Thursday, March 11, 2010

My Twhylight Review (with emphasis on the why)

This is hard. Reaaaal hard. Real real real hard. (Tryin' not to sound like an English teacher here, peeps.)

All the hype and controversy. All the peer pressure to lub it and to hate it. All the words I'm going to eat either way . . . I've got indigestion just thinking about it, but it's official. I'm part of the club. I can no longer make uninformed jokes and sweeping generalizations about vampires. From now on all my vampire jokes will be informed, and so will my sweeping generalizations.


I don't hate it. But I don't LUB it.

It's not that bad. But it's not THAT good.

I'm ambivilant.

Go look that word up, but not in the Urban Dictionary because it will tell you I'm a two faced swear word. Look it up in the real dictionary, but spell it like this: ambivalent. It will tell you that there are both positive and negative feelings coexisting simultaneously within me, which are drawing me in opposite directions.

In other words, I'm a two faced swear word.

Let's just say I have issues. With my English teacher eyeballs. I wish I could take my English teacher eyeballs out of their sockets when I read, but that's like telling my hub to go out and play basketball blindfolded.

My hub has basketball eyeballs. Not only does he know exactly where everyone on the court should be at any given time, but he also knows where their body parts should be. Arms high, knees bent, butt out, now butt in, now arms slightly lower and knees straight, now the butt should rotate 165 degrees to the right.

I'm more like, "Now make like a question mark and shoot. That's it! Good job! Now pretend you're an exclamation point and block that shot! Oh, and GO, FIGHT, WIN!"

One time I had to give my son a pep talk before a basketball game because my hub wasn't around. I handed him a shoe box and a guitar pick and so "Go get 'em, tiger!" He was like "What's this?" and I was like, "It's your props. Daddy said you need to box out and set a pick."

I'm all about object lessons when I have no idea what I'm talking about.

My sister has Pottery Barn eyeballs. She can walk into a room and know exactly what is out of place. I'm forever asking her where to put all my commas and periods because my house is like one long incomplete sentence. "Do you think a dash would look nice over here by the couch?" I'll say. "Maybe two dashes," she'll say "then you'll have a nice hyphen to accent all your nouns."

Me? Alls I've got are English teacher eyeballs. It's my cross to bear.

You wanna know why I call it Twhylight? Because, not only does it raise a lot of eyebrows, it raises a lot of questions.

Like WHY, Stephie WHY? WHY all the overbearing adjectives and weak adverbs? You might as well plaster your living room wall with vinyl lettering: His voice was wry, appallingly luscious, mouth watering, icily acerbic, luxuriant, almost inaudible and troubled, and then invite my sister over.

You get me?

And while we're on the subject, why not just title the book Spectacular Dracular?

And WHY WHY WHY couldn't you make Bella just a little bit more interesting? Give her a hobby or a skill or an asset besides her floral scent. Give her optimism or playfulness. For goodness sakes, let her throw a freakin' snowball without grumbling. Give her anything besides her debilitating, crippling clumsiness. I mean, SERIOUSLY! COME ON already with the fainting and the swooning and the tripping and the grimacing. (Oh me, of little patience.) 

Give us a reason WHY WHY WHY a 100-year-old spectacular, glorious, breathtaking, perfect, bedazzled Adonis like Edward would spy on Bella in her sleep, eavesdrop on her conversations, taste her teardrops and call her his Heroine--as in Crack Cocaine.

Let's face it, he's a crack head. A dreamy, bizare, fantastic, amazing crack head.

But you know what? I like him anyway. I wouldn't want to date him because addicts give me post traumatic stress, but I genuinely like him because his conflict is so universal and familiar and that makes him sympathetic. And of course the way he handles his conflict makes him admirable. I even kinda like Bella, when I'm not wanting to smack her around.

Good job, Stephanie Meyers.

But WHY WHY WHY did you wait until page 300 to add the sub-plot?

Oh, who am I kidding?  Who needs subplot when you've got intensely obsessive/compulsive romance, huh? huh? huh?

If I hadn't already been there/done that with the OCDR, (and if my English teacher eyeballs weren't stuck on my plate) I would probably be on the Spectacular Dracular band wagon myself.

Bottom line: I appreciate that sometimes, more than other times, we need an escape route from reality.  I'm an escape artist myself so I would be a hypocrite if I said I wish Edward had a few unsightly nose hairs or that he would leave the toilet seat up once in a while or pull his shirt up over his pot belly when he watches sports and asks Bella to bring him another pint of grizzly bear blood. But as it stands at this point in my life idealism makes me grumpy, and I kicked my savior complex during my thirties.

