Tuesday, July 28, 2009


I'm sitting in the SLC airport responding to all my comments via their free wi-fi.



How cool is that?
Only in Utah! And only in Utah will the airport police dude give your kids a high five when you go through security.

Maybe I'm gonna like it here after all.

But only begrudgingly--with arms folded across my chest and mouth puckered into a frowny face. (And don't you dare try to turn that frown upside down either.)

Yesterday I expressed my gratitude that I don't have to create an alter ego to cope with reality. And then I said that with a gallon of Mountain Dew and a few tricks reality just ain't that hard to cope with.

Well I spoke too soon because yesterday I had a few mini momentary lapses of reason. In fact I'm thinking of marketing a new weight loss program. All you have to do is move from Hawaii after 18 years and you'll sweat your eyeball out. I've lost at least 10 lbs this week alone. And I haven't even started packing yet.

It's a good thing the universe is so darn nice because every time I burst into tears and shake my fists at the sky screaming WHY GAD WHY????? the universe sends me a sign that I am moving in the right direction.

Mahalo Universe.

But last night my hub and I were huddled in bed whispering in the dark. "Are we crazy to make like a tree and leaf our life in Hawaii for a gallon of Mountain Dew?" I said.

"Let's ask the universe," my hub said.

So we did.

Then I pulled the covers up to my chin and stared into the darkness.
"What are you doing?" My hub finally said.

"I'm waiting for the sign," I told him.

"What sign?" he said.

"The sign from the universe. It should be coming any minute."

Just then my Rockstar brother's black cat burst into our room and zipped across our bed.

"Is that the sign?" my hub asked.

"No," I told him. "That was just a black cat crossing our path."

The signs are usually more subtle than that, right?

I have a few tricks up my sleeve to cope with my new reality. I'm going to pretend I still live in Hawaii. That might make the transition easier on all of us. I have years of photos and stories from Hawaii so in blog time I will begin living my life backwards. You will never even realize I'm actually in Utah living my life forwards.

But I'm not very good at make-believe and pretending so maybe that won't work.

Maybe I could fly back to Hawaii twice a year and stay with Martha for a month. We will make bread together and pasta salad and swirly cupcakes for Kute Kasey.

Maybe I will fly all my Hawaii girlz here and we'll buy a purple van and we'll take a road trip. Like Thelma and Louise, only younger and cooler and more righteous.

We'll seriously blog our way across America. Just like we planned.

Remember girlz? Remember the plan?

HEY!  I think I just got my sign. 


I just remembered that my Rockstar brother has these signs all over in his house:

When you walk out the front door or when you go to the bathroom or when you sit down to play the piano you are confronted with these signs. 

And they make you think, "Remember what?" 

And then you start worrying that you might forget to remember what you can't remember you didn't want to forget.

It's my sign!!! 

The universe is trying to tell me to REMEMBER something!!!! 

I love being able to read the universe's mind.

(Psssst.   What do you think the universe wants me to remember?)


The Garden of Egan said...

Oh, my you are making me laugh! I hope you remember but in the meantime pretend you are in Hawaii...doesn't the airport tarmac in SLC look like the sandy tropical beaches of Hawaii???
See? It's better already.

Ceramic Banana said...

My favorite sign was a stop sign I saw once that said "Don't STOP the beat." I took it as a gentle reminder from Universe.

(p.s. me too! He's my favorite student too!!! I really think we should be friends. [as I've been surreptitiously stalking your blog for a while now] And when I return to Provo you can be my personal HUMOR TUTOR!)

Anonymous said...

I'm one of the blogthedayaway girls, and your post totally reminded me of this quote from Brian Andreas over at
I used to wait for a sign, she said, before I did anything. Then one night I had a dream & an angel in black tights came to me & said, you can start any time now, & then I asked is this a sign? & the angel started laughing & I woke up. Now, I think the whole world is filled with signs, but if there's no laughter, I know they're not for me.
and good luck with your move- we call Utah "Mecca" and joke about how we'll never move there!

