IN AN AIRPORT!!!!!
How cool is that?
Only in Utah! And only in Utah will the airport police dude give your kids a high five when you go through security.
Maybe I'm gonna like it here after all.
But only begrudgingly--with arms folded across my chest and mouth puckered into a frowny face. (And don't you dare try to turn that frown upside down either.)
Yesterday I expressed my gratitude that I don't have to create an alter ego to cope with reality. And then I said that with a gallon of Mountain Dew and a few tricks reality just ain't that hard to cope with.
Well I spoke too soon because yesterday I had a few mini momentary lapses of reason. In fact I'm thinking of marketing a new weight loss program. All you have to do is move from Hawaii after 18 years and you'll sweat your eyeball out. I've lost at least 10 lbs this week alone. And I haven't even started packing yet.
It's a good thing the universe is so darn nice because every time I burst into tears and shake my fists at the sky screaming WHY GAD WHY????? the universe sends me a sign that I am moving in the right direction.
But last night my hub and I were huddled in bed whispering in the dark. "Are we crazy to make like a tree and leaf our life in Hawaii for a gallon of Mountain Dew?" I said.
"Let's ask the universe," my hub said.
So we did.
Then I pulled the covers up to my chin and stared into the darkness.
"What are you doing?" My hub finally said.
"I'm waiting for the sign," I told him.
"What sign?" he said.
"The sign from the universe. It should be coming any minute."
Just then my Rockstar brother's black cat burst into our room and zipped across our bed.
"Is that the sign?" my hub asked.
"No," I told him. "That was just a black cat crossing our path."
The signs are usually more subtle than that, right?
I have a few tricks up my sleeve to cope with my new reality. I'm going to pretend I still live in Hawaii. That might make the transition easier on all of us. I have years of photos and stories from Hawaii so in blog time I will begin living my life backwards. You will never even realize I'm actually in Utah living my life forwards.
But I'm not very good at make-believe and pretending so maybe that won't work.
Maybe I could fly back to Hawaii twice a year and stay with Martha for a month. We will make bread together and pasta salad and swirly cupcakes for Kute Kasey.
Maybe I will fly all my Hawaii girlz here and we'll buy a purple van and we'll take a road trip. Like Thelma and Louise, only younger and cooler and more righteous.
We'll seriously blog our way across America. Just like we planned.
Remember girlz? Remember the plan?
HEY! I think I just got my sign.
I just remembered that my Rockstar brother has these signs all over in his house:
When you walk out the front door or when you go to the bathroom or when you sit down to play the piano you are confronted with these signs.
And they make you think, "Remember what?"
And then you start worrying that you might forget to remember what you can't remember you didn't want to forget.
It's my sign!!!
The universe is trying to tell me to REMEMBER something!!!!
I love being able to read the universe's mind.
(Psssst. What do you think the universe wants me to remember?)