Saturday, August 1, 2009

Advanced Movie Wisdom

Last night I saw Harry Potter.    

To me, the whole Harry Potter plot line is a big pile of random details meshing together at the bottom of my brain.    

But that's not to say it didn't make me think.  


About stuff. 

(You might want to take notes.) 

Deep thought #1:  Harry Potter movies are darn sexy.  I don't even need the magic.  I'd be a perfectly captive audience just listening to a couple of Brits reading the telephone book and snogging every so often.   Honest to Pete, I don't know why Stephanie Meyer didn't think to give Edward Cullen an English accent.  

Deep thought #2: Tension isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Especially the kind of tension that starts with the letter S and rhymes with exual.  

Brits + S + exual + tension = Cha-ching!!!

Deep thought #3:  We don't have to wait forever to be immortal.  If you split your soul in two and hide half of it in an inanimate object you can never die (and you can bear testimony that personification is true).     

Deep thought #4:  I would like to hide my other half in John Mayer's guitar so I can help him say what he needs to say.   

Deep thought #5:  People are always disappearing.  POOF!  Just like that.   That's life.  But what if half their soul is still hiding somewhere close by?  Michael Jackson could be in the syringe I'm using to shoot mountain dew into my veins right now.

Deep thought #6:  Wouldn't it be funny if people just suddenly disappeared (POOF!) when they broke their unbreakable bonds.  

(Okay, so it might not be that funny, but it would certainly help with population control.)

P.S. I also have some advanced moving wisdom to share:  

If your super hot surfer dude x-boyfriend tries to seduce you during your engagement to the state of Utah . . . just roll with it.  

You're only young once.   


Amanda said...

glad there were no spoilers! :)

nevadanista said...

OMGosh! Was Jack Johnson hitting on you again????

You what's funny, is that the movie Edward Cullen, the actor that is, is actually Bri'ish. Can you believe they made him speak with an American accent? I hope the director takes some poetic licence with New Moon so at least I'll have a Britsexual accent to enjoy, becuase heaven knows there's not much else about the creepy Cullens and the whiner Bella to enjoy :)

Sandi said...

Stephanie Meyers is an idiot. If she would have given Edward a British accent, I might possibly have been able to sit through that crap. Maybe.
Where is everyone? It has been ages since we have had a party in your comment box. We need to do that one more time while you are still in the land of Aloha.

nevadanista said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nevadanista said...

(Okay, so it might not be that funny, but it would certainly help with population control.)

You're just like Dwight Schrute at the company picnic (I think) when he said, "who are all these people? We need a new plague." :D

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Nevada, you silly goose. Are you thinking my super hot surfer dude x boyfriend is Jack Johnson?

hee hee hee

No, he's my super hot surfer dude Rock Star x boyfriend.

I wish Jack Johnson was hitting on me again. I was referrring to the lovely seductive state of Hawaii.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I am beside myself that they made Edward Cullen hide his Brittish accent. No wonder poor Kristen/Bella became obsessed with him in real life.

Sandi, I know, where have YOU been? I haven't seen you for a week. I'm dying to hear about the wedding. Out with it.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

You took the words right out of my mouth!!! lol!

You KNOW I have a tiny obsession with all things British/Australian (to-may-toe to-mot-toe) accents??? don't you? We So are twins!!!

Love ya... missed ya! :)

Mariko said...

Case in Point: Hugh Grant
Because when else is a cheating jerk so handsome, especially paired with squinty eyed and "I'm so not into charm" female leads?

I've been reading, but school internet won't let me comment. Those darn blog haters. So it seems I've been absent, but I haven't.

And I DO want to read that book when you're done. I was afraid there wasn't going to be enough food porn in it.

Jami said...

Just came home from watching HP with the girl teen. They are really going to have to do some backpedaling for HP 7.1 and 7.2.

Can I just say I really like the verb to snog. Quite nice.

I'm also a sucker for British accents, but I just think "how cute" in children.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Loved the movie. We were two of only four total people in the theater so it was awesome :)
(Can't beat a run down theater, in Jersey, at 9 pm on a Sunday night!)