However, for the record, I am nothing if not tolerant of perfection so I still accept Edward unconditionally, even though he doesn't have any flaws. 


katie t said...


my exact feeling about the bella/edward obsession. why would HE need HER? i wish she had more of a "character" too and wasn't soooo dramatic (though i know how we can be soooo like that at her age)

um...but with that being said.
i LOVE edward. did i have some weirdo reality escape like some? no. but do i LOVE edward? yes.

you also have to realize that i already had a "vampire" obsession. i lived in the phase of "buffy the vampire slayer" which lead to my true, true, true LOVE for vampires...."ANGEL"!!!!!!! and now i am in love with damon from "the vampire diaries"! i know. i am scandlous!?!?!

but back to "twilight"....i did LOVE the first book ie edward...but i got over the series fast with jacob and .... and ... and ... and ...

i mean. come on. and did they have to be sooooo long with such imagined descriptive never used of or heard of words?!? lol

sarahlynn said...

I thought the same thing about Bella! Even though she is a kindred-klutz, she left me cold (ha ha ha...get it...cold? Like Edward?). I kept wanting her to go and do SOMETHING interesting...go volunteer somewhere, laugh once or twice, take up knitting...anything that would give her character a bit of roundness besides falling down or obssessing about a perfect Voctorian vampire.

Although, this klutsy girl (me) obssessed about the perfect vampire, too, after I read/ met him.

Dang...maybe I need to get a hobby, too.

Sandi said...

I think you are a two face swear word!

Sandi said...

JK. JK. I have not read it. I will not read it, but I think I agree with you on all points. I did cave in and watch the movies and I cannot agree more that Bella needs some skills. come on, even Napolean's got skills! She is just grumpy and blah and I cannot imagine anyone that grumpy and blah could really be anyone's own personal heroine, ESPECIALLY someone who's been around the block a time or two, such as our friend Edward. Plus you left out the whole spider monkey thingy. UGH. I think you did a great review and were very objective and I can still respect you, even though you are a two faced swear word.

Sandi said...

And I am so glad that someone else finds it as disturbing as I do that he watches her while she sleeps. *shudder*

Sandi said...

p.s. are you going to be reading anymore of these books??

April said...

hahahaha! Sandi! You always crack me up! I did read ALL of the books (thanks to my youngest son bringing home the first book). LOLOL! The trailer for Eclipse just came on and my oldest just said-Shoot me! hahahaha! So there you go. The diversity in my home. But I must agree that Bella needs a personality and I couldn't understand why Edward wanted to be around her other than because of her smell. Some pheromones!

ben & marti jensen said...

I always tell people who are going to read these books that you have to get in touch with your "inner high school girl" or else you get annoyed by the whole book.

Garden of Egan said...

Hey two faced had me at your English teachers eyeballs.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

He loved her because he wanted to drink her blood. How bizarre is that?! I mean, think Jeffery Domner. FREAKY.

Besides that, can you imagine kissing a statue, a cold rock form of a man, and it being as great as she said??? I wasn't buying that either.

But I liked that Edward was a good guy. (even though he just feel in love with her b/c he wanted her blood)

But all of this is why I picked Jacob. :-)

But I am with you, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it. It was poorly written (and I ain't a English teacher, haha!) But it spun an interesting story.

The worst book is the last. Boy howdy, she messed that one up.

Stephen said...

It was honest, clever, funny, and well done, even for an English teacher!

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I read them because I was guilted into it. But I found they were OKAY, not super by any means but the story drew me in (certainly not the writing). You should go to and read the second version of the first book - told from Edward's pov (Midnight Sun). It's really interesting (currently only available at her site and it's not finished. She says she going to publish the entire first book from Edwards view...eventually.)

So yah, I didn't LOVE it but I didn't hate it. I've read it several times (maybe trying to find the reason why I liked it??) I don't know. But welcome to the I've Read Twhylight Club and I didn't die Club.

I will forever now write Twhylight instead of Twilight. Hehe.

Migillicutty said...

Edward scares me. He's just creepy!

(I told that to my friend mom once, while we were on a road trip, and she seriously turned around and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the trip. It was hilarious ;)

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I watch my husband sleep. Just sayin.

