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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

More or Less

Yesterday I got four more hours than you.  HA!  I love the feeling of having more than everyone else.  

The only down side is that whenever I have more than everyone else I'm sitting on a plane.  

It's kind of a cruel twist of fate now that I think about it. 

What about all those nights I spent trying to grade research papers before my class?  Now that would have been a great time for time to stand still.  

Or all those times in high school when I was making out with my boyfriends right before curfew.   

Life is so ironic sometimes.  

Ironically, yesterday was one the most ironic days ever.  

If I were Alanis Morrisette I would write a song about my flight home.

So I was at the SLC airport with my twins waiting for our flight to Denver.  Two hours it was delayed, which was great for me because I got to maximize the free airport wi-fi and communicate with the universe at the same time.  

But I also had more time to stew in the anxiety of having a 14 year old daughter who was going to be flying as an unaccompanied minor from Los Angeles to San Francisco and then then on to Honolulu.  

Long boring story short, our fam had to split up for our flights back to Hawaii due to frequent flyer availability.  My daughter's story is more complicated because she hasn't been home since we left for New York so her ticket was a super cheap web of multi-destination connections.  

By the time my twins and I arrived in Denver our connecting flight to Honolulu was long gone. 

Bummer?  Helk no!  Getting to spend more time in an airport without my hub is always a partay!  Especially if you think to yourself "Hmmm, my hub is not here, I think I'll blow a hundred bucks today on caramel peacan apples and house magazines."  

My twins and I entertained ourselves by doing relay races and then the moonwalk on the escalator walkways.  

And I bought a the book, Julie and Julia, which is first official food porn book I've ever read. Mariko might love it, but I'm a bit of a prude when it comes to making omelettes.  

But the ironic part of the day was the serendipitous rebooking of our flight.  All I did was pick up the phone and United had already rebooked us on a flight to Los Angeles and then San Francisco and then Honolulu . . .

WITH MY DAUGHTER!   

Do you think Murphy has a crush on me, or what? 

Sure I had to make 3 extra stops and spend 7 extra hours en route, but it was WITH MY DAUGHTER!!!  

So I'm back in Hawaii now! 

HI MARTHA!  Can you hear my hub snoring from your bedroom window?  Is it making your brain twitch? 

I gots to go make some powdered milk for our stale cereal, but I just wanted to thank you all for you comments yesterday.  I really needed them because I had four extra hours to bust my brain trying to remember what the universe doesn't want me to forget.  

Remember the Alamo?  Remember the Titans?  Remember the Holocaust?   

Remember who you are and what you stand for? 

Maybe I just need to remember what my sis-in-law kept saying:  "Oh Crash, it all boils down to the "F" word . . . (awkward pause and coy smile) . . you just gotta have FAITH!" 

Silly goose Utards, always trying to push the envelope. 

Maybe I just need to remember that no matter where I go and no matter how much time it takes me to get there or how many stops I have to make, sometimes MORE is less and LESS is more . . . more or less . . . especially when I'm with my daughter.

Does that make sense?

32 comments:

IWA (e - va) said...

Aww this was sweet... glad you guys are back... glad you got to fly with T!

IWA (e - va) said...

How the book? the movie looks awesome!

IWA (e - va) said...

Hah.. i was 1st, 2nd, and 3rd! now off to class!

IWA (e - va) said...

Wait.. you still drink powdered milk? do they even sell that stuff here? or any more?

I think that would be a great way to punish my kids! haha!

okay now off to class!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

It makes total sense as only a dummy could do.

I love it when the universe makes lemons into lemon merangue pie. Way to go you top chefs up there.

I want to see that movie also after watching the next food network star. It looks fun, but I am wondering what about cooking is PG-13. Hmmmm. Food porn indeed.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

PS- Don't forget to breathe, K.

And Hi-5 Iwa for being 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. You go girl.

aniC said...

no way!! my layover was in denver too!! we were in the same airport together twice! double freaky.

Melanie J said...

I love serendipity.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Iwa, powdered milk IS a good way to punish the kids. hee hee Except they didn't even complain about it. They were that hungry like a wolf.

Hamster Chick, you are so dang cute.

Okay guys, here's the scoop about the book. I think the movie will be better. At least it looks better. I really want to see it. Let's have a girls day. I'm half way through the book and so far there's not much about Julia Child's actual life, which I was hoping for. Also there isn't much about the author's blogging, which I was also hoping for. I was hoping the food porn would be more along the lines of Elizabeth Gilbert style, but it's more straight out sexual. Julie's got a dirty mouth. There are some shining moments in the writing, but a bit over the top dramatic.

