Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Road Trip to Honolulu

Yesterday I took a road trip.  

To Honolulu.   

I took the scenic route.  Which is to say I took the same route I always take.  I turned right and drove along Kamehameha highway along the jutting green velvet Ko'olauloa mountain range.  I could have turned left and driven past the startlingly provocative eye candy of Sunset Beach, Pipeline and Waimea Bay, but I did that road trip yesterday.

Color my crazy!!   

In Hawaii cell phone use while driving is now illegal so alls I could think about while passing those velvety green Ko'olauloa mountains was how bad I wanted to talk on the phone.  I was sorely temptated and I broke the law.  

Over and over again.  

It was like a sickness.  

I called my mom and then I called my sister and then I called my daughter's future coach and then I called my hub's future boss. And then I called my hub not once, or twice, but FIVE times.  
"Why do you keep calling me?" he finally said.  "Because I'm trying to get arrested," I told him.  

If I were in jail I couldn't move to Utah.  (Plus I'd have plenty of time to blog my brains out.) 

I drove past two police officers while breaking the law, but neither one arrested me so it looks like I'm still moving to Utah (which isn't so bad if you consider the cable keeps going out (except for the BYU channel) and all we have to watch is four old guys talking about the New Testament).

During my road trip I was looking on the bright side of life through my rose colored sunglasses when Jack Johnson came on the radio and spoke to me, as only Jack Johnson can. He reminded me how badly I want to turn the whole world upside down.  And then I had an epiphany.  Maybe I could start with Utah.  After all, who's to say what's impossible and can't be found?  

Mahalo, Jack Johnson, for that reminder.  

And for this reminder.

(Had to throw that photo up so you never forget that Jack Johnson once wrapped his arm around me . . . and kissed me on the cheek . . . and told my daughter that she looks just like me.)


So, during my road trip to Honolulu I decided to play the cloud game in honor of my MIL. For a split second I thought I saw E.T. as a baby, but mostly I just saw cotton balls.  Tons and tons of cotton balls.  

You know how when you take cotton balls out of the bag they're all bunched up together?  I saw some of those. 

And you know how when you soak your cotton balls in nail polish remover and the cotton ball gets all clumpy and flat?  I saw some of those. 

And you know how when you get a perm and the hair dresser outlines your head in that long stretched out cotton ball that looks like pulled taffy?  I saw some of those too. 

But the truth of the matter it's hard to care about cotton balls when you're driving through Honolulu for the last time?  You would have thought Barry Manilow was in the passenger seat singing Can't Smile Without You by the way my heart got that squeezy-tight sensation it gets when it just can't pump enough palm trees through my veins!  

But I shook it off by stopping at my favorite hole-in-the-wall dive, Abargios.  I sat at my booth all alone and ate some Chicken Parmesan and drank some Mountain Dew and thought about cotton balls.  How soft they are. And fluffy. And innocent. And how they wouldn't know pain if they were soaked in it.  

Stupid cotton balls.  Who needs 'em anyway!?  (Unless you're removing your nail polish or getting a perm).


Rachel Sue said...

This made me sad. I hate moving. But I can't imagine the pain of going from Hawaii to Utah. I'll send all my positive Utah vibes your way. . . maybe that will help.

val of the south said...

Thanks a lot! I haven't been sad about San Diego for a while now, and you're making my eyes leak just a tad with the whole palm tree and going places for the last's sucky hard sometimes isn't it? It doesn't matter if it's a good move for the family, and it'll be alright in the long still sucked big time (and apparently still does sometimes!)

I HATED leaving the beach (and ours were NOWHERE as cool as yours) it seemed to be such a part of who I am.

I think I shall wallow with you today if you don't mind.

val of the south said...

or do you have an extra pair of rose colored glasses I can borrow for the day? I seem to have misplaced mine...

Homer and Queen said...

I really am sorry for you leaving your home, but I swore I would never tell you that! It is easy to break the law in Utah, heck my nephew just did it!