And he said when I was preggers he'd watch my belly quake while the baby partied and I slept.

And I didn't like Edward much until the movie. It's a visual thing.

And.... here is the post that I texted to you "this is the one post I'd want you to read above all others." (or something like that)

earlfam said...

Bella can't be special. If Bella were special then there would be a reason Edward fell in love with her. And that would mean that some fabulous perfect immortal being would never fall in love with me, because I'm not special like Bella. Understand? It's the fact that she is not special that makes it all so romantic. Her lack of specialness gives hope to every teenage girl who thinks "I'm not special, no one will ever love me." But maybe that's not true, Edward loved Bella because they were made for each other. Maybe there's some fantastic guy out there that universe has decreed to be "the one" for me. I don't have to have any talents or be a good and interesting person, he will just love me because he's supposed to. That's why it's romantic (and utterly ridiculous and even a bit dangerous-but there you have it.)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

LoW, ha ha. I think it helped, definitely, that I had seen the movie first because I was picturing Rob Patterson as Edward. And I liked him as Edward, probably because I hadn't read the book yet. It helped me to know that Edward wasn't really perfect. Physical perfection is all relative anyway. I like flaws and quirks.

Hey LoW, I didn't get that text. When did you text it? If it was last week, my text box was full so I wasn't receiving any. Maybe I missed yours when I finally cleared my in box out.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Earlfarm, TOUCHE! I think you're onto something. I couldn't have said it better myself. And maybe that's the appeal, and why we don't hate Bella. We are all annoying when it comes down to it. I was just talking to my mom about this a few days ago because she said she always felt uninteresting just like Bella. And then she was saying it would make so much more sense if Bella and Jacob got together because he brings out the best in her, and yet BELLA LOVES EDWARD and they just ARE meant to be together.

And ain't that the way love goes. That's why it's so risky. Raise your hand if you've fallen HARD for someone who was totally wrong for you, but you just couldn't HELP it.

Stephie totally tapped into that conflict.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

MiGillicuty, hee hee

Along those same lines, we're all annoying, bottom line, but we're also all creepy too. ha ha

I'd love to go on a road trip with you. I bet it would be interesting.

Andrea, interesting about the Edward point of view story. My mom is going to be soooo excited. She lives in the Twhylight Zone. hee hee

But you didn't hear it from me.

And Andrea, I get you about trying to figure out what you like about it as you're reading it. It's like you're thinking "For all intents and purposes I should HATE this! Why don't I?" maybe it has to do with what Earlfarm said. Ha ha I mean Earlfam. Sorry, Earlfam.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

LoW, ha ha ha I am laughing because I totally thought the same thing when I was reading. Every time they kissed I imagined what it would be like to kiss a porcelain toilet.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ben and Amp, My daughter always tells me I'm more in touch with my inner high school girl than she is. ha ha. I would have to agree. ;)

Sandi, SMACK. hahahaha I LUB YOU! And I'll pay you a million dollars and send you a gallon of glitter to read Twhylight. I really want you to be part of the sparkly girls club.

I think I will read the other books. Just to be INFORMED! ;) ;) ;)

OUCH! Stop poking me in the eye!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Katie, I'm laughing about your secret vampire obsession. hahaha Who knew. You're outed now, girlfriend. So when you say you got over the series fast with Jacob, does that mean you're on team Jacob, or you wanted more Edward? I need to find out if I could be converted to team Jacob. Sandi, you wanna see if you could be converted too?

Sarah, you silly goose. You are the most interesting person I know. Seriously! You're like a magnet. One day you will see yourself in one of my novels.

P.S. For the record, I'm glad my daughter hated it. At least for now.

Megan and Keli'i said...

Completely agree with all of this. Didn't love it, didn't hate, and all the imperfections with the writing drove me crazy. Bella's sucks a heroine. There's way too many adjectives, and the battles at the end are such a let down.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Megan, spoken like a true English teacher. ;)

I can't wait to hear what Braden Bell has to say.

Sandi said...

Nope I don't want to be converted. I do not want to admit that I looked at either one of them- But just for the record, when I saw the movie I totally got suckered in by Jacob and his amazing little bod. Yep I'm one of those old lady perverts ..haha.
I'm afraid I am like you and am very in touch with my inner teenage girl too...kind of embarassing at times. And FYI I have those pesky chocolate/diet coke kind of eyeballs :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hahahahah Sandi

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Oh! ANNNNND (can't we go on and on about Twilight??)... the sparkly part in the book KILLLLLED me!! Killed me!!! And I was so saying, "They won't put that crap in the movie! Any producer with any sense...." and then, THEY DID!

