Episode III--Return of the Snuggie

My job is NOT to make you wish you were there, it's to make you feel you were there.  I already wished you were there.  Believe me, it wasn't the same without you.  At the Olive Garden.  

Why else would I be waxing and waning about it for three days in a row? 

I want you to see what I see.  And feel what I felt.   

So stop your whining and sit your booty down so I can tell you a story.  

A story about a girl who grew up in P.R.O.V.O.   Who always felt like less.  But dreamed of being more.

It's not a story of love and glory.  

It's not even a story of a man named Jed who barely kept his family fed.  

It's a story about a girl who drove the family station wagon with the hood duct taped down.  A girl whose muffler fell off every 3 blocks.  A girl who had to thread the seat belt through the door handle to keep the car door closed.  

This was a girl who did NOT want to fall apart.  

One day while stopped at a light with her li'l sis, the hood of the family station wagon popped up and the muffler dropped.  She looked at her sister and her sister looked back.  And then The Safety Dance came on the radio.  It was like serendipity.  So she let go of her seat belt. 

The door swung open and she began to laugh.  And her sister began to laugh.  

And they laughed and laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down their cheeks.  

Suddenly she knew exactly who she was (and what she stood for). 

She was a crash test dummy.   

Little did she know that one day a famous slutty snuggie would be bedazzled in her honor by a famous slutty blogger.  

 

Actually that slutty blogger doesn't bedazzle. She just pimps out Jilly Bean to do it for her.

Brittany from Author Bee and Jilly Bean

But I don't judge.  I just lub.  And anyway, there's no one I'd rather share a snuggie with than Kristina P.

Except maybe my BBFF, Lisa.

I think Kristina P's snuggie is magic because as soon as you slip it on, it brings out your innermost secret desires. 

I secretly want to be Donny Osmond and Shelle secretly wants to be a hot blogging mama. 

I mean Shelle wants to be a drunken sailor. 

Barbaloot secretly wants to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. 

A very seductive Dorothy. 

So my hub and my super model daughter made a surprise appearance.  Get this!  Julie Youngblood thought my hub was HOT!  And yes, Julie I told him that! (Someone's gotta tell him.)

And my MIL made a guest appearance too.  So I made her do tricks for my peeps.  

I said, "Say Oh GAD!"  And she did. 

Then I said, "Say honest to Pete!"  And she did. 

Then I said, "Say oh my goodness, twice!"  And she did.   

Then she tried to steal all my friends from me.  

(Do you think she's jealous about the bread and jam?)

And finally, my rockstar brother crashed my party and went around asking all my famous friends for their autographs.  He was totally STAR STRUCK!  I have photographic evidence. 



After all my family stopped crashing my partay, we finished off our meal with fortune cookies.  You know what that means, right?  wink wink. 

Kristina P.'s fortune cookie said "Measure often, but cut only once."  

hee hee hee

Hey, I'm just the messenger.

That was pretty much it, peeps. The only thing you really missed was me giving out autographs on Caramacs.

Does anyone want to see what The Nutty Hamster Chick's car looks like? Huh?  Huh?  Huh?



I would show you mine, but I can't remember where I put it.

Last, but not least, does anyone want to see what the newest member of our blog bunch brat pack looks like? 



This is Debbie from Cranberry Fries.  Isn't she cute as a button.  Ya'll need to scoot on over to welcome her to the hood. 

LY everyone!  

The lunch would have been so much better if you had been there (and if I had actually eaten some breadsticks and salad.)