Are you keeping the girly code?

Mariko told me I should write something new--as opposed to glamming up something old--for publication in the college literary magazine here at BYU-H.

NO, Mariko, NO!

I need to finish 40 essays and topic proposals TODAY. Plus my brain is clogged with History Day details because both my daughter and my son are performing on Saturday for the district competition.

Do you guys know what a performance requires? Props, set, costumes, practice and lots and lots of chips and salsa.

HOWEVER, I do have a stash of fresh unseen material in my draft box.

Guess how many stinkin' drafts I have in that stinkin' box?

54!

(What the what?) Most of them are total junk, so I tossed them, but I did find about 10 nearly complete posts that are worthy of hitting the front page today.

I might as well post some of them while I'm waiting for the plumber to come unclog my brain.

Which one do you want first? The one with the actions shots of my MIL swatting a fly? Or the one of my husband diagnosing my Attention Deficit Domestic Disorder? Or how about the one where I show you why I'm so lucky to live Laie?

(I may hold off on that one until spring seeing as some of you are sensative to sunshine right now and I am sensative to getting smacked around in my comment box.)

I think I will post the one about the girly code today. Let's see if you're keeping the girly code.

This post was practically plagiarized from my students (past and present). I didn't even embellish a single line.

(btw, I've been dying to tell you all about my students this semester because they are so uber awesome. I have photos to prove it.)

Today, however, you'll have to settle for their collective oddity.

This post was originally written on October 8th while reading A Doll's House with my Fall semester class. Since I am now reading A Doll's House with my winter semester class, it seems fitting:


10/8/08

Are you keeping the girly code?

This morning my twins were going to a birthday party. I didn't have any wrapping paper so we had to wrap their gifts with white tissue paper and lime green ribbon.

"It looks so girly!" said the first twin.

"What can we do to make it look more manly?" I said.

"Fart on it," said the second twin.

(ooooh, I hate that word).

But my boys love it.

My daughter has of late been telling me how much she wishes she was a boy. Why? Because boys have it easy. And they have all the fun. They don't have to learn how sew and cook at Young Women's. They get to play basketball or cops and robbers or set up a skate park in the cultural hall.

Plus they get to pass the sacrament and become bishops.

I've never actually ever wanted to pass the sacrament or be a bishop.

But I have always been curious about men/women roles and we talk about it a bit in my English class. I always give an in-class writing assignment where I ask my students to complete the following sentences:


A good wife should always _______ and a good mother should never _________.


There are plenty of predictable answers, but the unpredictable ones are more fun.

(Keep in mind these are the REAL opinions of REAL students.)

*I placed asterisks by the codes I have broken.

A good wife should always . . .

• let her husband drive*
• cook yummy food*
• use less emotion*
• shave her legs daily*
• bring not just a half, but a whole person to the relationship*
• be fun to be around*
• allow animals in the house*
• specialize in her profession as a wife*
• be happy, grateful, patient*
• be honest, cheerful, friendly *

A good mother should never . . .

• starve her children*
• get in other people's business*
• feel obligated to join the PTA*
• put her children in daycare
• tell her daughter how to act*
• embarrass her son in front of his friends***
• be impatient*
• eat a lot*
• complain*
• get mad/argue*
• dress weird*
• max out the credit cards
• be lazy*
• drink alcohol, (at least not in front of the children)
• tell the truth about Santa Claus*
• keep secrets*
• give bad advice*
• be unprepared*
• ask too much*
• ask too little*
• let her children cross the road alone********

If I have broken most of these girly commandments, does that mean I can pass the sacrament and be a Bishop?