Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Today I made my husband happy . . .

And I didn't even have to kiss him.

I just had to function.

Did you hear that, Peeps? Today I functioned!

I got up early, paid the bills, scrubbed the toilets, did the laundry, dusted the wood, windexed the glass, and vaccuumed the floors. (I forgot to buy vaccuum bags last week so I had to sweep the floors after I vaccuumed them, but still . . .)

I even washed all the sheets. (Well, actually I lit my Clean Cotton Yankee Candle so my husband would think I washed the sheets. Shhhhhhh . . . )

I still haven't taken control of my hair, but I feel like I've taken control of my life.

I even found my phone charger (after two weeks) so if anyone wants to call me I'm now available.

I think I know why I wasn't functioning. I have, as of late, been borrowing from my sleep to say what I need to say and to do what I need to do, and we all know how borrowed things just hang over your head until you pay them back!

Well, I paid it back this weekend.

I wasn't going to pay it back so soon, but after we hit the open road for our luxurious Valentines get-a-way, I shouted at the top of my lungs, "OH NO! I FORGOT MY LAPTOP!"

My husband got an evil grin on his face and said, "OH WELL!"

And so it goes.

And sooooo it goes.

As soon as we got to the hotel I fell asleep. Then I went to the pool where I immediately fell asleep.

Then ,while my daughter watched a CSI marathon and my sons watched football, I stretched out on the balcony to read and I fell asleep.

Then I took 3 hot baths and fell asleep again.

I fell asleep in The Pink Panther II and I fell asleep in the car on the way back home.

As soon as we arrived home at 7:45, I promptly fell asleep and didn't wake up to brush my teeth and put on my P.J.'s until 3:15 a.m. (which was kind of creepy since I read Amityville Horror a bazillion times as a tween.)

Even though I slept through my luxurious weekend, I still had time to get you guys a present. I'll give it to you tomorrow though because today I need to keep functioning for my night class.

Come back tomorrow, okay! And don't forget to bring some sunscreen and your headphones.


P.S. I need your advice, Peeps. I have these two former students who rocked my world. I told them so. I also told them that one day their writing would rock the world's world. They believed me and now they are the editors of the literary magazine on campus. They want me to submit something to publish. I want to rock their world too, but I don't have time to write anything. Will you guys whisper in my ear your #1 favorite post so I can glam it up for publication.

And it can't contain any nudity or charming profanity. And it can't contain any gratuitous violence . . . or extra-marital crushing . . . or . . . snapshots or Obama almost coming out of the bathroom.


Barbaloot said...

Hey-you have Mr. Blue Sky on your playlist! I LOVE that song. It's right up there with Scissor Sisters and Motion City Soundtrack:)

And also---you took 3 hot baths? How did that work? Did you take one, drain the tub, fill it up again...and then once more? Or, did you just leave the water there---take a break---and then jump back in? Hmm.

I am LoW said...

A present?! For US?!?!


I am LoW said...

My favorite post by you, I believe, is when you spoke in Scripture. Remember that one? :-)

Kristina P. said...

Favorite post?? Tough one! They are all awesome.

And Youngbloodforever has excellent taste.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

It is hard to think of a favorite. It's like choosing which child is your favorite. I must ponder on that question.

Yay for you for functioning. I am trying to put the FUN back in dysfunctional, but am not having much success yet.

Sandi said...

amazing what catching up on some Z's can do for a girl! So I was looking through some of your posts to find the best one and it is just impossible, there are too many good ones and I'm not just saying that so my name is on that present you promised us tomorrow! I do, of course, love the cupcakes one, but I don't think that's quite what you are looking for. My next choices are the make someone happy one, and the one about being a repubicat..but the one that makes me laugh the very most, is when you rescued the in-laws. ohhh what a difficult decision!

Sandi said...

um, make that REPUBLICAT!

Sandi said...

cause I didn't want anyone thinking I said rePUBICat. ew

nevadanista said...

You are soooooooooooooooo ins[iring to function like that and still be non-depressive!!! I'm going to try it tomorrow :) I have been Facebook stalking for a week straight, reliving the most wonderful moments of my childhood, basking in the compliments that I still look just the same (or is that a bad thing?), and in general having an out of body reminiscing extravaganza!!! Oh man, but it's gonna be hard to pull myself together and get anything done for a while still I think - still have so many pictures look at live in before this is over :)

I'll have to think about what my favorite post is - I'll let you know.

Anjeny said...

Good for you on catching up on the sleep. Even a dummy needs a restful slumber now and then.

I have a lot of favorites of your posts but the one that still stuck with me is the Butterfly post. I know that was a post you made on one of your down moment but it sounded a more real to me...not saying that your other posts aren't real, mind ya.

I am LoW said...

Oh, and I loved the post in dinking.

But when I said "A present?! For US?!?! YAY!!"