Just sayin'.

Ani, NO WAAAY! What time were you in SLC and Denver. Talk about serendipity.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Okay, here's a comment for Sandi, even though she hasn't commented yet.

SANDI, HOW WAS THE FREAKIN' WEDDING?????

I've been meaning to ask you that all week. I'm back now and can get my head back in the game.

Sandi has a married daughter!!!!!! AAAAAHHH!

Sandi is an MIL! Ahhhhhh!

Sandi, don't ever play the cloud game with your DIL when you're trying to avoid conflict.

How is KK? I'm sure I can go find out on her blog.

Youngblood4ever said...

How come Murphy loves you and likes to spit on me? Doesn't seem fair, does it?

Ummm, WV- brainfin. Is that something to help navigate your brain to what you were supposed to remember? just asking.

nevadanista said...

How funny that you mentioned the song 'Ironic', which isn't actually ironic. It came in the car a couple of weeks ago, and I was trying to explain to Ella why it wasn't ironic that the guy's plane crashed down after being afraid to fly his entire life - it was just bad luck. It was hard, because just like Wynonna Ryder in Reality Bites, I couldn't exactly articulate its meaning in words. So, I explained that it would have been ironic, if when his plane took off, a devistating earthquake happened back home and killed his family while he was safe in the air. Ella really didn't care about the meaning of ironic though, and I was mostly talking to myself, so I'm glad for the chance to bag on Alanis Morrisette in your comment box :) I mean what's ironic about having 10,000 spons when all you need is a knife? Nothing. It's just a lot of spoons, that's all.

I'm so glad your plane didn't crash down btw :)

nevadanista said...

And further more, what's ironic about a traffic jam when you're already late, a black fly in your Chardonnay, or rain on your wedding day? I ask you...

♥georgie♥ said...

Hawaii...i am so envious!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

That's awesome. Someone was playing matchmaker in the universe between your ticket and your daughters ticket.

Life is so cool sometimes.

T said...

I read the Elizabeth Gilbert food porn book... and that'll do it for me... unless of course the movie looks REALLY good...

glad you're back in Hawaii and enjoying it before you turn all Utahn on us (hey, I just LIVE here, I'm not FROM here...) (not that there's anything wrong with that...) (hmmm, but there might be something wrong with writing everything parenthetically?)

Tiffany said...

Hey crash,
Just getting in my weekly reading of blogs and of course I gotta read you!!! You are adorable.

Guess what!?!? I get my baby back for a sleepover. His birth mom asked me to babysit so I get him all Sunday and Monday. I am so excited to have him even if it is for a short time.
I lead a weird life huh.
Love your guts!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

YAY Tiffany!! That is so awesome! I bet you are sooooooo excited! LYGuts TOO!

Nevada, ha ha ha I can't tell you how many times I've thought the exact same thing about that song. ah ha ha ahh You said it so perfectly. A whole lot of spoons! YEP!

At least she doesn't say ironicity, which is what my hub says.

T, Now that I'm going to be a Utard I am going to tell everyone I'm from Hawaii. Hee Hee. And then I'm going to say "that's why I look like a Hawaiian tropic model."

Hee hee Can't wait to be a Hawaiian snob.

April said...

I think I can hear your hubby snoring! WOW! That's loud!

I just read The Bell Jar last weekend. Interesting book. No food porn though. Sorry. Just a suicide and an asylum.

Glad you made it home safely!

val of the south said...

When you tell people you are from Hawaii they will ask you if you are crazy, why would anyone move from Hawaii to Utah?...just say "why yes, I am crazy" or you have to get into all kinds of explanations with strangers and they will spend long periods of time telling you how they would give anything to live in Hawaii (or San Diego)!

And a great piece of advice Charette gave me at Heidi's thing was this...when anyone asks how you like Utah - you simply smile and say "better than I thought I would". I think I offended a lot of native Utahns by not being as excited about their great state as they thought I should be!

So glad you made it home safe and sound if not a bit circuitous!!

val of the south said...

I love to just come and hang out at your blog and listen to music. It's such a fab mix!

Thanks for letting me hang out!!

nevadanista said...

April, hope you see this - The Bell Jar is one of my favorite books. I loved her style of writing, and it's so sadly touching given her real life suicide :( It's truly a glimpse at madness. She was talented!

Ha Crash! You could teach your students about writing, and what irony is NOT, with that song. Wouldn't it be so horrifying to have written and recorded that song, have it become a smash hit, and then find out that nothing about it is actually ironic (except for maybe a no smoking sign on your cigarette break)? :D :D :D I would feel bad for poor Alanis, but she really bugs me :)

Amber Lynae said...

