And I didn't even have to kiss him.
I just had to function.
Did you hear that, Peeps? Today I functioned!
I got up early, paid the bills, scrubbed the toilets, did the laundry, dusted the wood, windexed the glass, and vaccuumed the floors. (I forgot to buy vaccuum bags last week so I had to sweep the floors after I vaccuumed them, but still . . .)
I even washed all the sheets. (Well, actually I lit my Clean Cotton Yankee Candle so my husband would think I washed the sheets. Shhhhhhh . . . )
I still haven't taken control of my hair, but I feel like I've taken control of my life.
I even found my phone charger (after two weeks) so if anyone wants to call me I'm now available.
I think I know why I wasn't functioning. I have, as of late, been borrowing from my sleep to say what I need to say and to do what I need to do, and we all know how borrowed things just hang over your head until you pay them back!
Well, I paid it back this weekend.
I wasn't going to pay it back so soon, but after we hit the open road for our luxurious Valentines get-a-way, I shouted at the top of my lungs, "OH NO! I FORGOT MY LAPTOP!"
My husband got an evil grin on his face and said, "OH WELL!"
And so it goes.
And sooooo it goes.
As soon as we got to the hotel I fell asleep. Then I went to the pool where I immediately fell asleep.
Then ,while my daughter watched a CSI marathon and my sons watched football, I stretched out on the balcony to read and I fell asleep.
Then I took 3 hot baths and fell asleep again.
I fell asleep in The Pink Panther II and I fell asleep in the car on the way back home.
As soon as we arrived home at 7:45, I promptly fell asleep and didn't wake up to brush my teeth and put on my P.J.'s until 3:15 a.m. (which was kind of creepy since I read Amityville Horror a bazillion times as a tween.)
Even though I slept through my luxurious weekend, I still had time to get you guys a present. I'll give it to you tomorrow though because today I need to keep functioning for my night class.
Come back tomorrow, okay! And don't forget to bring some sunscreen and your headphones.
P.S. I need your advice, Peeps. I have these two former students who rocked my world. I told them so. I also told them that one day their writing would rock the world's world. They believed me and now they are the editors of the literary magazine on campus. They want me to submit something to publish. I want to rock their world too, but I don't have time to write anything. Will you guys whisper in my ear your #1 favorite post so I can glam it up for publication.
And it can't contain any nudity or charming profanity. And it can't contain any gratuitous violence . . . or extra-marital crushing . . . or . . . snapshots or Obama almost coming out of the bathroom.