Thursday, July 30, 2009

My water just broke

I'm in between pages.  

One chapter is ending and one is beginning.  

It's almost like being pregnant because you retain a lot of water when a chapter ends.  

But not in your ankles.  You carry it more around your eye balls.  

They get all puffy and swollen and you have to concentrate on keeping the flood gates from opening so your 13 year old son doesn't look at you and say "OH MY GOSH MOM!  Are you crying AGAIN?" 

And so your 14 year old daughter doesn't say, "PALEEASE don't cry in Foodland, Mom!"  

It ain't easy being pregnant.  It's uncomfortable.  It's painful.  It's emotional.  It's messy and ugly and frightening.  And every once in a while it hits you that you've grown out of your skinny jeans and your life is about to change forever.   There's no going back.  

But in a way the scariest part is the labor.  Deeeeeeeeeeeep, deeeeeeeeeeep down--somewhere around your pelvis area--it strikes a chord of terror.  

If you can just get through the labor (and the recovery, and the exhaustion, and the insecurities, and the post partum blues) there's a rush of excitement and joy unlike any other. 

The first thing I always say after giving birth is "WAHOOOOO!  I'm not pregnant anymore!!!"

I can't wait to say "WAHOOOOO!  I'm not moving anymore! (And I'm not recovering or exhausted or insecure either!  And I don't have the post moving blues!  (And I can fit back into my skinny jeans!))"  

Okay, you can smack me now!  Moving and pregnancy actually have nothing in common. 

I just love extending metaphors.  (hee hee)

Actually I woke up feeling gooooood this morning.  Not James Brown good, but gooooooood nonetheless.  

A little bit excited even.  The universe has spoken.  And when the universe speaks, people listen.  

One of the things I'm most excited about is that we haven't found a house yet.  

YAY!  No house.  

Sounds stressful, huh?  

But because we didn't have time to seal the deal on a house I get to live in my sister's extra house until we do.  

My sister's extra house is right down the street from where she lives.  


I haven't even lived within driving distance of my sister for 24 years! 

Do you have any idea what this means?  For one moment in time I am going to be borrowing sugar and spice and everything nice from my very own sister.


There is still some good in the world after all.  

Now if you'll excuse me, my water just broke and my contractions are starting. 


Kristina P. said...

I hope you don't need a C-section!

What is Jack Johnson going to do without you!!

wesley's mom (sue) said...

You are SOOO lucky that your sister has an extra house. And that you are excited to live down the street from her. And that she has sugar and spice and everything nice and will let you borrow it.

Just take lots of cleansing breaths. It will all be fine.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

That is so true, Wesley's mom (Debbie). I am so lucky.

I laughed about the cleansing breaths. ha ha ha Lamaze didn't do diddly squat for me when I was in labor. It was just annoying as helk.

Kristina P. what am I going to do without JACK JOHNSON. That is the real question.


The Crash Test Dummy said...

Even a sugary spicey sister with an extra house doesn't hold a candle to running into Jack Johnson at my daughter's soccer games.

I hope there is someone famous in my sister's ward.

val of the south said...

Yay for sisters living close! My sister lives just down the hill from us - which is fabulous most of the time!!

I'm glad the universe is still speaking to you...that it didn't leave you high and dry after telling you to do such a huge thing!

I'm not sure how much Crash needs Utah, but Utah definitely needs some Crash to up our coolness factor!!

So glad you're coming - Sue's right, LOTS of cleansing breaths!!

val of the south said...

Perhaps you can get an extended epidural...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha about the extended epidural. I LOVE that idea!!! I wish I had thought of it.

And I don't know why I always call Sue, Debbie. I just thinks he should be a Debbie. Debbie's a way cool name.

val of the south said...

It is a cool name - some of my most favorite people are named Debbie :)

That so funny about the Sue/Debbie thing - after I read your comment, I thought I'd gotten her name wrong and almost went back and deleted my comment!

Sue, have you thought of changing your name to Debbie? I hear that's what all the cool people are called...well, that and Val!!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Ah I'm so happy your happy about this moving thing. I would (and did) freak without knowing about a house but you've got a sweet deal getting to eb so close to your sister.

So when's the final date huh? How long are we going to have a Hawaiian Crash?

And, will you still eat Spam?

wesley's mom (sue) said...

You guys are funny. You can call me anything you want. Debbie-Sue. Or Sue-Val. Or Valbbie-Sue. I'm flexible.

I want to know about the Spam too, will you continue? I bet you could really liven up some funeral potatoes with a dash of Spam.

val of the south said...

I love it ~ that could be Crash's signature dish - Spam funeral potatoes!!

Valbbie-Sue has kind of a nice ring to it :)

The Garden of Egan said...

Push hunny PUSH!!!!! You're crowning and I can almost see the head.

Enjoy living next to the sis, that sounds like an awesome thing.

Skeet said...

Crash, Funny thing, just a couple days ago, I was driving somewhere with your mom and brother and I said, "this moving thing is kinda like being pregnant. Even if you absolutely KNEW it was the right thing and the right time to have a baby, the second you start feeling sick and fat and disgusting you think to yourself, "I hate this and I can't believe I'm doing it." No kidding, just the other day. Just remember, it all goes away when you see the beautiful new life you just created.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Of course I will still eat spam. And musubi is a must. I will search every store in provo to find seaweed wraps. Val, have you made musubi yet?

