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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Lub my Hub

My BBFF, Funny Farmer is such a funny farmer. She has, as of late, been concerned about my standing in my marriage.


I told her that my standing is fine--it's the sitting that gets tedious.


So this post is for Funny Farmer and all of you who are curious george about my tendency to fall in love with unavailable famous Jacks.



If you must know all the boring details of my life . . . I lub my hub.


There, I said it!


In fact, I would go so far as to say I lub my hub-a-dub-dub.


He's like an ole comfy pair of jeans that I can pull on for every occasion (except blogging).


I lub that I don't have to picture him in his underwear to keep from getting tongue tied and twisted when he talks to me. (Okay, that came out the wrong way and only a handful of you will get it--sorry.)


I lub that I don't have to put on my flawless bronze legs to impress him. Flawless bronze legs are a dime a dozen around these parts, but tired, overwhelmed wives with ginormous hair who can't keep the house clean are harder to come by.


I lub that he gets that.


I lub that he is totally cool about me calling him Jack, as long as I say it with a brazilian accent and matching thong.


Something to work towards.


I lub that he lets me fall in love with any Jack or Jill I want, as long as they're unavailable and famous.


BTW, I thought of two more Jacks to add to my list--Jack Sparrow and Jack Sprat. And Kristina P. suggested Jack Daniels, which I'm considering as an alternate.



My husband suggested Jack the ripper, which I'm considering as an alternate to that alternate.


I'm not in love with any of them yet because none of them have made me think deep thoughts about life or about kissing.


(Jack Sprat hasn't anyway.)




So bottom line, peeps. I lub my hub THIS MUCH! And I lub my Jacks this much.



What can I say, I've got me a big heart, (and there's plenty of room for everyone).

30 comments:

Kristina P. said...

You are such a giver!

And I'm back on my game! First again! Muuwwaaahhhh!

I am LoW said...

I never doubted you crash!!! :-)

I am am SO with you about the crushes of unavailable and/or (?) famous people. But have I told you, Gary's not allowed to have that type of crash unless she's chubby?

WV: tsherm- ex., I am allowed to have a crush but my husband is not. Tsherm! I am allowed to be moody, my husband is not. Tsherm!

Lara said...

Jack Sprat....I think that he is perfect. :)

wesley's mom said...

Your hub sounds fabulub.

My husband doesn't mind my crushes either. I think he knows the chances of me becoming a Bond Girl and running off with Daniel Craig are slim to none. Have you seen the way I dress?

Kritta22 said...

I never had any doubts. We girls have to have some eye candy, on occasions!

I am in agreement with LoW..Chris can't have one though unless she wears a bigger size jeans than me! :)

aniC said...

LoW, gary isn't allowed to have that type of CRASH unless she's chubby!?!

what about jack and the beanstalk?

my husband and i haven't really talked about crushes, but he's not really the jealous type so i'm sure he'd be fine with my celebrity crushes. he, however, is definitely not allowed crushes himself.

nevadanista said...

That was very sweet, but I'm dying to know which Jills your in love with?

Heidi Ashworth said...

I am one of the handful (at least I think I am . . .)

Melanie J said...

Wow. This should get you some. If he reads it, which I guess you don't let him do. Very often. You should let him read it today. And I'm going to back your choice of Jack Sprat.

robin said...

I'm with you Crash (no I don't lub your hub... I lub MY hub).

I'm cracking up though because I have made so many comments about him and have said to him "did you read today's post?" that it drove him today to create a google account so he could comment. GASP!!! What have I done????

I'm in for it now!!!

I am LoW said...

haha!!

CrUUUUsh!

Woops.

♥georgie♥ said...

OMGosh!!!! OMGosh!!!!
I soooo ♥ you!!!!
okay now i gotta go read your post LOL

♥georgie♥ said...

ohhhh what about
crackerJACK
or
Jack-in-the-box
or
Jack N Jill of course it would have to be Jack N Crash
and lets not forget a lil ditty called Jack and Diane-again just subsitute your name...

Oh shoot I am so excited I am rambling...I do that a lot yanno...

Lub is in the air ♥

IWA said...

ahhhh.. so sweet!

You know the best thing about a Dr as your home teacher... Free advice! heehee!

oH yA...and a lovely wife that makes great cookies!

val of the south said...

Never had any doubt! There's enough Crash for your hub and all the Jacks (no, that's not a fat joke!) - spread the love Crash, spread the love!

LoW - love the freudian slip - perfect!!