I could have died!

Gary and Nolan had the funniest conversation about that. Wish I had my video camera out for it.

DeNae said...

OK, before I comment on your fabulous post, I want to point out that "Earlfam" is "Migilicutty's" mom. And I know them both. So there's Migilicutty, saying Edward creeps her out. And her mom saying, "That's because Migilicutty knows she's special!" Love that family!

Now, as for your post, Crash, I'll just say this:

Why, Why, Why did you leave me as the last holdout over the age of 15 to not read those books?? I always knew I was validated, as long as my good pal Crash hadn't read them either. It's lonely and cold where I am, now. Lonely and cold.

(When I first saw the pictures of Bella and Edward on the movie posters, I thought they were both vampires. I mean, I lived in the Northwest for seven years, and I'm here to tell you, no one is that pale or dead-looking. Except maybe Bill Gates before he met Melinda.)

Braden said...

Crash, I think you conducted yourself honorably in this very difficult assignment--writing the review, not reading the book. Difficult job for sure.

I hear you about English teacher eyes. As a theatre teacher, I can no longer enjoy any movies or plays. Ever again. It's almost as tragic as Edward and Bella.

Sadly, I have realized that you will probably hate my book even though I tried to be a little restrained with my adjectives. I will still read your blog faithfully, though.

The Mom said...

1. You didn't say ONE WORD about Jacob.

2. You saw the movie, and then read the book and imagined Rob Patterson. I read the books first, then saw the movie, and couldn't get over how NOT Edward Rob Patterson was. He was not EVEN close to being as beautiful as Edward in my mind was. It was SO disappointing.
3. When do you start the next book? BWAHHAHA

LiafromLaie said...

^ I have to agree with THE MOM. When I read the books it was before the movies and my Edward was a lot better looking and totally not Rob Patterson at all.

Hmmm.... I found Bella annoying because she reminded me so much of girls I didn't like in High School. I never understood teenage angst and romance. Heck still don't understand it now.

Crash I do have to agree with you about the eye thing. My English degree pretty much ruined my eyes for a lot of books I encounter now.

katie t said...

no no no NOOOOOOO to team jacob!

i am team vampire...angel, edward, stephen, damon, etc etc


IWA (e - va) said...

So i think Earlfam hit it on the nose! ditto to her.. but i couldn’t have ever said it as well as her plus she gave me a light bulb moment!

Braden.. im glad to hear your theater eyes disapproved of their acting... i saw the movie with a bunch of math eyes and we literally laughed through the whole movie because the acting was so bad!

I also had also imagines a better edward in my mind from reading the books...and that actually goes for all the actors! I think brad pitt would have made a much better Carlisle...except esme.. i loved liz reaser as esme.

I think Bella should have only been about 14.. Because i swear when Stephanie explains her.. she has all the tendencies and emotional distress of the 7th & 8ths graders i teach!

so do my lingering punctuations drive you bonkers?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH! ARRRG! I wrote a HUGE long comment responding to everything. And I even said a little too much about my issues, but it's gone. AAAAHHH! Martha, what was that control that recovers stuff?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Too late!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I'll have to come back later and make myself vulnerable all over again. ha ha (Yea, right!)

My YW have a basketball game right now. Regions, baby!!

OldBoatGuy said...

I've got mechanical eyeballs, and wooden eyeballs. I'm the OldBoatGuy with boatguy eyeballs.

So I read the book with interest about his cars and her truck. And I have envious eyeballs.

I liked it, and read them all with anxious eyeballs.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

I think I am opposite everyone else. I could NEVER imagine Edward beautiful when reading the books. He was stone cold and pale and glittery, and you're going to tell me he's hot?! Puh-leez.

Then the movie came out and I was like, oh..... yeah, that's hot. :)

sarahlynn said...

Speaking of acting...did anyone notice that Bella (what is her real name again?) did the whole "Party of Five" TV show thingy? You know the, I'm -scrunching-my -forehead- in-dramatic-consternation-because-I-am-so-(insert any tortured emotion here). It seemed like the whole "Party of Five" cast had the same acting coach.

Not a big fan of the whole scrunched- forehead thingy that actors do. I think it's such an acting cheat.