You aren't even living in Utah and you are picking up porn at the airport. I guess you are just getting a head start. I laughed about the time standing still for you to make out. Fun stuff.

I'm glad you and your little girl got to be together on the flights. That is one of the tender mercies provided to you, you better not use them all up.

Funny Farmer said...

I love this post! Don't ask me why -- it just struck a chord in me. Maybe it's because I just had an amazingly satisfying talk with MY daughter about life, the universe, and everything, and even though it's almost 2am I don't want to go to bed and lose the feeling.

But this was still a great post. :D

wv: qxickchw -- chickchow! ahahaha

Funny Farmer said...

I was sitting in the counselor's office waiting for my turn to fix my sophomore's schedule, when I overheard the secretary talking to a father with a rather solemn looking teenaged boy in tow. I didn't pay much attention until the secretary asked if the boy was a new student and the father replied, "yes, we just moved here from Hawaii..."

My head snapped up to check that it wasn't your hub, even though I knew you had already flown back to Hawaii yesterday, even though I knew that your sons are all too young to be in high school. I couldn't help myself.

:)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH Funny Farmer. I almost cried when you wrote that. It's my daughter's friend. They text all the time. I feel sad to hear he's solemn. I know he's very homesick. I'm thinking of all my kids being solemn as we go to the secretaries office and we register them and I tell them "Yes, we just moved here from Hawaii."

Okay, I am tearing up for real now at those words.

Won't that boy be happy when he sees my daughter in the hallway at school.

For some reason your comment helped me make a few very important decisions.

Thanks Universe, for casting a spell over Funny Farmer and not letting her fall asleep.

LY

Val, good point. Goooood point. But I'm going to say it anyway because I've always wanted to be able to say "I'm from Hawaii" and I really should be able to say it. I deserve it, Tamnit! I AM FROM HAWAII.

And I'm glad you like my playlist, btw.

Nevada and April, I read the Bell Jar too. I borrowed it from my office mate and never gave it back. Oooops. It was so well written. And soooooo sad. Poor Sylvia Plath.

I feel guilty now for never giving it back.

Amber Lynae, I keep meaning to write you back and tell you thank you so much for the award. You are so kind and sweet. MUCH MAHALO! I'll drop by soon.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH Funny Farmer. I almost cried when you wrote that. It's my daughter's friend. They text all the time. I feel sad to hear he's solemn. I know he's very homesick. I'm thinking of all my kids being solemn as we go to the secretaries office and we register them and I tell them "Yes, we just moved here from Hawaii."

Okay, I am tearing up for real now at those words.

Won't that boy be happy when he sees my daughter in the hallway at school.

For some reason your comment helped me make a few very important decisions.

Thanks Universe, for casting a spell over Funny Farmer and not letting her fall asleep.

LY

Val, good point. Goooood point. But I'm going to say it anyway because I've always wanted to be able to say "I'm from Hawaii" and I really should be able to say it. I deserve it, Tamnit! I AM FROM HAWAII.

And I'm glad you like my playlist, btw.

Nevada and April, I read the Bell Jar too. I borrowed it from my office mate and never gave it back. Oooops. It was so well written. And soooooo sad. Poor Sylvia Plath.

I feel guilty now for never giving it back.

Amber Lynae, I keep meaning to write you back and tell you thank you so much for the award. You are so kind and sweet. MUCH MAHALO! I'll drop by soon.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ooops. So nice, I had to say it twice.

Funny Farmer said...

No no no! You don't cry, remember -- your eyes sweat. You can't break character right here on the blog girl! Email me about these decisions if you get a chance.

wv: nongenes HAHAHAHA! It's a sign! We're unbiological sisters! hee hee hee

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha I thought of that too. But I have a rule. I can only break character in my comment box. hee hee

I'll email you later gator.

val of the south said...

Oh my gosh, I didn't mean to not tell them you're from Hawaii! I think I worked "I'm from San Diego" into every conversation I could even when there was no reason for at least the first year!

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the doodads are...we just moved here FROM SAN DIEGO, and I don't know where to find them" I had to keep that connection alive...still do :)

I just meant when they ask you if you're crazy for moving from Hawaii - just say YES!! I got so caught up defending our move to complete strangers...that was CRAZY!!

aniC said...

i left slc for denver at 10:27 am. and i left denver at....1ish? i can't remember. next time we'll have to give eachother our iteneraries.