Monday, February 23, 2009

Not complaining, but . . . Waaaaah!

Don't take this the wrong way, because I'm not a whiner, AT ALL!

I'm only trying to relate. empathize. commiserate. Be one of the girlz!

Okay, so I was soooooooooooooooo cold this morning, guys!

It was like 60 degrees below zero, I swear! When I rolled out of bed I thought I might die.

Have you guys ever felt like that?

I had to wear my flannel/fleece robe and wrap myself in my flannel fleece blanket.

But I still got hypothermia and frost bite.

I went to my class anyway though--I'm a trooper like that.

I even wore SOCKS to class. (And boots.)

Can I ask you guys a personal question? How do you guys do it day in and day out?

What's the worst part? The freakin' frozen toilet seat? Washing the dishes with long sleeves? What?

I was so freezing that even my stone cold heart was numb.

Which was good because when I noticed this morning that I had lost another follower it didn't even phase me.

I was like "oh, well."

I was like "later, gator."

I was like "sianara sista"

I was like " don't let the door . . ."


That's what I did when I realized . . . it was . . . Jami!


My superfluous friend? My ta-ta-for-now friend? My friend-to-the-bitter-end friend?

Oh Jami, why hast thou forsaken me?

Oh, it cuts like a knife to be rejected by one of your own kind!

I decided denial would be my best defense so I put on my old cheerleading skirt from high school, (brrrrrr) grabbed my pom poms and started doing cheers in my living room.

"Push it down! Push it down! Waaaaaayyyyyyy down!"

My huband doesn't think denial is cute, even in a cheer skirt. He thinks it's sexier to confront reality.

So this is me seducing reality:

There must have been some mistake. There must have been some misunderstanding. She pushed the wrong button. Her baby did it. Her husband did it. Her neighbor's crazy husband did it. Maybe he held her at gunpoint and made her erase all memory of the crash test dummy.

sniff ! (How do you spell a honkin' loud nose blow?)

My husband said, "why don't you just ask her?"

I was like, "What? Ask her? You know about my abandonment issues, right?"

He was like, "uhhh, yea, come to THINK of it, I HAVE noticed your abandonment issues from time to time over the PAST TWENTY ODD years I've LIVED with you! (And I do mean ODD, as in ODD, not as in NOT EVEN!)"

He's snippy like that sometimes.

Do you think it's because I'm warm? Because honestly, I'm not that warm. This morning I was downright frozen.

Do you guys think I should ask her?

Will you guys ask her for me? hmm? hmm? hmm?

Oh wait! She's back. (Never mind.)

I told you it was a mistake.

Good thing I didn't stress about it.

Good think I didn't waste a whole post over it!

I'm kinda hot now anyway (and not sexy hot). I'm going to go take off my socks.

Oh, P.S. Don't forget to check out The Magic Quilt for the latest entry.


Kristina P. said...

60 degrees, huh? Let's just say I am no longer following you for rubbing this in my face. I wasn't following you officially to begin with, because I don't follow people, but I was metaphorically, and now I'm not even doing that.

60 degrees. Hmph.

Amanda said...

When I woke up this morning it said it feels like 18 degrees out and we're not even in a really cold part of the country...60 degrees?!?! come on!

Ok, I'm feelin' Kristina P. and the desire to stop following, too

j/k how could I live without crash, now? I'm addicted, I'm obsessed, I'm CRAZY!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You ask how we do it? Well, we have heaters in our houses for a start! I'm never freezing in my house. No having to put on thick socks. No frozen cheeks from sitting on cold porcelain either!

So that new-fangled invention called the heater is how we do it. ;)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Kristina P!!! How Petty! Is that what the P stands for in your name? Kristina Petty?

At least it will only metaphorically cut like a knife when you metaphorically stop following me.

And see, (thank Alyson) we don't have HEATERS so we have it way worse than you. I have to turn on the oven and open the door to get warm. Which stinks when you spill teriaki chicken sauce all over the bottom of your oven.

Amanda, YOU go, crazy obsessed, addicted girl. I'm opposed to addiction, ftr, but if you insist!

Hey Ali, my verifier says bedali. What the what? Is there anything you need to tell me?

Jami said...

Um...sorry. I didn't mean to stress you out. I'm not really sure what happened but I deserted everyone. I love you. Especially the real you. Though I've only met you virtually, of course. One day we'll arm-wrestle to show our eternal bloggy friendship.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Yep, all Jami's blogs she follows got switched to private or something. Poor Jami--I wonder if she got a rash of emails. Anyway, if you want to see pics of me and Jami all you have to do is actually read the post where they have been posted for the last week---yep, they went up a week ago today. You must have been suffering from your ADDD or ODDD. Whatev.

robin said...

Waaaaaaah!!!! I'm with you! It's 58 degrees here (which some would consider downright warm and by some I'm referring to my husband) but I'm still dying all bundled up in three layers and I'm crying because I've lost my winter coat!!! I mean really!!! Where in the heck is it???