Ohhhh..I would love to be in one of your novels! Please make me interesting, beautiful (but with an arresting flaw or two) and without frizzy hair. Oh, and can I be a good singer, too? The cool scratchy- voiced type singer that makes people cry and think of home instead of cry because they are begging you to stop singing. Pretty please?

But if you were really feeling generous, I would love to be a secret agent that kicks butts and takes names. I'd trade everything, even the non- frizzy hair. I've always wanted to be a secret agrent.

Okay, I'd really settle for anything in one of your novels. You are amazing. Truly, you are one of the best writers I've read. I can't wait to read a novel that way I can get a BIG fix of your writing.

Hurry, hurry and write it! :-)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh goodness, SO much to SAY!

Sarah, ha ha ha You are such a cutie patootie. And you make me feel so good about myself. That is high praise coming from YOU. Thank you so much. I will make sure you character's hair doesn't retain water. We all need a healthy dose of fantasy afterall. ;) I will not have frizzy hair as an author either. And you had me laughing at the Party of Five thing. AMEN!

LoW, HIGH FIVE. My favorite kiss was the one where Bella said her lips BURNED beneath his cold porcelain kiss. hee hee That's oxymoronic, ain't it?

How cute is the Old Boat Guy with the anxious wooden mechanical eyeballs. LUB YOU, OBG! I'm going to tell my mom that you read them all and like them with anxious eyes. She will be muy impressinado.

Iwa, I agree with you about Earlfam. I also couldn't have said it better myself. And NO your lingering punctuation doesn't bother me. I don't even know what lingering punctuation is. I bluffed my way through the whole English teacher thing.

Braden, no worries, I'm sure I will not hate your book. I'm not that critical. I just act tough so people think I have a stone cold heart. And anyway my real issue is with female LDS authors who use their power with the pen to make sure the super hot, popular bad boys fall in love with the bland, unlikable, uptight girls. And as if that isn't enough the bad boys are always converted.

We Mormons have our own blend of fantasy.

But I've said too much.

Katie, I hear you, girl.

Hey, everyone, I went and saw Remember Me today (LUBBeD it!) and saw the Eclipse preview. WoW! It looks intense! Kinda sexy. Uber complicated. Poor Bella having to choose between a ware wolf and a vampire.

Lia, your obsessive/compulsive day will come. Mark my words.

The Mom

1. I didn't see New Moon so I have no affection for Jacob yet.

2. EXACTLY. You nailed it.

3. Tomorrow. hee hee hee

DeNae, NO WAY! What a small blogasphere. You know all the cool people.

So funny to think of the moms explaining Twilight to the daughters. Whenever I talk about it my daughter says "MOm you need to get a friend."

So rude, that one.

DeNae, sorry for leaving you the only remaining member of the old lady's against romance club.

I don't think you could stomach it, sweetie. Sorry.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I came back to clarify. My issues with female LDS authors started way before S. Meyer, who actually only gravitates slightly toward the trend, but is way way better at it so she's excluded from my sweeping generalization.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow, not since Dr Suess and the sneeches, has there been a topic so polarizing. Stars or no stars, I think what is really important is that we are all in this together. Ya get me?

And holy forty comments batman.

So what if you are a plain jane cougar who enjoys seeing nice abs run around on the big screen bare nekid, or prefer to imagine the perfect romance all sparkly with pink ponies and rainbows. A person's a person no matter how small or hairy or sparkly.

IWA (e - va) said...

i keep forgetting to tell you ... I heart will young (leave right now)! and doesnt he look vampire-ish... i had googled him the other day and he totally looked like a bad vampire and in a couple pics i swear he was all sparkly!

btw i love that you added HOME by michel buble... that was my anthem when i lived in utah.. i played it over and over again.. i think my husband thought i had gone crazy, he would constantly say.. uh you are home!

Anyone else but you by the moldy peaches has become our family song... my kids have memorized the words and they ask to play it over and over and over... and they song on the top of their lungs and giggle and laugh.. its hilarious!

ps... 7th ward youth went on a field trip to the big island temple today and this past week was their ward conference... and Penny is due again any day now! Miss seeing you around even if its just passing in our cars!

DeNae said...

I'm pretty sure you're right. I get acid reflux just thinking about reading one of them. I hope that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. I'm just not much of a romantic, with or without fangs.

Anjeny said...