Sue, how cool that you're so flexible. In that case I'm going to call you Debra Sue. ;)

You guys will have a Hawaiian Crash until around the 18th of August. After that you'll have to give me a Mountain (with nothin' to dew). hee hee Get it. Nothing to dew.

(I don't get it either.)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH Skeet, you are brilliant. No wonder I lub you so much. That was puuuurfect.

P.S. Don't forget to remember!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Nothing to dew, lol. BTW baby Chick is jiving to the Black Eyed Peas so we'll hang for a few minutes.

I may, may do that musiba masubi whatever thing. it sounds so intruiging....

CaJoh said...

Yea you have a temporary place to live. Yea you are closer to your sister. Waa that you have to have moving pains. Sure hope the adjustment doesn't require an epidural. Good luck with finding a permanent place to live.

DeNae said...

Great honk, Crash. I hadn't realized how sudden this move was for you! But I guess BYU starts PDQ, so you need to get to the mainland ASAP. I'm feeling for you, baby. And the birthing analogy is terrific.

In fact, given that it is your spouse's career that has brought you to this point, I'm thinking that, as in labor situations, it would be acceptable for you to grab his hand and dig your fingernails into his palm and scream that you never liked his mother's pot roast and he didn't really lose that stupid Bay City Rollers LP, you ran over it with the car and then buried the pieces in the back yard because if you'd had to listen to "Saturday Night" one more time it would have been HIM out there in the garden.

And he'll just have to take it cuz he'll know he got you into that mess in the first place.

IWA (e - va) said...

So when I moved back from Utah to Hawaii, I went through my own grieving process and kept telling myself, It's okay, I’m going for school, it's going to make me and my family a better people….. and then I not only moved a block from one sister, a 10 minutes drive from a second sister, a Wal-mart visit to the 3rd and 4th... but then I moved in with the 5th and 6th sister and guess what happen? Because I have my sisters I never want to move anywhere else... EVER!

Which is why you will never move back here…… Because you'll have it soo good with your sister, You’ll be content with everything else!

Im so much sadder that you’re leaving but am soo happy for you and your sister!

BTW... your analogy was too funny! and way too true!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

DeNae, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You are such a funny chica. I lub you.

And Iwa, you a funny chica too. And I lub you too. I only have one sister so maybe, just maybe, when I'm uber rich and famous, and when I'm a celebrity blog stalker, I can move back and buy a house next door to Jack Johnson.

The possibilities are endless!

Cajoh, you are like the nicest person on the face of this earth.

Andrea, where are you moving to again? I thought it was Ideeho, but did I hear you say Pennsylvania?

Melanie J said...

Uh, just occurred to me that you will probably have people from Provo reading your blog now. How does that make you feel?

Also, you will have regular access to chocolate covered cinnamon gummy bears at the BYU bookstore. That might be enough to tempt me to move.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I am glad to hear that things are coming together. When we almost moved 4 years ago it was so hard to try and decide where I would pick to live. Such a big deal what with kids and schools.

What I want to know is do you get to eat anything you want like when you are pregnant? And what about crazy cravings? Do you get to eat strange things? I certainly hope so. You better get your fill of Hawaaian food porn in the next 3 weeks.

Amber Lynae said...

I hope your cankles don't get too bad before you deliver. I hated having cankles. I definitely prefer ankles to cankles.

So I live down the street from my big sis for now. It has been mostly good. But we never do all the things we thought we would if we lived next to each other.

April said... get to live by your sister!!! I am jealous! I would LOVE to live by my sister!

So what are you craving? A gallon of code red? Mountain dew?

There was a guy eating musubi where I work just last week! True story! He offered me a bite....ah NO thank you! It has spam in it! DUH! See! You can still get that here!!! I am so excited for you!

SWIRL said...

WEll- I think I need to send your sister a list of things you frequently are out of...

eggs.. but have extra-extra eggs because sometimes your boys drop them before they make it back to your house...

chocolate chips...

chicken crepes....
cupcake liners -- with the advice NOT TO HELP DECORATE no matter how much you beg and plead...

frozen pizzas...

T said...

I was working up a funny comment about giving up pregnancy AND moving forever... but then Swirls' comment made me smile... and tear up just a little...

moving sucks - leaving friends sucks more... but family makes up for a lot of that. AND having blogs and facebook to keep in touch does cushion the blow!

(besides, Swirl should be able to keep eggs in her house now - unless you figure out a way to borrow them via facebook)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

For the record, I never borrowed frozen pizza from Swirl. My hub makes the most delicious homemade
pizza in the world, so there!


nevadanista said...

It's such a relif when the universe finally speaks!

Martha said...

I already talked to you today so I don't need to post anything.

But I have to say, Swirl, your comment was pretty funny.

I think I borrow way more from Crash than she does from me. You need to orientate the people who move into your house on how to be good neighbors--keep a well stocked pantry.

My bro said he could get you guys all the MLS listings in Provo if you want. Let me know.

Debbie said...

I've been out of town and missign all your lovely posts. I love this one! You're so funny. Good luck with your move.