IWA (e - va) said...

I think the universe wants you to remember that Hawaii is only a non-stop direct flight away(when you take delta...... or you can take three connections if you take united.... or even as man as four when you take hawaiian!)

Guess where were going to be next april? P.R.O.V.O!

Guess what a lot of the wal-marts do in Utah? If there is something that you could find in another walmart (Like in Hawai...... Like Timtams), They'll order it for you... maybe they'll order some for you.. if not.. there is a cute asian store in Provo/Orem that has them!

Guess what song was playing when I came on your page? Ol' Johhny Mayer saying say what you need to say! maybe thats what he wants you to remember!

Can you remember to remind me to give you a song before you leave... so everytime you miss hawaii.. you can turn it on and I will heal you, because it will be exactly what you needed to say out loud about how you're feeling about hawaii!

Amber Lynae said...

I think you are supposed to remember EVERYTHING. The universe it trying to tell you that you are never allowed to forget anything. Good luck with that- I can't even remember what I ate for breakfast. :)

CaJoh said...

I heard it said that your head weighs about 10 pounds. I never thought your eye did too. Unless you are indicating that you lost 10 pounds through tears.

Hoping that the adjustment is painless and you don't lose an eye over it.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Remember how insane you are!

And how much we luv you, Hawaii or Utah. Though it would be much cooler to say "I'm going to Hawaii to see Crash!" than having to say "I'm going to Utah to see Crash. Yee-haw."

You see the difference? Luv ya anyway though.

Martha said...

Good think T. is coming back here next summer to be my tennis assistant. You guys can come visit her. We'll put up a tent in between our house and your x house.

Did you know all the neighbors are vying for your house? Yep, Houghtons and McCarrey's are thinking of upgrading to a 4 bedroom. Plus, Housing has to now finally install new floors, and paint, and fix the cupboards, and repair all the things they haven't done for almost 10 years.

John E. finally gave us the go ahead with our wood floors. I gotta call them right now and set it up.

Sandi said...

I think you are supposed to really load up on the caramacs before you leave so that you can continue sending them to me. Yep, I'm pretty sure that's it.
So cool that Kritta met my missionary nephew huh? I still haven't heard any details and I am so curious to know how it all happened!
YES you should come to the wedding in December- see you already have a reason to go back :) I need to email Iwa and ask her some stuff- I'm so glad I stumbled upon your blog - because of you, KK got Kute Kupcakes on her 21st, I got caramacs and asian crackers and a funny birthday card myself, my nephew met a friendly face on his mission, Iwa offered to help with our wedding, I got to see Jack Johnsons undies, and I have laughed until I cried, and even though I missed the blog lunch I feel like I have a friend in everyone who chats in your comment box! Oh man I am rambling. I am feeling all melancholy about not hearing any more Hawaiian adventures from you. I know the Utah ones will be good too, but I will miss having you in Hawaii! I will now shut up.

Youngblood4ever said...

I'm going to have to start the sweating-eyeballs diet. Help me think of something sad. Although, I think I need to go on it like 3 times to lose all of the weight I need. So help me think of 3 super-sad things.

val of the south said...

It makes me so happy that you're going to be in Utah! Except then I start feeling sad for your Hawaiian friends, but then it's hard to feel really sad when they have the really hot surfer dudes, and then I remember we have the really hot pioneer dudes and peach season, so then I'm not so sad to be me in Utah!

I think you're supposed to remember all your new buds in Utah so you're not so sad, and now all your Hawaiian buds will come visit you here and we'll get to meet them too! It's really a win-win-win situation, you'll see!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Spencer W. Kimball said that the word "Remember" is the very most important one in the Book of Mormon. I wonder why it is so easy to forget?

I think the most important thing to remember might be to breathe. Just remember in and out. Sometimes in such situations it is hard to remember the value of oxygen, but it really does help make things bearable. :)

I do offer you my condolences about moving, because I think move is a four letter word and is on of the worst things that can happen to you. But I know this will be worth it.