HP can British me anytime (provided he was older or I was younger of course)

nevadanista said...

Oh man, you're just like Isaiah. I always skip the Isaiah chapters and go straight to 2 Nephi 25 so Nephi can tell me what Isaiah just said.

But take it from me, as one who once had a totally super hot surfer dude x-boyfriend until I was 18, and then we were together again for 4 years, albeit in a much cooler situation (as in temperature), you never really get over totally super hot surfer dude x-boyfriends. And although it's possible to nevertheless have a happy and fullfilling marriage, he'll always be in the back of your mind. But lots of people are into swinging these days, and in your case, I highly suggest you have a fling every now and then to keep things exciting and new in your marriage. But you didn't hear that from me.

I think you'll understand this song :)

Funny Farmer said...

Just a few corrections:

1) Deep thought #6: Wouldn't it be funny if people just suddenly disappeared (POOF!) when they broke their unbreakable bonds.

It's actually Unbreakable VOW. Get your nouns straight will ya? (but I definitely vote for the "poof" result. Very funny!)

2) You're only young once.

You were only young once. You ain't any more, babe. :P

3) No wonder poor Kristen/Bella became obsessed with him in real life.

Actually, while waiting in line at walmart the other day, I read in the highly respected peer-viewed journal of tabloid schmuck "US", that it is actually Edward in real life that is obsessed with Bella in real life, but she isn't interested, which only deepens and broadens his hopeless obsession. Turns out he's just a player, and she's not as stupid as she looks. Of course next week the Enquirer will announce their wedding. It's hard to know what to believe anymore. :shakes head sadly:

And finally, a great big thank you to nevadanista for this:

You're just like Dwight Schrute at the company picnic (I think) when he said, "who are all these people? We need a new plague." :D

I am sooooo going to be using that one the next time I go to the pool.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee

The pool. Ha! Good one, Funny Farmer. Nothing like being corrected by a crazy chick with an ooozie. (I know! I spelled that wrong!)

I am totally taking Nevada's advice (even though she called me Isaiah!)

But I totally hear you about the super hot x boyfriend.

Funny Farmer said...

You know I'm just showing the luv.

wv: rucid = rude + lucid. That is SO me!

SWIRL said...

I haven't seen Potter yet--- MY company doesn't want to spend their vacation at the movies--they can do that at home... {darn it} so we had to do boring stuff like the beach all week...

My poor poor dad--- was sitting in the shade and got sunburned on his calves!?!! how does one do that?
He can only guess the sun reflected off the water...or sand and cast it's light full force on his white legs. (We were at Castles- where there's lots of shade to sit under.)


Sandi said...

Wedding and Kasey/Suli visit details to come after I am finished with pond trip, school shopping and reunion this week!! Cannot believe school starts next Monday- UGH!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Okay I wanted to stop back to say you HAVE to check out this video. I know you'll love the song (It's Coldplay, how could you not?) but the video is fantastic!

To make it relate to HP...the dudes are British.

Amber Lynae said...

The tension is really the best part of any story. And accents are very seductive. I love listening to Craig Ferguson. He doesn't even have to be that funny he just has to talk. That Scottish brogue is just mesmerizing.

T said...

hang on - I'll comment in a minute - I've gotta run of and take a cold shower just thinking of Edward with a British Accent - I'm a wreck!

T said...

haha - now I'm calmed down the hormones enough to be fully enjoying the Dwight quote about a new plague (seriously, best TV moment in a long time!) and grateful that FF set you straight on the unbreakable vow - because I hate to be the only Potter fanatic in the room.

(and when I read S. Meyer's books - Edward SO has a sexy accent... which is one of many reasons the books kick the movie's butt)

I am LoW said...

Ohmy, Crash- you are the deepest person I have ever known!!

IWA (e - va) said...

Your deep thoughts are way too deep!hehe! I love 4,5,&6! but Im Sooooo not the HP fan... but i guess it's never to late to try to start!

GUESS WHAT???? I met Anjeny in person! At costco. She was eating lunch with her fambam! Her Pic dont do her justice... she's way more gorgeous in person!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Amen Iwa! Anjeny is so gorgeous in person! She's like a magnet.