Heidi asked me to put a followers thingy on my blog (thanks Heidi!), so if anyone (please) wants to follow me (please), it's (please) now available (please).

So said...

I lub that you lub your hub.

Jacks are a dime a dozen but a good hub? They are much more difficult to come by.

April said...

AWWWWWW....How suhweeet! You lub him and he lubs you!

Not a Jack Spratt fan....I understand he's really skinny, I need a man that I can weigh more than at any given time.

Crushes are fun, they make you appreciate the one you really lub even more!

Mariko said...

Aw man. It's not even V day yet and here you are showing off your perfect marriage. You are SO making me look bad.
Crash, if I taught ADH I might as well just quit my job now before my students throw me and ADH in the dumpster. They don't get art. Especially GOOD art. We just have to avoid that and trick them into reading art that everyone else would read on their own time if we didn't ruin it by forcing them to read it on our time (but not really reading it, just sparknotes-ing it).
And really, if you're going to sparknotes ADH, then we might as well all curl up into a corner and die.
Hamlet is #5.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

way to be kristina.

Great post, thank you Funny Farmer for inspiring it.

3 more day and I will be back. Hallalujia!!!! Probly not spelled right but I am too tired to care.

And my hub did the laundry for me on Saturday because I was working. Now that is lub.

wenderful said...

Lubbly post! I'm glad you added Mr. Sparrow. He's one of my favorite Jacks along with Mr. Bauer.

robin said...

I agree with April on Jack Sprat. I actually stopped dating a guy because his waist size was smaller than mine. true story.

wv: outhet At the outhet I knew we weren't meant to be together. hahahaha (read with a lisp)

I am LoW said...

Val- hahaha!! I know!

Has anyone said Jack Sparrow?

Youngblood4ever said...

So glad to hear your relationship is stable, orewab be havin' a problem. Sorry, tried to use the wv in a sentence...probably didn't make much sense.

Anywho...you are a rarity and you hubby is lucky to have a "tired, overwhelmed wi[fe] with ginormous hair who can't keep the house clean." He totally loves you, too. I just know these things!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Aloha everyone!

I'm so laughing at Lo saying her hubby wasn't allowed to have that type of crash unless she's chubby. hee hee I am so going to pack on some pounds because you know I love Gary. hee hee

I love the Jack in the beanstock idea, Annie C. And JACK IN THE BOX. YES. Suddenly I'm so craving a taco and an egg roll.

I am assuming my hubby has crushes, but he'll never tell. (thank goodness) If I had to venture a guess I would say Hale Berry. But honestly I have no idea what his type is. I think he just like tired overwhelmed women with ginormous hair that can't keep their houses clean or feed their children.

Lucky for me.

Nevada I will tell you who my Jills are tomorrow. And Miss Heidi, of course you're one of them.

LUB you guys!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH!

Wait!

I'm looking. I'm looking. I'm looking.

Is it just me or do I NOT see Sandi?

Sandi? Where's Sandi?

I'm not posting again until she heckles me.

Val, I'm following you now. Everyone go follow Val. She need some lub because she lives in P.R.O.V.O.
I can say that since I grew up there.

LY P.R.O.V.O.

sara said...

I just read this one after reading Blok Thoughts. Hilarious. One is all about the love, and one is all about going postal.
Men really do bring out all kinds of emotions in us.

Sandi said...

Heckle? Moi? Never. I'm glad you missed me, makes me feel very special. My heater went out and I have been freezing to death and frozen fingers cannot type you know. Today I have heat! woohoo!
So I've been thinking about the Jack thing and I realized that depending on the day, I tend to think of my husband in Jack terms. Such as:a) How nice, you are a jack of all trades and can fix everything! or b)You don't know Jack. or even worse c) Jack A$$.....so you see there is something to this jack theory. You are oh so very wise!
Now I am off to make dinner and then it's YW in excellence so NO MORE HECKLING FROM ME.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

YAY Sandi came. I'm sorry about your frozen fingers. (You're trying to make me feel guilty for being warm, huh?)

WOW! That was so profound about the Jack theory. You are so YODA! You know what this means, don't you? I really am in lub with my hub.

Now can you convince me that I have flawless bronze legs?

Okay, I can post again now that Sandi stopped by.

YAY

Annie Valentine said...

I lubbed that post.

And I lub all your Jacks as much as you do (plus some George's, Brad's, and Hugh's...).

Martha said...

Why do we need to feed our children? They can just live off of basketball snacks. That's what I do. I have so given up on the clean house thing and my mom is still here. Now she has seen the true me.