Just think of Lehi, he had lived in Jeruselem from more than 18 years and yet he had to move. I am sure it was not easy, but I know you will be blessed for going and doing, no matter how hard it will be.

Big hugs. And I agree that it is hard not to mourn with all our hawaii sisters who we have come to love. I am sad to know how much this will cause them pain. So to all of you, a big hug also.

Wolfgang said...

oh my gosh, this is oh my gosh!!! what? moving? for reals? i don't believe you, because last time i past your office your name was still up!! :) this is the most sad thing I ever heard. lame!!! why in the world would you ever leave hawaii? okay I would too, after i graduate which won't be for like another 80 years. anyway, I need your new address, asap. so i can send you a wedding invite. oh remember you thought i have no idea about love and look at me now, i'm getting married in 24 days. ;) love you sister frampton.

IWA (e - va) said...

Im totally with NHC and breathing! LOL!

Sandi- my email is email away!

Crash, Hey guess who i know that knows you and you know! Tia H.... she said she was in your ENGL 201.... I have her in a polysci class this term... im so out of my element there!

ONE more remember.... Remember you are suppose to be teaching English this fall on wednesdays from 5-8pm... i totally told my friend to jump in your class because if she didnt she will regret it for the rest of her life!

Amanda said...

"I'm not very good at make-believe and pretending "
I was laughing so hard at this comment!!!!

I was conjuring the image of Jane relating her lunch with the girls before leaving Hawaii last time. In a shocked tone she said, "Those pictures aren't real. Well, they're real, but Crash would tell us to go stand by a sign and then she would caption it completely different. We really weren't doing those things!"

nevadanista said...

Oh how I love you!

But gads, were you in SLC yesterday? I thought you were down south. I probably drove right past you on my way home from dropping off my daughter and her friends at BYU for EFY. But I thought of you at cafe Rio in S Jordan yesterday when Pinball Wizard came on :)

I think the universe is trying to remember who you are and to not start bein' up in everybody's grillz about their business once you are living in Utard :)

Oh, and to bring lots of lotion and saline solution for your nose...

Anjeny said...

LOL Amanda...I was laughing with you too on that line...Crash not good at make-believe..ahahah. You know Crash, we really should've set your pants on fire at Arby'

NHC..thank you for that made me feel so much better. We will definitely miss Crash, who else is going to get us to go out on a girls day out and tell us to pose by some ridiculous looking sign and then write up a completely make-believe post about it even though she doesn't pretend? LOL

Crash, the universe is telling to remember that the surfer dude is way more fun than the pioneer dude..lmao.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I think it's telling you remember Park City. MUCH better alternative to Provo and not too far away. We lived in Park City for a few years and loved it. It's very un-Utah like and beautiful.

Funny Farmer said...

I only have two caramacs left :<

But I used those tweezers you gave me out of your purse today! :D

All you have to do to escape the dry and dust of utah is go to the backside of the mountains to the east. It's lush and moist and green... almost like Hawaii except not really. :-/

wv: ossessed. just needs a p! :D

T said...

if it was just telling you to remember couldn't it have just tied a string around your finger... seems much simpler than making the rockstar brother fill his home with tiles...

Cynthia said...

I found you via the MMB- hope it's okay to comment and welcome you here!

It would be so hard to leave a place like Hawaii. Dog dang!

BUT one of the advantages of being here will be the chance to go to bloggy ladies lunches and meet lots of fun gals in real time! See? It's not all bad.

April said...

Remember to floss? clean underwear? be nice to your sister? brush your teeth? take out the trash? say I love you to your kids....I give up!

Terresa said...

I'm reading your post, crying tears of late night happiness. You are one funny lady...sure to be missed in Hawaii and sure to be loved in Utah. Move over Cache Valley Cheese, here comes the Crash Test Dummy!

Mariko said...

No no no, it's definitely telling you to remember that you're lucky you live Hawaii.

I think you've forgotten. Good thing you're coming back now so you can remember.

aniC said...

were we sitting in the slc airport at the same time yesterday?? freaky!