Anyone? Anyone?

my hubby probably hid it on me to toughen me up or something. And I don't want to here some lame comment about coming from Canada so I should be used to the cold (my friends give me that one all the time) Some of us are just cursed with poor circulation.

Jami said...

The one and only time I was in Hawaii I was getting over a cold and it was 65. I was cold, so I wore a wetsuit-type thing, but the people who actually lived there were in PARKAS, really. I couldn't help but wonder where they got them. Did you have a spare parka? What you really need now is a snuggie.

So said...

I can't imagine anyone stopping following you unless it was a mistake. Now I'm glad you are warm. That 60 degrees might freeze you solid you know?

val of the south said...

I think people who are born in cold climates have anti-freeze in their blood - the rest of us just freeze!!
(I am getting more used to it - now anything above 30 and I only wear a sweatshirt! - In San Diego, anything below 70 and we were totally bundled - it's all relative I guess!)

Tiffany said...

You are so adorable. I am pretty sure it does not get that cold in Hawaii. Come on buck up Crash. You are a tough cookie. Right.

Jillybean said...

Strangely enough, sixteen years ago, Me & DH were on our Honeymoon on your lovely island.
It was 65 degrees.
And the guide on the tour bus asked us the exact same question.
"What do you people do when it gets cold?" (We have a furnace in our house. It makes it warm.
I have an electric blanket too. And I wear socks all the time.
Even though it was "freezing cold" in Hawaii, we still managed to get ridiculously sunburned. In order to do that, we only had to lay by the pool, shivering, for like 3 hours.

Perhaps you should get yourself a Snuggie.

Sandi said...

It's true. I have plenty pictures of me living in Hawaii, bundled up in at least a sweat shirt- but that was many moons ago when I was young and foolish. Now days you are STILL not getting any sympathy from me.

Jen said...

Yeah, I gained two (making up for the two I lost), but then lost another one yesterday.

And I'm not talking about pounds. Although I could be.

And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE sixty degrees! That is perfect jacket weather, and jackets make everyone look good. I actually hate summer clothes. I feel fat all summer. I'm already dreading t-shirts and capris.

I could never live in Hawaii.

Sandi said...

I was all ready to send this note to Jami:
Dear Jami do you like Crash? Mark yes or no.
But she came back- or she never really left so I guess we already know the answer!

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

I know your pain all too well but I didn't get a happy ending. Jami left me too. She was one of my first followers which makes the hurt so much more surreal. :)

Welp...I guess I suck!

Jami said...

Um...sorry Emily Anne. I had no idea you even knew I existed. Or that I'd left. I'm back. We're good now. Right?

Anyone else? I've got a blog reader and I'm not afraid to use it.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee Sandi about the note you were going to write. We are so on the same page. (And YOU R a total superstar, girlfriend. I wrote that in a comment on my last post, but it appears it didn't get posted and I haven't yet mustered the energy to rewrite it.

Emily, you do not SUCK at all. YOU are a total SUPERSTAR too! I bet Jami will be back following you soon. She better! Or I'll definitely have to arm wrestle her.

Okay, can I just say that I'm totally loving all the semi-compassion for crash stories. All the Crash-you-ARE-one-of-the-girlz. I feel so loved. (except by Kristina P.)

I agree with you all that I should get a snuggi.

I giggle at the thought of Jilly bean shivering for 3 hours to get sunburned. hee hee

When you live here for 16 years you don't think much about getting tan. You would never shiver for 3 hours to get tan. Instead you worry about getting skin cancer so you slather SPF 50 on and walk around under an umbrella.

LY everyone! So happy Jami and I have resolved our conflict. I forgave her her betrayal. Now I hope she forgive me spreading ugly untruths about her behind her back around the bloggernacle.

hee hee J/K, Jami. I only shared my pain with my twin, Shelle. I always run right to her when I lose a follower and she gives me candy.

Jami said...

I hope I can sleep tonight with all the guilt eating me up. Please just forgive me one and all. I'm tired.

Melanie J said...

Yeah, it's really hard when it drops below 60. Like, devastating even. Sock weather depresses me. Hello, I live at the beach. Aren't I supposed to be able to do everything, like grocery shopping and stuff, in a swimsuit? I'm trying it tomorrow. Look out, Albertson's.

I am LoW said...

I still have 8 followers. It doesn't bother me that you complain about cold, but that you complain about followers when you have SO many! :-P~

JustRandi said...

Wait - how do you possibly keep track of which one of your EIGHTY followers dropped off?
Is there somewhere it tells you, or do you have a brain of steel!?

sara said...

I hear you Crash. I get cold when it's approximatly 66 degrees. (And I grew up in Minnesota where average winter temp is -15)

Youngblood4ever said...

OMGOSH! She totally dissed me too! But all is good now and we have got it straightened out. Total mistake. I mean, Jami left me to having only 13 followers. Which I know is just wrong when I ONLY have a few people who enjoy my blog or at least have pitty on my and follow my blog. But, all is fixed.

Oh, I came up with another Jack for you. HUGH JACKMAN. Okay, so the Jack is in his last name, but you didn't specify. And he is totally yummy, don't you think?

ps- still hate the cold. After more than 10 years it still is stinky. That is why I am living vicariously through you in Hawaii!