Ok so I thought your review was totally cool, you read the book, wrote your viewpoint on it and moved on..I think. So I was going to comment on the job well done but then I got held up in your comment box. And I'm sure after I'm done commenting on the comments, I'd probably be blacklisted by all but whatev..right? LOL

I'm not head over heels in love with the book but I don't hate fact I like it. I read it to see what all the buzz was about. I think majority of the commentors are way too critical, everyone dissecting the book and the movie apart. Seriously all the details y'all went into, porcelain kissing, glittery, kissing iceberg hot lips, the wrong character playing the wrong image, blah blah blah you guys actually pay that detailed attention to the book and movie?

Yes, Bella was a klutz, maybe a bit too non-talented and a not so special girl but I like how earlfam points it out here "Her lack of specialness gives hope to every teenage girl who thinks "I'm not special, no one will ever love me."

Why does it only have to be the special or beautiful, popular girls who gets the "hunk" or the jocks or the "hot" sizzling guys? And what your mom said, who can explain love? Who knows, maybe SM is trying to prove the "opposite attracts" theory. Maybe the way she wrote this book had helped some of the poor teenage girls out there who may be battling with some major self-image issue or their self-worth, who knows.

To give you a heads up and whoever hasn't read all the four can skip books 2 & 3 and go straight to book 4 if you're interested in Bella's talent, just saying.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Nutty, ha ha Lub your last line about how a person's a person. :)

Suessical the Musical is playing at the Jr. High soon. Can't wait. I'm going to suggest they make a musical called Spectacular Dracular.

Anjeny, HUGS! Great points. And you're right girl. Why can't we all just get along? Let's all grab a Code Red and Chillax. I'm buying.

Oh Iwa, I lub all your music stories. I lub that your kids know all the words to Anyone Else. My kids listen to my play list all the time and it makes me so happy, especially when we're sitting down for Sunday dinner and they all break out in some random Radio Head song or 4 Non Blonds, or Corinne Bailey Rae and they know all the words. I have to think my job is done here. :)

That makes me sad/happy to hear about the 7th ward. I'm not going to tell Tatum about the youth temple trip. SNIFF. She's been looking at 7th ward photos on Facebook this week and sighing loudly. I can't believe Penny is having another baby any day. The last time she had a baby was the day before the Ward Christmas party and she and her big belly were at the church cutting and hanging stars the day before and then she at the party with her baby the day after.

One thing we know for sho' that baby will be adorable.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

P.S. Nutty, most of those 40 comments are mine. hee hee

Braden said...

Carsh, my contribution to putting a stake into the heart of division and star belly/fang prejudice everywhere is to say the Seussical the Musical is WONDERFUL. I am a little jealous you get to see it. It really is a delightful show.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH Braden, I absoplutely LUB Suessical the Musical SOOO MUCH! One of my all time favs.

Okay, so I'm a huge Broadway nut. My hub and I go to NYC sometimes and see show after show after show. I've seen Les Mis there at least 6 times. I LUBBED Miss Saigon and SPAMALOT is one of my favs too. I also LUBBED Shrek the Musical and was so sad when it flopped. Did you see it. Am I crazy?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh and how can I forget Wicked. I jumped on that band wagon too. Seen it three times at the Gershwin.

Braden said...

OMGosh, indeed! I am with you on the musical thing. I am in the happy situation of teaching musical theatre at my school. In fact, we just finished our production of Annie--a show I normally hate but came to like because our Annie and Sandy were just so darned cute.

Unfortunately, being a teacher also means I don't get to NYC very often, but follow them all faithfully via the soundtracks and reading all I can.

I think "The Song That Goes Like This" is one of the most brilliant satires I've ever heard.

I never got into Shrek because I was in the middle of a show when it came out, so I didn't have time to get into it--when I did, it had flopped, so it seemed pointless. I was rooting for it though

The Crash Test Dummy said...

"The Song That Goes Like This" had me rolling in the aisles. (or actually in the foyer. I was in the standing room only section.)

And Shrek the musical was AMAZING! I laughed almost as hard as I did in Spamalot. If it ever comes to SL I'll be first in line. ]

Our high school has a fantastic drama dept. I'm taking my YW to see Damn Yankees in 2 weeks.

Hooray for theater!

Braden said...

Ok, I hate to keep being all 'Yeah!!! Me too!" like a pair of 8th graders texting, but I just wanted to say that Damn Yankees is wonderful. If I could pick one show to teach the YW or YM about the power and beauty of marriage, it would be that one. I am saying that just in case anyone complains you can have that filed away. I actually thought about doingit next year with my kids, but decided the whole Lola thing was too much for a 13 year old and wasn't comfortable with that. But what a great show!

