Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Rainbows and Butterflies ( . . . and flies)

I'm trying to clean out my draft box so I think I'm going to post the action shots of my MIL swatting flies today.

It's not because I miss my MIL. It's because I miss poking my MIL in the eye. I miss being a wolf in sheep's clothing and cooing softly in her ear, "Oh my, what big eyes you have."

And then pouncing on her with my camera and my evil-mad-scientist cackle, "The better to poke you with my dear!"

I do kinda miss the good ole days when they were here--especially the good old days when they were here yet they weren't here, (if you catch my drift). I'm talking about the days when they moved out and stayed in an enchanted beach house full of rainbows and butterflies.

I'm not over-exaggerating, peeps. This was their view of them.

My hub and I would go to the enchanted beach house every day for lunch just to sit and watch the waves hula dance and the butterflies hula prance under the rainbows until we were sufficiently mesmorized.

Once we were under (the spell), my MIL would begin spinning stories over Subway sandwiches about their latest encounters with the rainbows and the butterfies.

I had no idea rainbows came in so many shapes and sizes--double wide load, extra thick and creamy, crisp and clean w/no caffeine.

One time my ILs were walking on the beach and they followed the rainbow all the way to the end. They actually found the end of the rainbow. And guess what was waiting there for them?

Nothing. NO pot of gold.

It was just them (and a girl in a bikini with the tighest abs they'd ever seen). The rainbow stopped right at their feet.

"WE are the pot of gold!" My MIL exclaimed.

I almost choked on my cold cut combo when she broke the news.

There was only one problem with their charmed life.

The flies.

They say there is a fly in every ointment, and their ointment was no exception.

In fact, the only thing I ever saw them fist fight over was who who moved the fly swatter.

Honest to pete, they would get rough and tumble over it.

But I have to hand it to my MIL for how feircely protective she is of her husband. If a fly landed on him my MIL would grab that fly swatter and whack-a-mole the living life right out of it/him.

Do you want to see what it looked like?

First you must imagine this window sil as my FIL's face.

Scroll through that again at super-sonic speed.

Now scroll through it at super-sonic-speed while listening to track 49, Point of Extinction.

Now drink a Code Red Mountain Dew, then scroll through it again at super-sonic-speed while listening to track 49.

Trippy, huh!?

P.S. check out The Magic Quilt for the latest entry. All this magic is making me excited! And I do nice things when I'm excited so keep sending your entries.


Kristina P. said...

Those are the funniest pictures of your MIL! What a good sport! She looks like a really nice Dummy.

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Hahahahaha- I've been waiting for those pics. I love the look on her face. LOL- I can't stop laughing :)

Oh- and you know what's funny. You know how you said about changing the title of my last post. I was TOTALLY going to use that title, it was up and everything and then my hubby saw it and was all weird saying no one would understand. I KNEW I should have listened to my own instincts.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha ha Emily. I can't believe that! Your hubby is too conservative--hee hee. Take it from a dummy.

And ha ha Kristina P. She is a real nice dummy. I've said so myself many times.

hee hee

My verifier says addhulat

Where's T? T, you need to add hula!

T said...

I can hear the bwahahahahaha right now... love the pix!

T said...

can I really add Hula? I learned a Hula to "We're going to the Hukilau" once back in 3rd grade - if it makes you happy I'll do that tonight... though I'm pretty sure it will wreck any romance for the week!

Heidi Ashworth said...

My mother treats flies the same--it doesn't matter if it is on the sill or on your plate of food or on your nose--nothing is sacred when there are flies to be swatted. Swat! Bam! goes your plate of food on the ground .. we had to take the swatter away from her.

Sandi said...

I think you need your MIL to come and take care of your surfer dude cockroach!

springrose said...

She looked like she was haveing fun! Did she finally kill it?!

springrose said...

Just so you know, I'm the one who sent the Holly Hobbie story! Sorry I forgot to sign it. I'm so used to my blog just signing it for me!! My bad!
Glad you love Holly Hobbie to, Sorry I couldn't find any matching fabric to my blanket. And I'm not willing to cut it up! Sorry!!

So said...

Flies fear her! I would. Love the pics.

Mariko said...

So glad you found us some Mason Jennings to rock out to.
Just so you know now, I'm skipping school tomorrow so I can be sick without having to listen to a bunch of teenagers tell me they need A's, and not listen to a bunch of other teenagers chew gum. 'Cause they're loud.
They ARE the end of the rainbow, especially with those fly swatting skills. Man. You just can't MAKE that stuff up.
Triple C sandwiches and IL's at the end of the rainbow. How could your life get any funnier?

Annie Valentine said...

She looks delighted with her fly swatter. Man, I wish I could write my MIL's name without Hell raining down on me. I can't even mention her existence (good or bad) without a major freak attack.

Barbaloot said...

You so love your MIL. You try to hide it, but I'm not fooled.

Also--I wanna come to Hawaii and stay in the enchanted beach house.

nevadanista said...

hahaha! The last pic is the same face your MIL was making in her Rock Band pic :D Love that happy manic look!

The Wixom Zoo said...

When we first moved into our house there were flies EVERYWHERE! The would sit on the ceiling of the front porch and just wait for us to open the door so that they could zip right in. What did I learn? Flies are smart. And sneaky.

SWIRL said...

I love the contrasting pictures.. you see the beauty of hawaii... get everyone tranquil.. calm and relaxed then {wham!} the insects attack.

It's their home too people! Insects love warm weather as much as we do..

also- I think now I know- I'm gonna stop chasing rainbows.

Jami said...

I have had the "fly must die" reaction. Still I lol-ed at your description.

And I lost my follower of the week chance. Curses! I'll have to be very, very repentant.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

My verifier says slide. My MIL let that fly slide. She never did kill it.

And she let me slide too, for being so irreverent towards her.

She really is a real nice dummy. And a good sport.

Ha ha Swirl. I stopped chasing rainbows when I heard the news too.

Mariko, just so you know, since you took a sick day, my daughter and her friend decided to take a sick day. It appears you are the only reason they go to school. If they can't annoy you by chewing gum loudly and begging for and A, what use is there?

Annie, you can say whatever you want about you MIL in my comment box. There is no gag order here. This is an MIL free zone.

Springrose, I WOULDN'T allow you to cut up your Holly Hobby fabric. I'll have to look around and see if I can find some. I really loved Holly Hobbie. I think I had an HH blanket or pillow too.

Sandi said...

I keep coming back here just to look at the enchanted beach. It is so blue and so green and so warm. I need to be there, flies, cockroaches and all.

I am LoW said...

I've never seen someone have so much fun swatting at flies! Wonder what she looks like when the exterminator arrives!! :-)


IWA said...

OMGoodness... i have in-laws coming in April... That is the best Idea... Rent a room for them... and visit them there!

I actually did your scrolling exercises! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Lol! You're a trip!