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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Got Skillz!

So I just got me some serious new photog/blog skillz which I am dying to show off (in a Braggedy Ann sort of way).

And since I spent the last few days in town watching my daughter lose both her state soccer games I will now exhibit my new skillz less through my amazing Jack Johnson and more through my amazing daughter.

But first, if I were an impressionist this is how I would paint what Hawaii looks like from my Santa Fe window as I'm driving to my daughter's soccer game:



And if I were a cubist . . .



And if I were a swirlist, this is what why daughter's soccer field would look like cubed then squared then swirled:



And if I were a realist . . .



Now for my amazing daughter . . .



Here's what she would look like if she played soccer during the early twentieth century.



And here's what she would look like if she were playing soccer in the mid twentieth century:







And here's what she would look like if she were playing soccer in the early twenty first century.





And here's what she would look like if her team didn't have enough uniforms so she had to exchange shorts publicly every time she subbed in.

34 comments:

nevadanista said...

I love the pics! Plus, I think they will make your daughter socially acceptable again because she looks like an awesome soccer player. Makes me miss being that young on the field again...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Thanks Nevada! And thanks for voting for me today. The universe is sending you a blessing from me. It's SWAK!

LY!

And congrats on being first comment.

nevadanista said...

Sheesh, I had to register and everything...that's how much I like you. You're welcome :)

I was first at More Cowbell recently too (that was truly difficult and I didn't think it would ever happen. What does being thrilled about that say about me?). Kristina been slacking lately. Must be the Snuggie making her all comfy on the couch n everything.

nevadanista said...

Where is everybody tonight? Am I the only one still up? Is there a full moon? Am I missing out on something?

The Office was super funny tonight, btw.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

The Office was suuuuuuuppppperrrrr duuuuupppppper funny tonight. I so needed that laugh. I don't know where everyone is?

There's an odd silence. A deadly calm.

I'm uber tired too and going to hit the sack!

Anonymous said...

I like the swirl one, that'd look good on a dish or platter I think.

I like the different photo effects. Very nice.

I feel bad for your daughter, changing shorts all the time. Maybe you should offer up a fundraiser to get them enough uniforms!
Code word: bached I'd like to be bached with relaxing music or alternately bached in the sun.

Kritta22 said...

AHHHH HAHA HA I love the shorts changing!! Awesome!! Now that's a story to tell.

Were you playing around on your photoshop again? Those are pretty cool toys!

Congrats to Nevadanista for first comment! You even beat Crash! you should get a gold star!

Kritta22 said...

Be back in a few!

TuTu's Bliss said...

Great pics!! The cube is my favorite. I've just added some more to my give ALOHA away..it has some great Island goodies like a cocunut dish, island treats and more. Hugs and Sunshine!

I am LoW said...

Love the pictures.

Love the shorts changing. Nice excuse, but are you sure it has nothing to do with being behind on laundry b/c of playing with photoshop? :-)

binks said...

Girls changing shorts at a soccer game? I am appalled. Appalled I tell you. Are those the official soccer uniforms of the Olympic games? One additional pair of red soccer shorts can't be obtained? Should we start a charitable organization?
All joking aside, love the pix. The swirl one sort of put me in a trance for a few minutes. Thanks, now I'm late for work!

Lara Neves said...

So much fun to play with photoshop! I really like the first one of your daughter, and the swirlest one. I want dishes that look like that!

Sandi said...

ohhh I love the old scratched up looking ones. So cool! The whole changing shorts thing makes me crazy because it is so something that would happen at our school because the girls' teams are always NOT as important as the boys teams and as the mother of 4 girls it ticks me off! but thank goodness for spandex eh? Sorry they lost, hope they had fun? Happy Friday everyone!!

Heidi said...

Oooh, the swirly one is so psychedelic! I haven't watched The Office yet. We tivo-ed four shows last night and The Spouse wanted to watch Heroes. HEROES! Sheez. I'll watch it today while he's at work. Oh, wait, I'll be going with him and his class on a field trip to the ballet. Woo hoo! Can't wait. Oh, and I have seriously been wanting to vote for you but I always forget my password on that stupid site! I'll get it . .

Cajoh said...

Such amazing skillZ. A co-worker used that term to me once and I thought it was cute. Too funny that they have to exchange shorts during a game.

Barbaloot said...

