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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Mariko and Me (oh, and Swirl and Martha and Anjeny)

So I met my daughter's hoity toity English teacher, Mariko at a History Day dress rehearsal.

And guess what!

She's got a sexy voice.

It's like butter. Country Crock butter.

Or cream. Whipped cream in a can.

If whipped cream in a can was made of velvet and country crock butter was made of silk that would be her voice.

You wanna see photographic evidence that I met her?

This is me and Mariko if I were a smokin' hot sparkly vampire and she were a tub of country crock butter. (Can you see me glittering?)


I take that back. This is me and Mariko if I were a creepy hot sparkly vampire.


This is me and Mariko if I had Betty Davis eyes.


And she had Pantene Pro-V hair.


This is me and Mariko and our History Day guru friend, Colleen.



Did you forget to wear your 3-D glasses too?

Okay, stare at the photo for 30 seconds without blinking.

You are getting sleeeeeepy.

Now move to the left at super sonic speed.

Now the right.

Left again. Up. Down. Up. Down. To the left. To the left. Everything you own in a box to the left.

Faster! Faster! (Is that really EVERYTHING you own?)

(cheapskate!)


(Btw, is it just me or does Mariko seem a bit intolerant of the dummy?)

(Snobbity can of spray whipped cream!)

So in my last post I started telling you about my big day out with my girlz in the hood.

All my girlz already told their versions of the day (see my last post for links).

They told it like it was. Exactly like it was.

I call that happening truth (because Tim O'Brien calls that happening truth).

The thing about happening truth is WHO CARES?

Except those rare souls who want to know if you cleaned out your car before you went to Arbys.

Swirl told the happening truth. And Martha told the happening truth plus a bunch of TMI about her husband's sock drawer, her Kohls.com addiction and her fat retirement check which she safety pinned to her bra as soon as the Arbys cashier extended her palm.

Martha, try to get to girlz day before page 200!

Oh, and Martha, must you make us sound like a the Golden Girls taking our first field trip away from the nursing home?

At least Anjeny used the word crazy ladies enough to make us sound like Golden Girls gone wild!



So who wants to hear the story truth raise your hand?



Okay, but can I get through History Day first? pretty please!

BRB (BE RIGHT BACK)


W!DM (Wait! Dont' MOVE!)


ISSRTYAUFI! (I said, stay where you are until further instruction!)


















AYSH? CIN (Are you STILL here? Cuz I'm not.)

25 comments:

val of the south said...

Such a tease!

Sandi said...

How is it that you have never met Mariko before? could it be that you are one of THOSE parents who do not attend Parent Teacher Conference? I think she does look a little hoity toity towards the dummy, yes indeed.
LOL at your descriptions of those ladies version of your day out. Hahahaha Golden girls on the loose. I think girls need to get out more often, then you would get better at it!

Kristina P. said...

I had no idea that you hadn't met Mariko! I thought you were BFFs. Or at least a stalker or something.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

OKay...let me just clarify that I am one of those people that looks to look at you straight in the face...with a smile plastered on there like April.

Not all shy and afraid like, like Mariko, whose pantene PRO-V hair I'm envious of...or Screaming like Pat...

I just like to stare and you and make you feel uncomfortable...

It's what I do...

I'm going to have to be first more often...so that you guys might be hypnotized by my eyes and half smile and come over to my blog to comment...

WHERE's THE LOYALTY!!!

Love ya all

I re-posted my comment on this post also because I wanted you guys to feel creeped out...only I'm not first this time.

But Mariko is freaking gorgeous... and even with your edits Crash to try and make you look vampirish or 3dish doesn't work, you are still gorgeous also, but no more pictures of Mariko please, I jump into a deep depression...until I look at my profile pic...

Oh wait...

I'm good! :)

I am LoW said...

Anxiously waiting...

Anjeny said...

You really are a tease, now I'm thinking we really should've put your pants on fire when we had the chance...lol.

Shelle, you really are creeping me out...ahahah.