T said...

WV says lautede... I always thought it was spelled LahDeeDah... but hey, works for me...

and really - I am still working on the quilt thing... really!

Hmmm... maybe if I could lose a pound for every follower I gained... I'm going to work on that one... because I'm afraid if I lost a follower I'd have to pig out!!!

Sher said...

You are whining about 60 degrees?!
I woke up this morning and celebrated because it's UP to 50 degrees today! Yeah!!

I've seen a lot of people talk about losing followers, me included.
I think there is something wrong with google and the follower program.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oooh Melanie, I wish I was a fly on the wall at Albertsons. Here at Foodland on the North Shore everyone goes shopping in their swimsuits.

LO, MY GOODNESS GIRL! First, you should have MORE than 8 followers because you're so cute. Get out there and pound the pavement, girlfriend. Beg and plead if you have to, or put Zoe on it. Second, It's NOT about how many followers I do or don't have, it's about losing followers. You haven't lost any yet so you can't relate to the rejection yet. Talk to me when you only have 7 or 6 or 3.

But honestly I am calloused now to it. Whatever. Follower/shmollower. I figured out it was Jami because she follows my CTD are People Too site too, which only has 2 followers (SO THERE!) When I saw she was AWOL from that list I knew something was up.

FTR, I never really doubted her. hee hee. Soul Sistahs fo'eva!

I'm with Sher, there's something wrong with Google.

That's what I'm talkin' about. hee hee

IT CAN'T BE ME! "Push it down, push it down . . . Waaaaaayyyyyy down!"

♥georgie♥ said...

I lost 7 followers and thought geesh was it the love dare? then I realized it was all bloggers ima whiner even in other peeps comment boxes...forgive please

Martha said...

I think this is the coldest year I can remember out of my 20 odd years in Hawaii. I had to wear socks around the house the other day. Adam had to buy one of those thick warm wet suit tops w/ long sleeves. But, he still goes surfing every day because it's more fun than getting nagged by his mom if he stays home. We are so suffering here.

Lara said...

Listen, I totally empathize with you. As an Arizona girl who had to move to Utah. It isn't fun. Not a bit.

But, having a heater does help. :)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Oh yea...that's NOTHING...I lost ANOTHER follower...I had a blog burial for them all!

Talk about abandonment issues...who knew that people had a THING against bull riding and the UFC???

Honestly...I don't need them...I just REALLY rEALLY want them back, my blog was all warm and cozy almost up to a 100 followers and NOW...NOW...I'm 4 more down...

Which makes me down

and sad, that I couldn't uplift their lives in the bloggin world for the better so they needed to give up on me!

DITING is what my WV you think that means stop DITING around worrying about it? Or do you think DITING is a swear word in Antartica?

I am LoW said...

I am UP 2 followers!!!


I am at 10!!


Just had to come share!


WV- luttleve, I hope that doesn't mean "let leave", cause I don't want to let anyone leave!

Sandi said...

Hey Low I am one of your new followers. I think you should send me a prize.

dolly etta said...

I laughed so much in this post. You were so funny but I wish it had been boring because you are getting me addicted...... I try not to peek in regularly because I need to focus on my next big move and packing. I am easily distracted but I really need to focus because we got our Saudi visas yesterday and I booked our tickets today and now I am feeling a bit panicked. March 4th is now less than nine days away! WAAAAHHHH. (Me whining.)

I so admire you because you are not a whiner. I have been known to be a whiner from time to time and it's not becoming, I've learned. If I were a blogger, I would have lost all of my followers because the whine that would inevitably have been shared there is not the fun kind that you get tipsy with.

Now you are starting to freak me out about the whole follower/ego thing. I'm not sure I want that pressure.

My blog is just going to be my journal but jazzed up for fun. I'm sure my new experiences in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia will need to be jazzed up. What will be interesting about losing my identity and freedom as a woman? I'm sure gonna get to know my family a lot better since my life will mostly be in my home! The new Domestic Dolly! I don't know how it's gonna work but oh, well, here I go.........

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH, Dolly Etta!!! I can't believe you are leaving in less than 9 days. I cry. I cry. I cry.

How shall we live without you and your boys? Who will my daughter go to the prom with? hee hee j/k.

Can I help you pack and then post about it? he he

Start your blog right away. We need to see inside Saudi. We need to know the inner workings of the inner workings of the under belly of that culture. I will work my hands to the bone to get your followers and stroke your ego, but eventually you have to let all that go and just say WHO CARES! OH WELL! I write because I breathe and if I am but a lone voice in the wilderness (or desert in your case) so be it.

You will have so many things to say and so many ways to say them.

(Just don't whine!) ;)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

YAY LO! YAY Sandi! I'm going to give you a prize. I mean, Lo is going to give you a prize.

And Shelle, it's probably a google error. YES! I'm sure that's it.

And anyway, you don't need them. You are awesome, even with your addiction to bullriding. It just adds a new dimension to your quirky cuteness.

LY Shelle! May the universe get you to 100 soon!