As mush as we hate to admit it, Utah really is beautiful! OK ANYTHING is beautiful compared to Vegas!

Homer and Queen said...

Hey! I beat KP!!!!!

IWA (e - va) said...

Queen you're sooo right? Utah is beautiful... The first time i ever flew into Utah, I was breathless... really ..i kept gasping at the mountain range and realized that is where "Purple Mountain Majesty" came from! They were really purple and i took too many pictures of it, cause i wanted to show everyone else in hawaii that the US really does have Purple Mountains!

And Val.... you came from SanDiego... I love that place! My next favorite to hawaii!

It's funny because i moved from Utah back to hawaii and was really depressed when i had to move.... isnt that awful! But Im sure leaving here to go back there will be even harder for me now!

Btw crash... Utah laws are worse... they dont just have a cell phone ban... They have a whole distraction law! Maybe if you get distracted too many times they'll send you back! heehee!

But you're right, The drive to town is amazing!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Queen would that be a football playing nephew? Do tell.

Deb, it is so good that you are writing all this down, when your memory fades, you will be able to read this and remember how it felt to be ripped like velcro from a place you loved.

I wonder if you keep looking back too much, you will turn into a pillar of salt.

word verifier says weedpi which could be kind of like weepy.

Martha said...

Do you know that song, "Honolulu City Lights". Here's a link to it on youtube.

As you're flying away you need to play it. Just don't smoke a cigaratte like the song says. That would be bad.

April said...

You can use the cotton balls for your leaky eyes...but then you'd have strands of cotton balls stuck in your eye lashes....pieces of Hawaii to take with you.
BTW, I'm really not here right now, I just didn't go into work today. :o

DeNae said...

Iwa, I love the fact that Utah has anti-distraction laws. Who passed them, anyway? Certainly not the multi-bechildrened Mo's who live there!!

And Val, I'm headed to San Diego next week. I'll weep on the beach for you.

But this is the first time I've been to the ocean in 4 years, and like you, Crash, it broke my heart to leave the islands.

Youngblood4ever said...

Will YOU sign my picture of Jack Johnson? I mean, you have been touched and kissed by him, so that is close, right?

And since Utah seems backwards to the rest of the world, go ahead, turn us upside down. It could be fun!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Youngblood! Of course I will sign your photo. And I guess that I could actually turn Utah right side up if you look at it that way. ;)

Poor Utah. It needs a big hug, don't you think?

Amber Lynae said...

I hate leaving part of my heart behind. I think when you live somewhere for so long it becomes a part of you and you a part of it. And when you leave part of you is left behind. So you will always be in Hawaii. And it will always be in you. (oh come one I'm sure you will have sand in your ears for years to come).

I'm glad you didn't get arrested, but sorry that means the move is still on.

IWA (e - va) said...

Hey i have a song for your playlist.... Miss you, My hawaii by Na leo

It will remind you of your drive to town!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey Iwa, that is a perfect song suggestion. I added it to my playlist. I lOVE Na leo!!!!!! I had to turn the song halfway through though because I don't have time to let my eyes sweat today! ;)

Pat, my favorite favorite comment about looking back and turning into a pillar of salt. LOLOLOLOL! oh that is priceless! And wise advice. LOVE IT!

Amber, I couldn't have said it better myself. You nailed it, girlfriend.

Thank you all for your compassion. Tomorrow I'm not going to make you sad, I pinky promise!

T said...

in Utah we can talk on the phone and drive like crazy people all we want... I did it today as a matter of fact - even waved at the copy I passed while doing it...

hmmm... maybe that was a bad idea since BOTH hands were off the wheel...

Funny Farmer said...

T on July 1 the hands free cell phone law went into force. So if you are holding a phone up to your ear, that copper can pull you over.

Sandi said...

Poor dumb cotton balls! Wow sounds like you had a melancholy day. Glad you found a Mt. Dew to share it with you!

Debbie said...

I'm trying to get arrested. Ha! I LOVE your hair! I love love it. It really just makes me super crazy jealous. Beautiful pic.