Sandi, Crash never met her daughter's teacher because she was too busy trying to pick her favorite teacher, neighbor, and blog friend...lol.

Crash...BITE ME!!

Anjeny said...

Shoots...I meant STUDENT, favorite student...dang, this is too early on Saturday to try to be witty.

Jami said...

Looking forward to the conclusion of today's grand beginning.

Heidi Ashworth said...

You really are a beautiful girl, you know that?

SO said...

I guess I can wait for History day to be over. I can't wait to hear about your Golden Girls gone wild trip.

Terresa said...

U r awesome with photoshop, or something. How did you make yourself all glittery? Are you sure you're not part vampire?

wendy said...

Man, I would love a voice of country crock creamy smooth butter. I gotta learn some abbreviations-----------

Kritta22 said...

I am having a staring contest with Shelle.

I think I can win.

I'll let you know who laughs first!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Shelle you freaked me out. I thought I was having de ja vu.

OK I'll wait since it is mandatory, but I don't like waiting , just for the record.

Youngblood4ever said...

Oh seriously. I was waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

I am thinking that Mariko thinks Dummy stinks. Do you see the last picture where she is leaning away from you? Well, I do!

BTW- I heart Golden Girls. That and that Nanny are my 2 Lifetime obsessions that I am going to therapy for. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I secretly think I have the most annoying voice ever (not a creamy buttery voice) and my Dad's nickname for me is Golden Girl (I was the only natural blonde in my family growing up).

Martha said...

If you've never met Mariko that means you ditched Parent / Teacher night. That couldn't be true.

I also can't believe you are sorta accusing me of rambling on my blog. YOU are saying I ramble. I who write once a month and that's mostly pictues. I only wrote for your fans.

And for me that was my first field trip away from the townhouse hood. Since I have no husbandly support in the shopping area I just have been avoiding it, so I go nowhere.

Ok, time to go watch Josh kick you know what at tennis.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

All I'm saying is that I'm here for you guys...to freak you out and officially wake YOU up in the mornings SANDI and scare the Ba-Jeepers out of you Nutty Hamster Chick...

I'm a good friend like that!

T said...

I need to get me some Pantene... - and someone needs to eliminate all "Golden Girls" memories from my mind before I get old enough to relate.

and Shelle's just freakin' me out... well, okay - I was pretty Freaky to begin with, but she's pushed me over the edge.

Mariko said...

Oh, I totally do not tolerate that description of me.
VEGAN butter, thank you.

Kristina-- I am the stalker. That's why she knows who I am.

We did meet once before at the movies, but mostly we just were so guffawed at seeing each other we spoke nothingness for 15 seconds. Hey, it's pretty much like sweet nothings.

I DID see her at the parent conference night, where I babbled like an idiot, and Crash ran out really quickly before I cornered her and murdered her with a butter knife like the stalker I am.

People, that shine in my hair?
That's GREASE. Not Pantene. Cute, huh? I had just come back from moving houses and I smelled like a barn and my hair was greased to my head.

I really like the way you tell our stories. We should meet up more.

YAY for History Day! :)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Thanks Shelle, I feel so much better now my Ba Jeepers are gone. You are such a giver.

Word verifier says "outed". What the what. I wonder what that means.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Oh my helk, I just say that Kristina changer her snuggy picture to the peekaroo snuggy. I am glad I just went to the bathroom because that picture is pee your pants funny. Thanks for the laugh Kristina.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Of course I meant to write "saw" in stead of "say" and "changed" instead of "changer". Something is wrong with my fingers and I can't type. I hate it when that happens.

Mariko said...

Oh, yeah. Forgot to say that her daughter and Colleen's son was taking lots of pictures without bothering to wait if I was looking. I'm just lucky Crash didn't put up all the pictures of me looking like I was stoned because when I DO look at the camera, that's what happens.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Crash you are such a tease you know that? I mean I still LY and all that but really. I think I am starting to see a whole trend here. First the favorite student post(s) and now the girlz day post(s).

I'll be back!

Martha said...

So where are the pictures?