Melanie J said...

How did you sneak in my head and steal my opinion without me noticing? Huh?

You did it when I was trying to figure out what the helk a football hold in when nursing a twig legged baby, didn't you?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I have to weigh in on Suessical the Musical, it is the bestest ever. And I love love loved Shrek, even though I only watched in on You-tube. I feel one with Shrek in so many ways.

I am slightly green about you getting to go to NYC and watch musical after musical. That would be a dream come true for me.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh my goodness! Melanie J, you had your little twig legged baby? Congrats!!! I hoped you got to see The Office last week when Pam had her little twig legged baby. Sorry for sneaking into your brain and publishing your opinions.

Nutty, someday you and I are taking a road trip to NYC. (make that a plane trip). I lub that you lub Shrek the musical. I'm a total shrekie.

Braden, I am so happy to know about the Damn Yankees/marriage connection. We have been focusing on marriage for the past two weeks with the girls and now I know just what to say when I go to hit the bishop up for money tomorrow.


katie t said...


I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

In S. Meyer's book (although you already excluded her) wasn't HE the good guy, with standards and all, and she was the not to good girl? :)

Read book 2 and you'll fall for Jacob. And 3. :-)

Although again, the movie almost convinced me to like Edward most.

BUT I never felt team anyone. I read a book as though it's someone else's story (it is!) and what happens happens. I never think of who the girl should pick, I just wait to see who she picked. Cause I already picked! :)

All these swear words in your comment box is making me nervous. ;-)

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

(and did you ever click on the link to read the post I am dying for you to read??? should I just tell you about it here?)

(it's just that I'm a proud momma!)


I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Just wanted to add one more comment to all your comments.

I never have this many, not unless I am having a giveaway. :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

For some reason I feel like I have to have the last word today. And to be number 60. Now that's a treat. 60 sounds so much more than 59.

Low, I went and checked out your post. WOW! That was awesome!

Yes, Edward is the good guy. That's why I excluded S. Myers. And Bella isn't totally bland and boring and uptight.

Oh, Katie, how funny we're neighbors, but we should be best friends. ;) High five

Heidi Ashworth said...

Sorry to ruin your even 60, here. I think Twilight is a victim of its inception--it was a dream. There are no guarantees of appropriate conflict and well-drawn heroines in dreams. They just are. I think the thing this series has going for it is her ability to draw you in whilst saying pretty much nothing. Also, the whole sexual resistance thing, something that teeny-boppers and middle aged Mormon women can relate to in spades. However, spelling your name Stephenie Meyer when everyone else in the world spells it Stephanie Meyers is pretty much inexcusable (JK Steph!)

Heidi Ashworth said...

My verifier word was "cretinte". I think that is probably "cretin" in whatever Indian tribe it is jakob belongs to (or is it Jacob?)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Miss Heidi! So happy to see you again. How the helk are you?

You are a cutie patootie. And your book had NONE of these problems. Pretty impressive for a Female LDS author.

I bet Melanie J won't have that problem. And neither will DeNae.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Thanks Crash. :)

I replied and asnwered your questions on my blog. :)

T said...

I think you've just written the best review to date of this book. I'll admit I liked it - but the questions were always there.

And I wasn't some crazy Twihard having to talk to my bishop about my mental philanderings with vampires - so you can still respect me :)

Dolly said...

Late as always. But I can't resist.

I love the review and the comments that added the bonus review. I love the departure thread about Broadway Musicals (which I have been deprived of for far too long).

But here's the thing that I got out of Twhylight (way after the movie came out on DVD, I finally read the book just in time to see New Moon)... and here's the thing that I kept thinking.... as I got sucked into camp Edward.

My ? was... Is this a clever chastity metaphor? As is "Bridle your passions that ye may be filled with love..." so that all of the youth will be able to fantasize about how heroic it is to put love before lust no matter how raging the hormones or pounding the heart throbs?

That's what I kept wondering when I read the book. But I saw the movie first and Bella was more Hollywood in the movie than the book so I might have invented that hidden agenda after learning that the author went to BYU.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Dolly, that is so profound. And true! No wonder it's so unrealistic. ;) Really, you totally hit the nail on the head. I'm can't wait to tell Tatum.