We thought it was our punishment for jumping ship, but apparently is effected everyone in the hood.
I didn't complain because I've got my dust to deal with, but when it came back on four days later it was all screwywampus. We no longer have ABC or NBC or CBS. What we do have is The Andy Griffeth Show and 'round the clock Roseanne.
It's times like this that I think of Utah and a slight smile spreads across my face and I whisper under my breath, "hmmm, I kinda sorta feel like STICKIN' IT TO THE MAN today!"
Of course it's just a fleeting thought. And I would never seriously entertain it.
In fact usually when I get a subversive thought like that I pull out my enchanted broom and dustpan and begin humming a happy working song until that evil additude goes away.
Or until I break out into that Twisted Sister song, "WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
So I made an executive decision. I'm going to veto my No Dust Left Behind policy. Memories or not, ALL my dust will be left . . . in the dust.
Get it? In the dust. Aaaah, sometimes I crack myself up.
Except the pixie dust. The pixie dust will stay because I will need it to cast my charms on each room before leaving so the next inhabitants will live long and prosper in their new environment.
Charming a room entails emptying it of any bad karma and replacing it with blessings and luck.
It's fairly easy to do. First you must convert your room and then baptize it with soft scrub. Then you simply burn 13 drops of Cherry Blossom oil on a clay pot while playing Mozart, sprinkling pixie dust and doing jazz hands.
I actually just found out who the next inhabitants of our house will be. My next door neighbor Martha!!! That's right, peeps! For a month. While the university remodels her floors.
I plan on sprinkling extra pixie dust and charming the socks off each room so Martha and her family will live long and prosper, (even though she's trying to give us the cold shoulder, telling us she doesn't need us anymore and threatening that she's never going to play tennis or go to the beach with us again.)
At least Martha will get to walk a month in our shoes.
Maybe she won't be so hard on us once she sees what life is like without ABC, CBS and NBC.