said...

My parents - seriously - forgot my 16th birthday...

sweet? meh, but it did cost more than 16.51 to dig themselves out of that hole... I think? I don't remember my gift after all this...

maybe tickling would have helped :)

dolly etta said...

Your kids win awesome awards in national competitions and I've seen them play sports with awesome sportsman conduct. Then there is the bearing of their amazing testimonies- the most important subject in life......... all that stuff comes from the awesome mommy vibe my friend. =)

I just left my three kids home alone for four days with some food money to go and fetch their own food at Foodland. They have to get themselves to seminary and church, educate themselves on line and keep the house clean because the landlord has an open house scheduled for Sunday before I get back. They'll totally do it because I left them with my confidence that they can handle it. It's in my moments of "not being there for them" that they have learned this. Missing out on stuff toughens them up and then they really don't take it for granted when I am around and pamper them (which I also do). They love it and show gratitude for it but certainly know that they are not entitled to it or ALL of me. They get what is available and make the best of it and themselves. (I think.) Anyway, I didn't design this parenting plan, it just sort of evolved this way, but it seems to be "another path to Rome" and I'm okay with it because I am not wired to provide a robotic nurturing environment. I AM wired to provide bribe gifts. That one works well for me also. It is one of the "five love languages" after all so if it speaks to your offspring's hearts to get some candy vs. quality time, then go for it!

Just saying, I think you're an awesome mom and I'll bet they think so also.

dolly etta said...

My comments always get so wordy. Somebody really needs to teach me blog etiquette. How many words/thoughts are too much to share? Is the "less is more" rule a rule of thumb? I really don't mean to hijack your blog with all of my autobiographical responses. It's just that your writing is provocative to me and it inspires me to re-live or evaluate significant moments that become cathartic journal notes.

I also really like (besides the entertainment), the insightfulness that can be found in the support that is shared here. However, it tends to trigger some estrogen producing wordiness from me. (I read that the spike in estrogen can cause the rambling/ wordiness that we all know too well from the middle aged women we know.) Anyway, your blog can be addicting. I can see it would be easy to be a groupie and check in everyday but that is not easy to pull off since I am likely to be found out of the house, neglecting my mommy duties. ; )

Do you think mommy blogging will ever become an official mommy duty? I know when scrapbooking became one, I totally wrote that one off along with cooking. Wouldn't it be great, if mommy blogging becomes a legitimate mommy duty? We could accrue some serious dividends in our mommy accounts!

So said...

Wow $16.51 in candy? That's a pretty good deal I'd say.

I've missed many a thing sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. We can only do what we can do. Plus it gives the kids good stories for the couch time later on.

IWA said...

How Lucky you are to be missed! You are loved!

Before Sharyns BBall games she tells me, "You know what mom, there is a pattern to our games, when you are there, we lose... do you have to come today?"

Have fun at HD... Your kids will do awesome as always!

Jen said...

Feelin' your pain over here - from one absentee mom to another.

(I HATE it when ALL the moms but me make it. Stupid over-acheivers).

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I think those minions of the devil otherwise known as the educational system, just sit around and think of ways to torture mothers. Sheesh.

And you might want to drop around my place, another fun medical story for you.

Martha said...

I must be the worst coach of the year because guess what? I forgot the snack on Thursday for the twins' game. The whole team was looking at me, like "Hello where's our snack? We are starving here for our meal." I said, "What?? is it back to my turn again?" Don't I do enough as coach? No, I have to feed them too. Noone should ever disregard the snack schedule.

So today (Sat) while you were at History Day, those same kids who haven't eaten for three days, since the Thursday snack was forgotten, were really looking forward to a great snack today. You'll never believe whose turn it was. Sorry, I should've reminded you, but once again I only looked at the game time and not the snack assignment.

So here's my plan. I told them we are having a party on Monday at the last part of practice to make up for yours and my neglegence. Maybe we can redeem ourselves, maybe.

Sandi said...

I am so glad to know that your child has learned the skill of the guilt trip. It will serve him well later in life.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha I can't believe I forgot the snack AGAIN!

Martah, when you forgot on Thursday . . . well, I was totally looking around and thinking OH NO! Was it my turn again! How embarrassing!

And I was secretly relieved it was YOU this time and not me.

And I didn't even look to see when I was next. This was NOT the day I could have done snacks so I'm blaming YOU again Martha for scheduling me. ha ha ha.

I am back from History Day so I am now going to transform myself back into a semi-decent mother, rather than a really negligent one.

I'm so happy to hear all of your stories and to know that I am not alone in my negligence.

AniC and LoW, please forgive me for missing all of your events. Here's $16.51 to buy back your love.

Kristina P. I am so happy you think of ME when you hear Jack Johnson, just as I think of YOU everything I hear that snuggi infomercial.


Mariko, I can top your bad mommy story. I was in New Zealand when T started her . . . comma. (And I don't mean our T from blogland, I mean my daughter. And my cute daughter favored her daddy too. She always had to be in his arms every second of the day. I even cried about it once since I'M the one who went through all the hard work to get her here. But only once.

Ha ha Melanie. 4th graders make you itchy!!! ha ha ha good one. ha ha ha ha

I love Jilly Bean's story. I've so been there/done that.

Dolly, I love your long winded comments/compliments. Bring it on, sistah! I can't wait for you to start your own blog. You have so many interesting things to say.

I laughed so many times at all of your comments, insights. NHC, I'm coming over. I love your medical dramas.

LY everyone! Im going to go post my ADDD post now.