I meant to say, "You shouldn't have!"

Sandi said...

Ha Ha Low you are funny

Melanie J said...

You slept through Pink Panter 2? I knew you were smart!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee Hee Melanie J. I so miss you and I'm going to come over tomorrow and read all your latest hilarious posts, I pinky promise.

History Day and my daughter's brainchild is sucking the life out of me. Three more days until they perform their brainchild.

I'm sick and tired of being a Crash Test Granny to such a demanding baby.

Sandi, I just finished my night class with your soon to be SIL. He's such an attentive student and always contributes respectfully to the discussion.

I LOVE MY NIGHT CLASS. They are DA BOMB! I'm going to introduce you guys to them soon.

Low, hee hee about the present. You are so cute. And about the Japanese hair straightening. It's permanent. You have to get it touched up once a year or something. I need to look into it further. People get it done here all the time.

Ha ha Pat for trying to put the fun back in dysfunctional. ha ha ha ha ha. I love you, girl. You totally crack me up. I so hope your life gets better soon.

Ha ha ha Sandi about the rePUBICat. hee hee. Oh, you guys are killing me.

Where's Kritta.

Barb. Don't tell anyone, but i really only took 2 hot baths. I drained the water first and took a nap in between. hee hee And girlfriend, you have greeeeeeat taste in music. You and Andrea both. And Mariko too. And Melanie J.

Nevada, enjoy your flashback. I totally understand how that can take you out of commission for a spell.

Thanks for all of your suggestions. It gives me some gooooood ideas.

See you tomorrow. Don't forget your sunscreen.

in time out said...

I so needed to read this. thanks for sharing. I think I just need to function tomorrow too.

Kritta22 said...

I'm going to say your Grandma post or your one explaining the magic quilt. Loved them both.

Kritta22 said...

I made my hubby happy too today, I did the dishes AND cleaned one bathroom! We are living the good life!

Kritta22 said...

I love that you got your sleep back. I'm going to go to sleep now too. I'll be back in the AM

T said...

I'm working my way up to complete functioning - yesterday was the dishes, today I'm taking the car in... maybe tomorrow I'll wash the sheets (or go shopping for a candle) and fold the laundry

I'm assuming the chosen post also can't have JJ's Eagles showing? I'm going to have to think on this one...

WV says gambeleg - I've been known to say "I bet my right eye" but leg... hmmm - that's pretty extreme...

sara said...

I don't think I could choose a favorite... If you narrowed it down a bit more or gave me some options, I could probably vote on one.
You're just too talented and funny to try to pick only one!

Kris said...

My favorite post in you 100% VT post. I want to borrow it for our next VT seminar, if you are choosing something funny.

If not, then the butterfly post. I swear sleep can cure everything but cancer.

Stephen said...

My vote is for the movie philosophy one, although many of your MIL ones were good, they probably aren't good for students who can't relate.

Sandi said...

I like Sara's idea, you narrow it down and then we vote :) Thanks for the SIL update--I love hearing stuff like that!

Kritta22 said...

Sandi- I got your fabric today!! YAY!!! First one!
I went to go comment on her blog and guess what, we still haven't talked her into one!!

Kritta22 said...

I'm so excited about this quilt! Do we know a Cari? I got a request for my addy from Cari but it could have been one of those British Lotto winners that is willing to share.

Kritta22 said...

Do you have a myspace page?

I'm thinking about deleting mine. It's just drama on there. I used to get involved with all of it but now it's just so much!

It's all my high school friends that still live in my hometown, all fighting or drinking or sleeping with each other. Who needs that?

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

So do you have to ACTUALLY function for a husband to like you...because my husband needs to like me right now, but I bet he wants me to FUNCTION...but I was hoping maybe just getting him chocolates would be okay and we could get past the cleaning the house part?

What do you think?

And I think your hair is a lost cause with the Hawaiian humidity...I know mine was and I use a CHI to straighten it! But I would walk outside to go to the beach and BOOM...all of a sudden it wants to do the wave!

Jami said...

I looked and I'm not finding it. The funny one that I like best was about Relief Society. The serious one was about your dad, on his birthday perhaps.

Mariko said...

No no no. Crash, you have to write a new one. Anyone who has time to scrub their toilets has time to write something new! That's what I say, because I don't have time to scrub my toilets or write something new, or scrub something new or write my toilets.
I love all your posts too. If you want to publish a book you could just hit print on the whole thing and I would buy it, even though I have it for free.

Youngblood4ever said...

Do you honestly think I can come up with just one post that is the best? That would be like asking me to pick my favorite chocolate candy. If I pick one the rest would feel bad. I can't do that to my chocolates and I can't do that to your posts. They would hold it against me forever!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Thanks for all of your suggestions everyone. The feedback really helped. (I think)

Jami, you da bomb for working so hard for me. LY!

You're all so cute. LY all!