Props to the girls on the team that have the guts to change publically:)
I love the cubed pics---very cool. And I have a seriously desire to go play some soccer right now. Good thing I have a game tomorrow:)

Kristina P. said...

Ansel Adams has NOTHING on you!!

AW Cake! said...

Now you just have to work on your drawing skills, nun-chuck skills, computer hacking skills... (I love Napoleon - it nailed my life in high school)

sara said...

Be sure to add "Amazing photo editor" to your increasing list of talents and treasures. Those are some great shots.

The Songer said...

Love the pic of her running! She's officially awesome!


BTW your title reminded me of this song that we used to sing in the 90's and now its officially stuck in my brain... I'm about to walk into English and while we will be discussing a midsummer night's dream, Im going to be singing she got skills! LOL! and the lyrics are really terrible so don't be tempted to look it up or you'll know the trash that i used to sing and thats occupying my brain right now!! LOL!

Unknown said...

you are amazing!!!! is that photoshop? or can any ol average georgie porgie do that online?

lmao your word veri says
gangsta...your blog gives good word veri!

Katie said...

Boy you do have some serious photog/blog skillz! Love the pictures. Your daughter must be great at balancing on one leg. You never know when the ability to change in public like that will come in handy.

MakingChanges said...

That is some serious SKILL usage. Very impressive!

MakingChanges said...

Oh, and I think I threw up a little on the swirly picture. I don't do so good when I get dizzy or disoriented.

Jami said...

Lovely. Oo. Ah.

Jami said...

A little sad about the shorts.

TisforTonya said...

I'm casually going along, appreciating your photog skills - and the "braggedy ann" remark... I think I have a use for that one...

and then WHAM - more near nudity! Poor girl...

and I finally figured out how to register my sad little self to vote for you... but since "T" and about 7 other names were already taken it might take some thinkin' to figure it out :)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I loved the bragedy Ann remark. So clever you are.

LBBlum said...

um- how much for an extra pair of shorts? that is funny.

How come mom's weren't invited to the slumber party!?

My Diary said...

Super funny, changing shorts in public. what a trooper.

Martha said...

Only a Kahuku team would not have enough shorts. Nice pictures. Now take some of the kids tomorrow at the bball games. You gotta get W's face after he makes a basket. He has the coolest facial expressions ever.

Mariko said...

You should be so happy that the soccer team has to share shorts, because the poor basketball team got all new shoes this year. Oh, wait.

What is with sportacism?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey everyone!

I have to agree that the swirly pic is awesome and should be put on a plate. The better to hypnotize our families and impose our will upon them with. hee hee

Or should I say he he, like an evil mad scientest.

Oh the power or photoshop. Actually I didn't use photoshop. It's a program called PhotoScape. I prefer programs with the word "scape" in them as I'm more of an escapist than a shop-ist type a gal. Shop implies work, while scape implies NO work. You get me?

I stole that line from my daugher's history day judge. She kept giving advice and then saying "you get me?"

Feel free to steal it from me if you'd like.

About my daughter's soccer shorts . . . I KNOW!! Actually they didn't even have matching shorts during the season, but for the state tourney they were required to have matching shorts, so the coach was able to dig some up from like 5 years ago when she played. Obviously they were a few pairs short. My daughter did notice that the basketball team got new shoes, sweats and uniforms. Plus they got to have a slumber party in the gym, which the school refused to let the girls do.

But I told her WHO CARES! You got a slumber party with Jack Johnson! Wahoooo!

LO, I LOVED your laundry comment. h ahahahah I am behind on laundry because of all my photoscaping. hee hee. Catching up today.

IWA whodathunk you were such a naughty girl. hee hee

I took Martha's advice and took some photos of my son's face when he plays bball.

See how I listen to you guys!

Martha said...

Hey Josh loves his new bball shoes. They are super nice, plus his new before game shirt and after game shirt, socks, and shorts. Don't feel too mad yet, because right now Kahuku is playing and his shoes are sitting on the shelf because he sprained his ankle.

BTW some famous former Kahuku football player dude named Itula Mili sponsored the bball team and bought them all their new stuff.

Soooo, do you think you're coach's sister could get NIKE to sport the team some new uniforms? If she sold her dirt bikes she would be able to afford it.

Much better to have a sleep over with JJ serenading them, than in the dumb gym sleeping on the wrestling mats.